Waiting and Loving It!!! Feat Isioma and Tobore Benson

It is almost difficult to believe that the last time we had a Waiting and Loving It feature was in January!! Almost one year *eeeek*!

For all those who are visiting the blog for the first time (welcome!!) or haven't read a feature, it would be great to read a little background to the series HERE, HERE and HERE.

Right, now we've gotten that out of the way, let's go on to today's very special couple! Isioma is one of the ladies I refer to as my 'heart-sister', 'blood-girl' lol (no covenants there, just the acknowledgement that the blood of Jesus that binds us is deeep!).. I consider her a very dear dear sister, a contributor to 1 + The One (including Conversations with One), one of my 'accountability partners' and I know that we both looked forward to being featured on Waiting and Loving It! Indeed, when I sent her the email request, her response was "Yayyyy, I kent believe I can finally participate!" Lol.. Thank God for amazing friends!

I love the way her and her husband relate with each other. There's a deep friendship that is just beautiful and I am glad and very grateful to them for being a part of Waiting and Loving It (Isi-linyo, you did it!! Thank God for grace :-D)

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One: Hiya Isioma and Tobore, glad to have you on the hot seat! I think I am definitely giddy with excitement :-) Please could you tell us a little about yourselves?

Isioma - Hi!!! My name is Isioma Benson (nee Ikediashi), I’m a happy young woman and I recently got married to my gorgeous T-baby as I fondly call him (2 months in marriage). I am a worshipper, I just love to sing and show how good God is through my life. I’m also the first of 4 kids (all boys after me) so I can be pretty tough at times. I love talking to people and being an inspiration.

Tobore: I'm Tobore Benson, I can be quite reserved and enjoy my own company but I certainly love the company of my wife, my ‘Omotekoba’ as I call her. She’s the one person that can bring all of my different sides out. I love reading and researching and finding out facts about any and everything. I love to laugh and can laugh about anything. Oh and while my wife is the singer, I’m the listener.

We see how she listens alright.. :-)

One: Awww, that's lovely! So 'Omotekoba', how did you meet your 'T-baby'? :-)

Isioma: I’ve gotta say that my hubby will be more detailed here…lol! It was an early morning, sometime before 7:00am. I was on my way to a business lecture when I suddenly heard someone say – "Hey! Where do you think you’re going this early morning?" I turned to see who it was and he was just laughing. I told him I had a lecture and he found it ridiculous that I would actually attend an early class. He categorically told me he wouldn’t attend if he were me. Anyway, we chatted till I got to my faculty and he took my phone number and the rest was 10 years of friendship!

One: Wow! 10 years... That's amazing! Tobore, we would definitely like to know your version of events..

Tobore: I met my wife on Wednesday the 17th of November, 2004. Too much detail huh…lol!

One: Not at all, lol. That's nice actually. It means the chances of you missing an anniversary is slim to none *major points*.. Please go on...

Tobore:  I was on my way back to my hostel off campus at some minutes past 6:00am when I saw this young girl walking so fast and going to God knows where! I was curious as to where she could be going to at that time of the day while I was going to continue my sleep from where I stopped, at my friend’s hostel. I called out to her and asked where she was going and I was laughing at her as well. It was even funnier when she said she was going for a lecture and had to go early to secure the front seat. Anyway, I asked her to slow down and we started to chat until she got to her faculty and I asked for her number. She gave her number to me and our story began…

After 10 years... the smile must be huge!

One: .. And the story began indeed! So tell us Tobore, what would you say initially attracted you to Isioma?

Tobore: It’s a funny one but she looked like one of them girls that have never had their hearts broken – the ‘good girl’.

Isioma: For me, I was attracted to his ability to hold a decent conversation. Many guys in Uni lacked what to say to a girl. They just talked a lot of crap but he made a lot of sense and he was consistent at it.

One: .. A good conversation struck the deal for you, that's nice.. What would you say made you know that this was 'IT'..

Isioma: Hmmmm! Interestingly I only got to realise in 2014. We had been friends for sooooooo long and I had completely rested in the comfort of that friendship that it almost seemed weird to think we could spend forever together. One thing was sure, I cared about him a lot even though I fought with him a lot too. Anyway, in 2014 he rang me again and this time he wasn’t taking 'No' for an answer. I genuinely felt in my heart that it was time to listen, I felt a calmness in my spirit and a desire to tell God about it. I spent some time talking to God about him and my heart and spirit was at peace with the decision to take a next step.

