I present to you.. a worthy read for the fellas!

Remember this post about having more role model-ic men and more role model-ic articles for men HERE?

You see as my post explained, we have so many stuff out ther for being the perfect woman, particularly being the perfect wife/other half.. However, in my opinion, I thought we didn't have enough for men or it wasn't as visible!

One of the people who commented said something about embarking on the project myself! And I thought yup, you can complain and complain but if it doesn't solve much! Action speaks louder and is more effective too!

Well, I know a few 2-in-1 men.. They are role-model-ic and they write role model-ic stuff!

So here goes.. Featuring today,  a very role model-ic man whose blog I love reading both for men and women! With permission, I am re-posting an article on his blog catchily and aptly titled 'HUSBANDS: 10 things to do to make your wife go GOOGOOGAGA over you (Without Spending Money) Part 1) by Tobi Atte - Don't you just want to start forwarding the article to your male friends even before reading the content of the post??! :-D

For the original article please go HERE

Enjoy fellas! And we are eagerly awaiting the effect *wink*

They say wives can be expensive. They say you have to spend money to make and keep her happy. While I don’t think it should be that way, I know there is a truckload of truth to it.On the flipside however, I know that wives and women in general crave more than just “things”. In fact, many women will tell you that there are many things that you can do that money can’t buy, that will keep you on their mind for days. No Dollars, Pounds, Naira or currency needed.She will go crazy over you.You will solidify your spot as THE MAN in her life. In fact the effect of these things can last for days. That means that if you do one of these ten things once a week, you could make this list last for weeks and you could be at the top of the food chain in her mind for weeks! Weeks! Any of these things will act like finger prints in her heart and you my friend, will reap the benefits in more ways than this article can describe.

In the usual IJUSTMETME  fashion, this list will not be your typical list. Go in with an open mind.

Here we go. 10 things that you can do to make your wife go googoogaga over you. They are simple and they pack a punch. (If you are a lady, send this article to all your married male friends and they will thank you later.)

1.Arrange her closet: Don’t be fooled by the hype. Women may look completely put together when they are out but go look at a woman’s closet when she leaves the house for that major event or for that day she has something important at work. A disaster.  The other outfits she considered, the blouses that didn’t match, the shoes, the jewelry … women always face a time crunch getting dressed for reasons that are beyond the scope of this article (we’d be here for days). Multiply this over a few days and you have a disastrous closet that she “intends” to fix over the weekend. Arrange it for her and you will cause her to shiver with love. For reasons I don’t have enough space to address, she will really appreciate it. You know… pants in one section, dress skirts in another, dress shirts here and camisoles here.

Don’t do it when she is there. Do it maybe when she is asleep, out, cooking or something, and don’t even say anything about it. Let her discover it.

The reason why this will get her into googoogaga mode is that a woman’s sense of security is often tied to how secure she is with how she looks. So when you arrange her closet, you tap into her “security” self and make it better. Think about it. if getting dressed is about feeling secure, then you arranging her closet is really beyond arranging clothes…it’s you making easier to feel secure.

2. Recognize the opportunity cost: This is not about thanking her for “doing” something or for “taking care of something”. Oh No. It’s not the quick “Hey thanks for …” or “I appreciate how you …” Na. It’s much deeper than that. It about putting thought in the thanking processes. Sure you could just buy her another necklace or take her out to dinner but none of those things will count quite like this. This is the type of conversation that you schedule. Yup. The type where you tell her you want to talk to her about something after dinner (she will try to drag it out of you right away but don’t budge…just tell her it’s not something bad); and then you thank her for something by acknowledging what it actually took to do that thing. It acknowledges the opportunity cost. It acknowledges the sacrifice made because that’s the true measure. It’s not just that she picked up the kids, it’s the fact that she scarified time to go, time in traffic, and time at work to do it. It sounds like “Honey I really want to thank you for picking up the kids after school the amount of times you do. It usually means you have to leave work by a certain time no matter what you still have to do at work, sit in traffic for 20 minutes, endure their craziness, wildness or whining in the car on the way home and then almost right away, start thinking of dinner for the family and still pull off this great meal we just had. I realize that my career is not more important than yours but it’s just that you have decided to make that sacrifice for us all”. What you will see on her face may be tears or a smile or her eyes widen. However what is certainly occurring in her heart is utter joy. Pure affection. In that instant, if you really said what you said with conviction, her life will find new meaning and fresh energy and you would have given that to her. She will pay you back a thousand fold. Saying that would have taken all of 60 seconds but you will reap the benefits for weeks if not months. What’s more? It won’t cost you a cent…only some thought.

