After the last beautiful one where we featured Dr and Mrs Iwobi, I didn't envisage that it would take this long to bring you another one. The idea was to have it every fortnight right? lol. Anyway, thank God for today.
I am very excited because today's couple are people that I respect a lot! Even though they have been married for a whooping 30 years(!), their look belie their age and their affection towards each other seems like they are fresh in the marriage institution.
When we see married couples like them, it makes one look forward expectantly to getting married and alleviates fears of enduring'' marriage as opposed to enjoying it (as God intends for you and I).
Not only are they role models, they are also passionate about helping others achieve that spark and beauty in their marriage too as the Conveners of 'The Marriage Course' here in Nigeria (You should read about this absolutely fantastic and very popular course/seminar for married couples of all ages which started off in England by Nicky and Sila Lee).
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the wonderful Mr and Mrs Samuel and Kofoworola Babatunde.
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| Mr and Mrs Babatunde - Journey of Love |
We are Sam and Kofo Babatunde. We have been married for 30 years, and are blessed with 4 lovely adult children.
Wow.. 30 years! That's wonderful! It doesn't seem that way at all. We would definitely like to know how you met each other
We met at my wife (Kofo)'s 2nd cousin's naming ceremony 32 years ago in Ibadan. Her cousin is my friend and soon as I stepped into the house and sighted Kofo, I kind of knew she would be my wife. Kofo on the other hand also admired this handsome gentleman with jerry-curled hair (Though she would never have anything to do with a jerry-curl headed man). I was an exception because she saw beyond the head that was no longer to be curled thereafter. We got talking all evening and continued after she went back to her university in Lagos. About one year later, I proposed marriage to Kofo and she gladly accepted. We got married one year later.
Aww that is wonderful.. (lol @ jerry-curled hair). Please tell us about your wedding day. Any special memories or highlights fro the day that you'd like to share with us please?
Mr Babatunde: It was one (or the only one) stress-free marriage ever for me! It was in faraway Japan, where everything worked so effectively and not much needed to be worried about. It was a wedding on a platter of gold.
Mrs Babatunde: I was like Cinderella who rode on the horse with her Prince to a life happily lived ever after...at least the first few days... (Those days there were no destination weddings, but ours felt as such, so was very special)
Finally, the national wedding feel... With the Nigerian embassy staff heavily involved, international involvement and Sam's colleagues from Nigeria it made us overlook the fact that our immediate families were absent.
Mrs Babatunde: I was like Cinderella who rode on the horse with her Prince to a life happily lived ever after...at least the first few days... (Those days there were no destination weddings, but ours felt as such, so was very special)
Finally, the national wedding feel... With the Nigerian embassy staff heavily involved, international involvement and Sam's colleagues from Nigeria it made us overlook the fact that our immediate families were absent.
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| Memories from our Wedding :-) |
... And after the fairytale wedding, what came next? How were the early years of marriage?\
2. Never play with devotion. The Word is the powerhouse of any marriage
3. A good marriage begins with the resolution "my marriage must work; no plan B" This actually got us working at it and never giving up.
4. Love is not blind. The blockades to sight clear off after 'I do' and reality begins.
5. Love is a decision and not a default. (You've got to work at it and work it out).
6. Communication is not a choice but a must. We enjoy open communication with one another.
7. There is need for conscious commitment to the marriage.
8. We learnt to be pro-active in managing extended family interferences. You cannot leave this area to solve itself.
9. Setting boundaries for extended families and the opposite sex for prudence and fidelity.
10. Consciously carving out time for one another helped to keep the flame of our love burning.
11. Never put conflicting issues between us but in front of us and then tackle them from a united front.
12. Never go to bed without making peace with one another.
13. We learnt to park unresolvable issues for some time to reflect on them and then come back to them.
14. To say sorry even if you are not wrong, more often than not, it brings the offending partner to repentance.
15. Forgive and keep forgiving one another. We have resolved to forbear one another.
16. Prudence in financial management...saying no to impulsive buying and yes to joint consultation before commitment
17. We have learnt to respect and be courteous to each other. Never take one another for granted.
19. We learnt never to rebuke one another publicly.
20. To train up children when they are younger though very time consuming. It brings rest when they are grown.
21. Maintaining common criteria for children upbringing and discipline.
22. Learnt that every child is unique and so address their specific differences.
23. Never have favourites among the children. It wrecks family unity and love.
24. Children upbringing is a continuum (even until they are married) so prepare for their various seasons and requirements.
25. Living by example is the best way to train the children.
26. Never say too many NOs to children, but when you say NO, mean it.
27. Children should be treated with respect and regards due them. We learnt not to rebuke our children publicly.
28. Learnt not to compare our children with others as we realized that children (particularly when brought up well) are usually better behaved in the presence of strangers than they do at home. It is interesting to note that some good comments we hear about our children from outsiders, we struggle to see at home in their growing up years.
29. We learnt to give one another space now and then, so we do not suffocate our friendship and love
30. We have learnt to identify one another's needs and do our best to satisfy them. Learnt to keep non-sexual body touch several times in the course of the day. It just keeps us going…
It was an interesting discovery to realize that the persons dating were totally different from the persons married. The first thing to disappear was the Cinderella thing. The prince was not so charming after all and neither was Cinderella that fair.
