Conversations with One - Gifts = Love Me, PLEASE Love Me?

Hiyaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

*Carefully cleans out cobwebs* - Lol.. Honestly, this is getting old! And I do sincerely apologise again for the hiatus.

Look at that.. We had a great introduction to the new season (Thank you all for the love *kisses*, and then I we just went MIA!). Lord have mercy! Well, we are back and we are back *cheesy grin*. Thanks to everyone for the love and for checking in, it meant a great deal and I appreciate you immensely.

Alrighty, before we dive right into today's conversation, I would have to say that so many things have been going on in blogsville! From my dearest friend Frances Okoro of Imperfectly Perfect Lives who published a brilliant e-book 'Chastity for Men'.. You have to pick up a copy, and it's FREE! (Yes, you heard that right!).. I shall be doing a proper review on here! Also, Tomi of Arike Arts got married! Congratulation hun! So grateful and glad for you.. Still on blogsville, my darling Sykik had a baby!! Whoop whooop! I am still rejoicing at the news. Please spare a minute to read her journey and testimony of this beautiful miracle HERE...

I know I have not in any way exhausted the news around blogsville, but we do have to get to today's conversation right? lol.. Let's go!

This week's question was sent in by a friend and it was something that came up in discussion so I thought to bring it here for your thoughts (It's interesting that we ended the first season with Gifts and we are starting off with gifts as well!):

Gifts - To Give or Not

"Is it alright or important to give gifts to my boyfriend's / girlfriend's parents/siblings or meet certain financial or material obligations?

The reason I ask is because I don't want to seem or look desperate to them. Also, I don't want to start something I may not be able to control in the future."

- Ms B

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Nike: Hello all, I'm so excited that we are back!!!

We are Excited! Yes we are!!

Isioma: Yes I'm definitely excited we're back..yayyyyy!

Nike: It's impossible to love someone without giving gifts. It's absolutely impossible to love someone in isolation. You also have to love the important people in their lives.

One: Hmmmm.. True, I believe that as well..

Nike: There's nothing wrong with giving his/her parents' Birthday or Christmas gifts. Once in a while you can buy something as little as a pack of apples. You are not in anyway obliged to assist financially but if the need arises and you are able to help, then there is nothing wrong in assisting.

No obligation

One: Alright Nike, I hear you..

Isioma: About the question, it's an interesting one and I say so because I sometimes wonder why we worry about some things.
Giving is an attitude of the heart, a selfless act of love. No one can really put a cap on the measure of their giving if it is done from their heart. You will naturally be led to give. Then as Christians, we have a directive to do so anyway without reservations and bearing in mind that you will receive the measure you have given.

One: Preach 'Pastor' Isioma lol

Isioma: Lol.. However, I understand that we deal with humans and so people can misunderstand and even abuse your kindness (don't let 'em hinder you though).
In this case, I will tow Nikkysho's line and say there is nothing stopping you from giving the general gifts - Christmas, Birthday, Anniversary gifts etc. Also, I was taught that it's good practise to take a gift when you visit people. So the families of your boyfriend/girlfriend can benefit from those. 

Then you can't say you love a person and not give to them no matter how little. The act of giving is not a guarantee for a future, it's just an extension of your affection and I dare say that your giving can increase as your relationship deepens. You just naturally find new ways to show your affection.

One: I believe so too.. When I really like someone, I have the urge to want to give or do something for them.. Not for any particular reason, but 'just because'. Sometimes, I think your willingness to sacrifice either by giving or doing is a test of how much you love the person!

You can't love without sacrifice

Isioma: As for meeting financial/material obligations, in the first place it's not your obligation as such but the bible encourages us to help our neighbours (even strangers as in the example of the good Samaritan) in their time of need as it is done unto the Lord. So I will say, do what you can to help and let it be done as a selfless act of love.

One: Indeed, key word (or words) is 'selfless act of love'.. But how about the writer's concern that you might appear 'desperate'.. Particularly as a woman. They might think you're trying to curry favour from them? I would like to know what guys think.. To do or to hold back?

Gifts = Love me, PLEASE love me

Jeffrey: I must say that I totally agree with Isi and NikkySho but I would like to add a little twist to it.

Overtime, I have come to terms with the fact that politics exists in every sphere of life but given the current trend of things, politics has been viewed in the negative light; myself inclusive. However, it is important to see how it can be used positively. 