3. The Bestie call: More than likely, your wife has a best friend. They go way back and maybe she was even the maid of honor at your wedding. You know who she is and if your wife was missing, (God forbid) after family, (or maybe even before family) the bestie would be the next place to call to find her. Well, don’t wait till your wife goes missing to call her bestie. Do it now. If your wife’s best friend is a positive influence on her, call her and let her know that. We men underestimate the social sacrifice our wives make when they marry us. They don’t have enough time to spend with friends, they make YOU…dear hubby, their priority. Well, more than likely before you ever got here, that bestie was her partner in crime and she looked out for and cared about your wife before you even met her. Even if you met your wife before her best friend, be assured that her bestie is part of her support group now and sense of social connection. If her bestie is a positive influence on your wife, call her and appreciate her for it. Tell her you appreciate her and that positive influence. Guess who that bestie will call as soon as she gets off the phone with you? Yup. Your wife…and she is going to rave about you to your wife. Two things will happen instantly (a) Your wife will hear how awesome you are from another person and will instantly go googoogaga over you (b) That bestie will instantly become your ally. Oh yes. She will become YOUR partner in crime in making your wife happy and will defend you if your wife got a brain freeze and forgets how insanely awesome you are  )

4. Shake what your mama gave you: Yes. I said it. CAUTION! This one may give your wife such a good time that she may go into random giggling convulsions weeks after you do this. By the time you are done with this, your wife will be reminded about some of the important reasons why she married you: You can make her laugh, you make it easy for her to be silly and be herself around you, you trust her with your ego that you can be silly around her, and she always has front row seats to the husband private show.

Picture it. She is cooking, she just came back from work, sitting after her delicious dinner, before she leaves for work in the morning…anytime. You get up, boldy walk to the music player, or maybe the song just comes on TV or the radio and you bust out in mime and dance. I’m talking about a hip shaking, hip turning, rump shaking dance like next month’s rent is coming from the tips your wife gives. Lol. You may be thinking….what! I’m a serious kinda guy and I’ve never done that before.  My wife will think I’m possessed! GREAT. That’s even better. Trust me…she will love you for days for it. You see, a man’s ability to not take himself that seriously all the time…you can’t buy it with money. Women love to laugh and this will crack her up and crack open her loving.

Now here are the criteria. The song must be a somewhat fast song; it must be a funny romantic song. It must have a great beat and it must be a “girl I want you…girl be mine” kind of song. Classics/oldies are welcome and they must be songs your wife knows. Oh and you must mime/sing it TO HER!

Here are a few songs you can unleash your rump shake to:

- Limpopo by Kcee (Nigeria)
-Omo to shan by Wizkid feat Olamide (Nigeria)
-Baby Oku by flavor – dance version(Nigeria)
-Aint nobody by Chaka Khan
-Kiss by Prince
-Pretty Please by Estelle
-The way you make me feel – Michael Jackson (One hand in the air, one hand on your imaginary belt, move those hips and you’re in business. You’ll be the hottest thing your wife has ever seen even with that pot belly)

You don’t have to use these songs but you get the idea. So much googoogaga may come out of this that you may not need to touch this list for a while.

5. Show her how she is like a Bible Character: Take one great female Bible character. There are so many. Sarah , Ruth, Esther, Mary and so on. Read their story and find one or two ways that your wife is like that character. Find a parallel. Maybe that Bible character went through something similar to what your wife went/is going through. Maybe your wife shares a character trait with a Bible character. Is she hardworking? So was Ruth! Does she respect you and never ashamed to do so in public? Sarah respected Abraham so much that she called him Lord. Does your wife like to stand up for others? So did Esther! Discover the parallel and tell her. She will go googoogaga over you…as she should. The good thing is that this will benefit you too. You will see your wife in different light…you’ll see her like God wants you to see her. You see its one thing for your wife to remind you of your mother or of your aunt or your favorite High School teacher. But it’s a whole new ball game when your wife reminds you of Esther…or Mary, and she knows it. Googoogaga juice!