There were major adjustments for me (Kofo) as I gradually realized in the first few months that my freedom was gone with the wind...rather shocking!
We enjoyed a good friendship mixed with challenges and also the blessings of bringing our children into this world, though it came with its own stress; but the joy of parenthood was really special.
There were major adjustments for me (Kofo) as I gradually realized in the first few months that my freedom was gone with the wind...rather shocking!
We enjoyed a good friendship mixed with challenges and also the blessings of bringing our children into this world, though it came with its own stress; but the joy of parenthood was really special.
Thank God for that and thank Him for sustaining your friendship over the years. We are so grateful to you for sharing with us.. But it's not quite over yet.. :-)
Since you've been married for 30years, we ask that you please share with us 30 lessons that marriage has taught you...
1. We learnt that prayer is the key to a successful marriage. When you report everything to God, He takes the issues over and gives wisdom for application.
1. We learnt that prayer is the key to a successful marriage. When you report everything to God, He takes the issues over and gives wisdom for application.
2. Never play with devotion. The Word is the powerhouse of any marriage
3. A good marriage begins with the resolution "my marriage must work; no plan B" This actually got us working at it and never giving up.
4. Love is not blind. The blockades to sight clear off after 'I do' and reality begins.
5. Love is a decision and not a default. (You've got to work at it and work it out).
6. Communication is not a choice but a must. We enjoy open communication with one another.
7. There is need for conscious commitment to the marriage.
8. We learnt to be pro-active in managing extended family interferences. You cannot leave this area to solve itself.
9. Setting boundaries for extended families and the opposite sex for prudence and fidelity.
10. Consciously carving out time for one another helped to keep the flame of our love burning.
11. Never put conflicting issues between us but in front of us and then tackle them from a united front.
12. Never go to bed without making peace with one another.
13. We learnt to park unresolvable issues for some time to reflect on them and then come back to them.
14. To say sorry even if you are not wrong, more often than not, it brings the offending partner to repentance.
15. Forgive and keep forgiving one another. We have resolved to forbear one another.
16. Prudence in financial management...saying no to impulsive buying and yes to joint consultation before commitment
17. We have learnt to respect and be courteous to each other. Never take one another for granted.
18. We do not allow familiarity to breed contempt.
19. We learnt never to rebuke one another publicly.
20. To train up children when they are younger though very time consuming. It brings rest when they are grown.
21. Maintaining common criteria for children upbringing and discipline.
22. Learnt that every child is unique and so address their specific differences.
23. Never have favourites among the children. It wrecks family unity and love.
24. Children upbringing is a continuum (even until they are married) so prepare for their various seasons and requirements.
25. Living by example is the best way to train the children.
26. Never say too many NOs to children, but when you say NO, mean it.
27. Children should be treated with respect and regards due them. We learnt not to rebuke our children publicly.
28. Learnt not to compare our children with others as we realized that children (particularly when brought up well) are usually better behaved in the presence of strangers than they do at home. It is interesting to note that some good comments we hear about our children from outsiders, we struggle to see at home in their growing up years.
29. We learnt to give one another space now and then, so we do not suffocate our friendship and love
30. We have learnt to identify one another's needs and do our best to satisfy them. Learnt to keep non-sexual body touch several times in the course of the day. It just keeps us going…
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| 30 years on... Still Married and Loving It! |
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I have to admit, Married and Loving It is one of my favourite series on the blog. It is encouraging to read about the experiences and unique stories of each couple in the course of their beautiful journey of marriage.
One of the main aims of starting out this series was to show that a beautiful and long-lasting marriage is real and still very possible by God's grace. Even in the face of reports of marriage break-ups in the media, the truth remains that marriages are still working.
Are there ups and downs? Sure! However, as the couples we have featured on the series have shown, with God at the centre of it all, you and I can have not just a mere coming together, but love, commitment, attraction, friendship, longevity, faithfulness, joy and a lot more!
For those who are struggling to believe this, I pray that God will renew your mind and embolden your faith to believe that He can make it possible. May your marriage be exceptional in Jesus name.
For those who are looking forward to having their own fairy God-tale, I pray that it would happen for you and happen in a way that is far beyond what you asked for or imagined in Jesus name.
God is love, and where He is, love dwells there #MarriedandLovingIt
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You can read previous Married and Loving It posts HERE
Also, if you'd like to know more about the Marriage Course in Nigeria, please contact me in the email below!
Do you have any questions or comments? Or do you know a couple that could be featured here? Please send us an email oneplustheone@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/1plustheone
Twitter: @1plustheone
Instagram: @1plustheone
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***NEWS FLASH***
Guess what??!! We got nominated!! Yayy!
Thank God, 1 + The One is one of the blogs nominated in the Nigerian Blog Awards in the category 'Best Faith-based Blog'! (Category no 7)
Please be kind, vote. vote vote 1 + The One HERE! :-)
Thank you beautiful people for your wonderful support!! God bless you! xx
Guess what??!! We got nominated!! Yayy!
Thank God, 1 + The One is one of the blogs nominated in the Nigerian Blog Awards in the category 'Best Faith-based Blog'! (Category no 7)
Please be kind, vote. vote vote 1 + The One HERE! :-)
Thank you beautiful people for your wonderful support!! God bless you! xx
