How to be in a relationship - One's school of thought

I am currently reading a book titled Sex and Seduction Exposed: Exposing Sexual Traps by Dr Sola Fola-Alade *let me digress a bit* - I bought the book after church service yesterday in Lagos and you can't imagine the awkwardness of walking into church with a book with THAT title... I could just imagine the knowing stares like hmmm "you're reading about sex".. Lol,

Ok, anyways, I was sharing on twitter @1plustheone last night, excerpts from the book as I read and it made me also remember a post that I had been planning to write following the Taking it back God School Post HERE.

For those who have read my previous posts, you will understand my position and commitment to having a God-ly relationship, courtship and marriage by God's grace and I like to advocate that :-)

I have met a lot of people who desire to do it God's way as well and the question is usually ok, I've made a commitment, but how do I follow it through? You and I will certainly agree that it's one thing to want something and it's another to have a plan to make it work.

One of the things that I learnt from the book is KNOWING yourself and your weakpoints. Know the things that sets you off emotionally and sexually in order to avoid it..

I had to pause mid-reading to do a much needed personal evaluation and then proceed to set rules for myself.. Of course, I believe in writing it down as well so that I can always go back to reading again and again.

Here goes!

I WILL:

1. NOT stay over at his house  - Now this one is something I am praying to God for grace. I know myself, I know that it would help my life and destiny to go to MY house at the end of the day. No matter how much of a great time we are having, I will go to my house. Even if he lives in another city and I have to visit, I will have to make alternative sleeping arrangements - not at his.. The same goes for sleeping with him in the same bed (I know the havoc that can cause). When we get married, if I want, I can live in his laps for all I want and even follow him around if I so please hehe

2. Reduce physical touch - I know myself, when I am attracted to someone, all he has to do is touch my face, play with my hair, hug me excessively or me him, give a light forehead kiss *I melt* and I'm setting myself on fayaaaa.. nah ah, no more by God's grace. When we get married, we can touch all we want - in many a place! :-D

3. Not talk about sexual intimate stuff at night or when alone - I know myself, when we start to ask potentially 'dangerous' questions that have no end point (at least at that stage), it starts to stir up thoughts and imaginations that should be reserved for the near future  eg "So, what turns you on?".. When we get THERE, it will be my joy, desire and duty to know and work it!..... But only when we get there :-D

4. Avoid being alone or in enclosed places at night - I know myself, the more intimate, alone time I spend with you especially when it's dark and mysterious haaa gbese.. (I don't know what it is about night oh! lol) - When we get married, *singing* "all night long"!

5. Not fall asleep in his arms - Yes, sleeping in the arms of my beloved can ignite things that ought not to be lit at all at that stage.. I know myself, and I am a romantic lass through and through.. I will start to see myself as Sleeping beauty and you as my Prince.. Not yet time to rescue me from my tower of abstinence so let's wait till we get married THEN I will cradle in the nook of your arms and dream all I want + the added benefit of that dream becoming reality in a flash :-D

6. Be mindful of songs I listen to with him especially at night (night again! lol) - I don't know about you, but I know myself, music is very powerful, it sets you in the mood for many things.. Many men and women have fallen under the spell of music.. I dare you to listen to "1 + 1 (Make love to me) by Beyonce in the 'right' atmosphere and feel alright (Ok, I don't dare you oh!) or some Rkelly or Banky W.. Gosh.. It's "God will make a way" by Don Moen and "I don't mind waiting" by Juanita Byrnum for us.. When we get married, our loveee playlist will be too 'on point'! Can I get an amen

Now, you may be able to identify with some of the things I've written but people are different, what gets to me may not even move you.

But it is important to know yourself and understand your weakpoint and trigger spots and avoid them..

Take your commitment one step further, write it down, remind yourself again and again, share it with your partner so that you are on the same page and the MOST important of all, pray and pray to God for GRACE!

God bless you xx

PS you can get a copy of the book HERE