These are just the first 5. There are 5 to go and they get more exciting as we go along. Stay tuned for the next 5 in part two. In the mean time, subscribe to the blog to get notified of new posts, LIKE the facebook page HERE and certainly subscribe to the youtube channel HERE. Also, be social. Share the article (see icons below)

For more FABULOUS articles, please visit Tobi's blog HERE

About the Author

Tobi Atte is a certified Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner
and Motivational Coach. He is a dynamic event host and speaker on several
topics such as motivation, change, leadership, success empowerment,
relationships, fresh perspectives on faith, and personal growth in general.

100th post in 2013! Rock on!

*It's a double-whammy today!* In honour of the 2-day public holiday I'm about to indulge in hehe (God bless Nigeria!)

If you haven't read the other note posted today, please feel free to go HERE

Guess what?! This is my 100th post this year! *whoop whoop*..Now this is a big deal for moi because this is the most amount of posts my blog has seen/experienced in one year *squeals!* ... Who would have thought?

Thanks to everyone who show me so much lurveee on here! You make coming back here uber fun! And your blogs make the wonderful world of blogville what it is... wonderful! *kisses*

*Aside, someone was talking about the importance of reading books the other day and how much it builds you up in many ways. He was like how many books have you read this year and as I was counting, I remembered the amount of time I spend reading blogs and how much of a blessing it's been to me!

When I graduate from the School of life (in the very distant future), I will be sure to thank Baba God for making me encounter blogging and bloggers who have contributed immensely to my all-round development!

You guys totally rock!

So ladies and gentlemen, silent and commenting readers, spammers and real people, I am dedicating this 100th post to y'all! You totally and absolutely ROCK!!

May God bless you real good for the impact you've made (and still making) in my life! *MWAH!*

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In pursuit of financial security *phew*

*Permission to be real?*

One of the important qualities I have desired or that I look out for in a 'potential somebody' is his financial standing.

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Don't get me wrong, I'm not a gold-digger and there are other certain things that supercede the health of his bank balance but as a girl who does not want to 'suffer and no dey beg for bread' (in the tune of that popular praise song :-), I wanted to be sure that the man I pledged my life to could at least provide me with a very good measure of comfort.

It was really really important to me. Infact if I was being honest, I would have wanted a guy who could sufficiently take full care of me and many others, with my contribution being a mere bonus. I wanted to live in his lovely house if possible and travel the world with him! It would be great of he had a solid pedigree too, so that I would know that the money had 'backing. haha iLaugh.

It's great and inspiring to hear stories of how a couple started from scratch and built together and I admire them... but let me not lie, I was not too sure I wanted to do any 'building' with anybody.. I don build for my life tire, let me enjoy plix! lol + when I consider the number of years of potential building, I felt that I would rather spend that time in the South of France or on a Caribbean Cruise :-)

As the thought crossed my mind in church (yup, even in there, I have random thoughts hehe).. A thought came to my mind and I imagined. "What if YOU had the money?" "Why are you so particular about the guy's potential to be very successful even above yours? (and it was not because I was being selfless)"

The thing is that in looking for the next big successful man to spouse up, sometimes, I forget that despite being a lady (Gosh! I'm sexist to myself), I actually have the potential to be great and extremely successful!

Why put all that pressure on a poor human being like me when we've been called to the same inheritance in Jesus Christ - male or female. Yes, I want a very comfortable life, but I choose no longer to look up to a man to provide that for me, I choose to look up to THE One who makes rich and prospers.

Now, instead of dreaming of being the very accomplished wife of a very accomplished wealthy man, I can begin to imagine me being successful, building an empire, championing causes by God's grace.

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It also helps to see/read about visible women who have achieved so many things! That's why I love Ms JS Bass series on female role models! It inspires me, it helps me know it's possible.

As a woman, you have so much potential in you! And the extent of your greatness should not be determined by a man. Jesus did not die for that :-)

Celebrating all women achievers.. and men too! God bless your huzzle..

But I want that other one!!

I was gisting with my fabulous sister who I introduced HERE and I think I made reference to a new development that had taken place in the Secondary School she went to and that's how this wonderful lesson came (or was illustrated again)..

So let me go down memory lane a bit..

After my Junior Secondary School, I upgraded changed schools to a much nicer one that was uber cool! I had extra cool school mates, extra-curricular activities that I had hitherto only watched on TV, a fancy unifrom that stood out in those days, everyone had to have some kind of rep, teachers ddin't beat children *heaven* (in those days it was something oh! lol).. In short it was just too cool for school (in my mind) :-)

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At the same time, my sister was going to change school too and we both thought it would be absolutely 'divineee' for her to join me at my new cool school! I had regaled her with tales of school daily and each day she couldn't wait to hear the new adventures of One's cool school.. She did the entrance examination and passed (I did tell you she is super intelligent! lol) and we thought 'YES' she's coming in! Fun School for 2 - how mega exciting!

