Journey to the One... (1)

Hiya lovely people!

I would never have thought that I would take such a long time in doing a follow-up post to the last one! A lot has been going on and I kinda couldn't find/get my blogging mojo.. But like Stella, I'm trying to get my groove back! (Cheesy I know hehehe)..
So I don't know how to assess the last month.. On one hand it was really good and on another hand it was :-(.. I will spare you the details.

So in my last post, I introduced a series that I hope to continue in the next coming days (not weeks nor months nor years, but days - So help me God!). I was doing a sort of flashback and was evaluating how past relationships have moulded me - knowingly and unknowingly - to the kind of other half I am today.

Now, let me start with my 'first love'..
Most people have one of these, the first guy/girl who showed you what it means to fall deep into the ocean of love. The first person that made your stomach dip whenever you saw him/her or heard their voice. That first crazy/beautiful love. The one that you usually don't forget.
For me, it was the innocent, the world is black and white, love is a simple thing, kinda love. And I loved it!

Growing up as a Christian and coupled with the fact that I was an unrepentant, die-hard romantic (still very much am!), I always wanted and totally believed that I would marry my first boyfriend. I had thought that having waited quite well through my teen years, the boy/man I would finally meet would be the one I would settle with and live happily ever after!

Oh well, when I met my first love (FL), I didn't even think we would ever be in a relationship! It started out as a very innocent friendship and because he was a year younger than I was, I always had it at the back of my mind that 'nah, no go area'.. We grew as friends (thanks to hi5.. who remembers the days of hi5? lol) and in my naivety, I didn't even realise when we started getting closer and my feelings towards him started changing. To be honest, I didn't even think I was ready for a relationship.. besides he wasn't a Christian-Christian like that.. Just a very good guy...

To cut a long story short, he asked me out, I thought 'No way!'... He did again a few weeks later at which point he noted that we had grown so emotionally close and he couldn't hack it any longer as being 'just friends'.. I had a long think about it.. In real terms, we were emotionally involved and saying yes would only make it official (I was SCARED! Me, in a real relationship??!?!!).. In the end, I realised that I really liked him and thought I had grown so attached to him that losing the friendship would have been blahhhh!

...I remember the simple but sweet  things.. the first day he said 'I love you'.. I remember how innocent and almost child-like our relationship was. I remember how having never been hurt or experienced the realities of a relationship (apart from what the endless rom coms and novels I had fed on hitherto taught me), I felt so relaxed and care-free.. I had no issues with trust (Well.. apart from when I conjured things in my head...), I was so confident in the relationship and in myself as a person (healthy self-esteem :-) that I could never even imagine him looking at another girl!

Anyways, then came the lull in the relationship, we both had some growing up to do etc etc.. I will have to continue this in a bit as I have a meeting to attend now :-)

xxxx