Tobore: I remember going back to the hostel that day after I met her and I was telling my friend about her so excitedly and I was looking forward to an opportunity to meet her again. I knew in 2005 (one year after) after we became good friends that I needed her to be in my future. It sounded silly to my friends but I always wanted a good LISTENER in a person and she was 100% that person. I also wanted a person who was friendly and hadn’t been messed up by wrong relationships and she ticked it too.

This is IT!

One: That's fantastic! Now to the very important question, what made both of you make the decision to wait until marriage before having a sexual relationship?

Isioma and Tobore: Waiting was a desire for both of us. In all the 3 years of Uni that we were friends, he never made any advances at me. He saw me as one to protect. I think he felt he needed to keep me for himself eventually…lol! When we decided to start a proper relationship in 2014, we spent more time discussing other kinds of boundaries just to avoid any temptation but we were solid on waiting. On my own part, I had made a decision as a young girl to wait till marriage and by God’s grace, it was a strong resolve.

One: Was it difficult? Did you get to any point when you just wanted to let go?

Isioma: YESSSSSSSS it was hard! I think I can be quite the ‘toughie’, I won’t give in under any pressure and best believe I’m not tempted to at all but with Tobore the story changed. We only had a 1 year courtship and we spent most of it apart but it was tough. We were both so attracted to each other and of course we missed being apart for so long. The few days before the wedding were the hardest. The days became so slow….hahahahaha!

One: LOL.. Thanks for being real.. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak but God's grace is suffient aka Diarris God! So what practical measures did you take to ensure that you stuck by your decision?

Isioma and Tobore: We both wanted a good foundation for our marriage, one that is firmly rooted on the word of God. For me, I cringed at the after-feeling if I ever let my emotions win. I didn’t think I would be able to pray or worship and I don’t know if the marriage would be worth it after all. So we used the ‘guilt trip’ a lot….lol! We would say things like, what will God think of us now? How can you minister to other people 'Sis Isioma of the Holy Ghost'…hahahaha! I kept my godly girlfriends very close, I will tell them what I’m feeling, doing or planning. I wasn’t taking chances. Then we prayed sometimes when we felt high on emotions and of course we tried to spend more time in public places and with other people too. It also helped that we were friends, we would tell each other off if one person was losing it….lol!

One: Lol.. That's great, thank God. Now that you are married, what one advice would you give to your single self in preparation for marriage?

This is from the both of us – Nothing is impossible with God, not even the highest mountain or the darkest cloud. We couldn’t be more direct about this. We experienced God’s faithfulness at every turn in our preparation for marriage. From deciding to wait, to learning deeper things about ourselves, to submission, to wedding plans etc. We sought God like the air we breathed and He showed up big time!

One: Praise our ever-faithful God! Alright Isioma, 2 months in, describe in 3 words, the best part of being married?

Isioma: Companionship, Maturity, Satisfaction

Tobore?

Sex, Responsibility, Children

One: Nice one! Thank you very much.. Now, just before we go, It's PDA time! We'd like to step aside and allow you both indulge in some healthy Public Display of Affection.. 

Isioma: If I knew what I know now, we would have been married at least 5 years ago Baby T. Every day with you is never enough. I look forward to coming home now because I have a partner who’s also my friend. Cheers to forever baby xxx Oh and thanks for giving me a really kool last name….hehehe!

Tobore: I had an opportunity in my lifetime to share my life with you and I won’t trade you for anything in this world. Glad I stayed till the end. I love you Isiyoma Benson.

Mr and Mrs B!!

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Awww *sniff* don't you just love *sniff sniff*....

I thank God always for writing and making the very best love stories. I believe one of God's names is Jehovah El'Romantique - Creating love stories from time immemorial (Issac/Rebekah,  Ruth/Boaz) :-)

One of the reasons I love the Waiting and Loving It series is that it is an encouragement that there are so many expressions of God's love to us through people He brings into our lives. It's not impossible, it's real and God can make yours beautiful too!

Very importantly, God is LOVE so He alone has the authority on setting the standard and parameters for love.. Any other way is the wrong way of doing it, no matter how popular it may seem. I have had conversations with people who say that chastity is out-dated; impossible in today's world but time and time again, God proves that His word remains unchanged through generations and fads, He remains consistent.

It may not be easy but then, His grace is more than sufficient - that's a promise He has given that you and I can hold on to.. So, please join me to continuously ask "Lord, please give me your grace!!" Amen :-)

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