The giving of gifts has away of breaking the ice or any barrier or misconception that one may have of the other and better still softening the heart of one towards another. This is very natural and I think humanity only took the cue from our Maker-God. Gifts are sign of honour, care and affection so if you care for, wish to honour or show affection to your significant other's family, please by all means do so. Even Boaz gave Ruth gifts for her mother-in-law (Naomi) prior to their marriage (Ruth 3:17) -"and she added, “He gave me these six scoops of barley and said, ‘Don’t go back to your mother-in-law empty-handed.". But I must say that it is important to not let it be a form of bribe in an attempt to gain acceptance.

Gifts open doors

One: I actually think it's important to try as much as possible to not go empty-handed to visit people. It's good practise to try as much as possible to take something along, no matter how small (and no matter who it is)

Jeffrey: As for assisting in meeting an obligation, I will say that there is nothing wrong with this as long as it is not a recurrent issue because it then becomes a burden without the bond of marriage to necessitate such. Such burden should only be necessary in the context of marriage, for that is part of what marriage is for.

We must admit that human beings are political but in being political, diplomacy coupled with the a godly conscience is imperative.

One: We are political? :-) I think women are the best diplomats lol.. However, it is very essential in a relationship!

Politics? :-D

Ok, enough from us, what do you think? Do you think it looks desperate when you take gifts or buy things for your boyfriend/girlfriend's parents or family?

Also, how about meeting financial obligations, yay or nay?

Let's talk!

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Remember that 1 + The One is very social :-) Please connect with us on:

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Twitter: @1plustheone

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Dear Daddy

My dearest Daddy of life!

It's a brief one today.. Just thought to stop by to let You know that You are the no 1 love of my life.

You own my heart, You own my head, You own my body and I am proud to call You Lord.

Thank You for the privilege of being able to call You Lord, Daddy, Friend and so much more.

I love You,
One xx

Source

Conversations with One - Season 2 (Introducing the Team)

Hello everyone!

It's another edition of Conversations with One! We are back, we are live and we are ready to goooo!!

A huge thanks to everyone for joining us in the last season. Missed it? You can read all the posts HERE.

Today's post marks the first in the 2nd season of Conversations with One... We've been on a long break and we are back with a slightly different modus operandi.

As always, Conversations with One is a talk-show on 1 + The One where each week, the 1 + TheOne panel (made up of beloved and very wise friends with a variety of personalities) and I bring you snippets of our 'round-table' discussions from a male/female perspective.. We talk about any and every thing!!

Ladies! Have you ever wanted to get into the mind of a guy? (I know I do! lol), and for guys, I bet once in a while you wish you could just read her mind! Well hopefully week after week, we get to bridge that gap!

The new panel is made up of 7 women and 1 man... Yes, 1 solitary man who is definitely up to the task :-)... However, remember that YOU make up the panel too as we only kick-start the discussions while we invite your comments, thoughts, stories and experiences too!

First of all, introduction - Today's post is an introduction to the wonderful 1 + The One Panel so that you can put a name and face to the people speaking...

I love to LOL :-D

Hello guys, I'm Mmesoma Lams, (aka Light) a Lawyer by profession, an Encourager by calling and an unrepentant GodChaser . I love to laugh loud and hard. I do creative writing as well... WELL, they say I'm a 'Special One' and I readily agree.. *winks*

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I worship!

My name is Faith, I love to worship and write songs that glorify God. I am currently in a relationship/courtship. I study Law in Wales...soon to graduate!

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Best believe, I have TWO boys! :-D

My name is Adenike Shoremekun a.k.a Nikkysho. I am married with 2 beautiful boys.
I love cooking, talking/ gisting, listening to music and planning events.

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Beautiful in my imperfections

I'm Ireti Oladapo, a wife, mother, writer and a daughter of God. I can sometimes be a bit clumsy but I'm beautiful in my imperfections.

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I love weddings! :-)

My name is Bodam Taiwo, half Yoruba, half Cross River and full Nigerian! Domiciled in the beautiful city of Lagos, I love eating dessert for breakfast, planning events especially weddings, going for long brunches turned lunches, listening to music and dancing, having a great time with family and friends and most importantly, trying to live out my life in accordance with my faith and the beliefs I profess as a Christian.

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Passionate about inspiring people

My name is Jeffrey Nsofor, accountant by profession, a Christian by Faith and a life-coach to all who need my help. I am passionate about inspiring people to discover their purpose, thereby empowering them to reach their full potential. I am an Author, Speaker, Life Coach and a Blogger (www.JeffreyNsofor.com).

