Why don't you trust me?

Dear Daddy,

How are you on this beautiful 12th day of the year? It's been so long, I know! I'm sorry.. I wish I could be more loyal to the blog, alas so many things happening, but I thank you!

I don't talk to you through this forum often enough but thank you that you have made it possible that there are so many other ways to communicate with you so I don't feel bereft of your company! I love you so much.

Daddy, recently, there's been such a huge mix of emotions.. One day I am filled with such over-flowing joy that I know your love for me and your plans for me are undeniably great. Nevertheless, other days, I feel so so low.. I remember the things that are not quite right and I feel so sad. I remember that I need more money and I feel so sad. I remember that I am still single while it seems so easy for my friends to be in and maintain a relationship and I feel so sad. I remember that particular thing I have been talking to you and I feel so sad.

To be honest my love, I sometimes feel so afraid of the future and it pains me to admit that sometimes I am not 100% sure about whether you have my back and whether you wouldn't let me fall. I feel guilty when I have these thoughts because I remember ALL the wonderful things that you have done for me and given me and then I feel like such an ingrate.

But I thank you for the opportunity to be honest with you.. I love you and I know, I really KNOW that you love me beyond my comprehension and beyond words. Please help my unbelief... When I feel let down or disappointed by you, it feels like I hear a voice saying 'Why don't you trust me?'

You see I have a special relationship with my family and when I think of what I would be willing to do for them, I remember your promise to me in Psalm 27:10 that even when my father and my mother forsake me, then you would take care of me.. I guess you have to help my unbelief..

Help me to understand and see that when things don't work out quite as well as I think they ought, it's only because you have better plans for me . Help me to understand that patience is a virtue that always produces results in you . Help me to understand that your love for me is so awesome and your power so mighty to do ALL things.

With this my love, my Ever Present Help in time of trouble, my Constant Reassurance, my Light and Salvation, the Stronghold of my Life, the Pillar that Holds my Life, the Glory and the Lifter of my head.. I say thank you for having my best interest at heart :-)

As always, all my love,

One xx