And lest I forget, a die-hard Arsenal fan and people have also labelled me as a good dancer, looll.

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I love singing!

Hiya, my name is Isioma Ikediashi soon to be Mrs B in the very near future. I love to learn, like to read and talk to people :-D Any opportunity to talk about relationships and marriage goals is my delight. 

Most importantly, I sing. I don't just love it, I relish it. It's my dream and reality :-)

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I love food :-)

Hallo! My name is Ayo Thompson, I blog at www.1plustheone.com. I love God, love, people and food. :-D

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Alrighty, that's us and we begin in full swing next week Thursday. Don't forget, you can send us an email or put a question across to us as the topic of the day..

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Remember that 1 + The One is very social :-) Please connect with us on:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/1plustheone

Twitter: @1plustheone

Instagram: @1plustheone

Also, if you have any question or comment please send us an email too - oneplustheone@gmail.com

Music and Me - God Bless the Broken Road (Rascal Flatts)

I am a hopeless forever romantic... I have said it time and time again here on 1 + The One that I Love Love :-)

Love excites me, love makes me happy (like seriously happy, lol), I am fascinated by love and falling in love.. You can ask my family and friends, I can hear a love story over a 100 times and never get tired (Tobi, Aunty Uzo :-). I can watch the same beautiful romance movie and watch it the twentieth time and it would be as if I never watched it before. (Love and Basketball, Not Easily Broken)

I could read a great romance fiction 50 times and still save the book so that I could read it at another 'suitable time' (Redeeming Love, Night Whispers, Voice in the Wind).

I enjoy reading books and listening to experiences of what it means to make love work. I am sure some of you may be able to identify with what I am saying (while others can feel free to roll their eyes, lol).

As you can imagine, I used to dream in 100 shades of how I would eventually meet my beloved.. I couldn't wait, it excited me! It was no surprise that most of it was based on the fictional tales I had read when I was younger and as I grew older, my imaginations matured and reality set in, to be hopefully more... realistic.

I can't quite remember the first time I heard this beautiful song 'God Bless the Broken Road' by Rascal Flatts.. I LOVED the words. I loved it because it seemed like it was written with me in mind. You see, I started off thinking I would find love very early and be happily married soon after. I never considered heartbreaks, disappointments, broken promises, waitingggggggggggggg (can I write more 'g's?) . But heartbreaks? (check!) Disappointments? (check!), broken promises? (checkkk!), Waitinggggggggggggggggggg? (double check!).. I had my fair share of them.

However, while I have not liked all the negative experiences, I have come to grudgingly appreciate them as part of the journey. I have learnt and grown immensely. My trust in God has been developed beautifully and I am truly grateful for the things He has taught me in this process. I know and believe that by God's grace, I am a better woman today than I was years ago (Thank God!).. I am still learning, still a work in progress but I look back and I can thank God for how far He has brought me.

Now, the song is almost like a climax of this journey.. I sing it with a lot of faith and hope, imagining me looking at him and singing with a smile on my face that "Every long lost dream, led me to where you are. Others who broke my heart, they were like Northern stars, pointing me on my way, into your loving arms. This much I know is true.. That God BLESS the broken road that led me straight to you..."

The road might seem broken, tedious, frustrating, annoying, exasperating and you might just want to give up, but may I encourage you (as I encourage myself) that it would be worth it in Jesus name. God is the One who makes ALL things work together for your good (Rom 8:28). The wait might seem long right now, you might just have suffered another disappointment, you might just be tempted to just give in because it doesn't look like it's going to happen but let me encourage you with the words of this beautiful song - It will ALL be worth it in the end.

The road may be broken, the journey might have been very long and bumpy BUT when you get to your God-ordained destination, you would thank God for the road, the bumps, and see how God had been working it out for you.

Don't stop believing, don't stop trusting Him to give you the very best.. He alone is able to make it all worth it :-)

Sing along with me... Ev-e-ry long lost dream, led me to where you are.... " :-)

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It feels great to resume the weekly Music and Me posts! If this is your first time, you can read an introduction to the series HERE. 

Would you like to share yours too? It could be a song that struck something in you when you listened to it, it could be a song or worship that you used during a down-time in your life and it made a huge difference, it could be a song that takes you into the 'God-zoneee', it could be a song that helps you express what mere words cannot quite convey, it could be a song that brings a zest and zing to your heart and steps whenever it comes up!

Each song will be accompanied by a story, introduction or reason why it is the choice of the week..

Please send us an email oneplustheone@gmail.com 

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