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For some reason, she couldn't attend the school any longer cause the parents decided that she would go to another school that she had also written their entrance exam.. Now this school was great BUT it did not have the 'trappings' of my school. It was just 'there' and guess what? They beat chidlren too and punished mehn! *shock gasp*.. However, it was bigger, it was growing in strength and it was quite academically strong. But my sister was disappointed and so was I!

Anyways, fast-forward later, guess what? My old school is barely existing and my sister's school is flourishing! I smile when I remember because I'm like who would have thought?

Now if we both mention our alma matters, hers would be received with more recognition and respect than mine in many places. The products of her school are doing great things! (And mine too oh, I mean look at me! lol)..

As we remembered yesterday and joked about it, I got a lesson from it 'Don't look at or judge things, situations or people with your limited instinct, but trust God's direction even in disappointments. He may be taking you to a place you don't really understand why, or isn't your first preference, He may be asking you to venture into something that looks quite off while your choice looks definitely more appealing, but trust His judgement... Usually it's a set-up for your own benefit because while we see the 'here and now'.. He sees the enduring long-term benefit, glamour and usefulness.

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(Be malleable to God's own picture)

This may be for someone who is about to make a decision or whose direction has been 'veered' towards something that isn't your first or preferred choice.. As long as God's got you, trust Him.. Very very soon, you will see and understand why, and you will thank Him for it.

At that time, my sister probably didn't realise that God was giving her a real gift in taking her to that school as she thought mine was better but thank God He interrupted our limited desires to give her much more! And now, she looks back and can say thank God He took me there instead of where I wanted.

Things to remember
1. Commit all your ways to God (specifically and unspecifically)
2. Have a plan, let Him know your plans - communicate it to Him expressly
3. Give Him room to change it when there's a need
4. Trust Him enough to believe that He has got you covered so He one way or the other, He will make a way for you
5. Usually, when there is a change, you will probably see that it still broadly achieves what you want but not in the way that you want it (eg, my sister still got educated but not in the school that she wanted)
6. With the right attitude (thanksgiving in all situations work), you will start to see that 'it's not that bad actually' lol - that's just the beginning
7. Ultimately, when the full, grand plan is revealed, you will love Him more for it and be so grateful He orchestrated it all!
8. Patience and trust should be your close allies!

Thanks for reading folks xxxx

Scandal me no more

I don't watch many series apart from the days of Desperate Housewives *big grin*, a bit of One Tree Hill.. I get bored with them easily. I remember my ex trying to get me into Eastenders and Corrie.. what?! I watched the former's Christmas episode to show my committed committment to him but err I still didn't quite gerrit!

Ok, so a few months back, I was introduced to this uber fascinating series and I got very very into it! Like I spent the whole day watching it and just wanted to clap with glee at the sheer thrill of it all! And one of the most exciting thing was that the lead was female *whoop whoop*... To be honest, I wouldn't have minded being Olivia Pope for one day.. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.. Scandal!

Yup, I dedicated a whole Saturday to exploring the exhilirating exhiliration of Scandal - Olivia Pope, the President, their affair, the first lady and the next 'issue' to be taken care of.. 

Now, I think it must have been around evening time when I had been sufficiently saturated with Scandal that I had that niggling nudge in my mind (Don't you just hate when that happens).. I knew there was something not quite right when I couldn't wait for the next Fitz and Olivia 'moment'.. Oh how I started to get quite irritated with Mellie and her meddling and interrupting ways.. Even when she was pregnant.. Like so? Are you the first wife to be pregnant for your husband who is spending time, quality time with his much more interesting mistress?! Can you just chill a little so that they can bask in the illicit-ness of their affair and the joy of not ever wanting to live without the other.. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK A WIFE??!

Yup, I knew there was problem.. I had to take a chill pill! 

I am a Christian, I know what my values and principles are, yet here I was rationalising in my mind the reason why Fitz just had to keep on carrying on with his mistress! It was Mellie's fault after all (too cold-hearted, too manipulating). It's Olivia he really wants to be with and we know that if he weren't President I would find him a divorce lawyer in a flash! Lol..

I know it's just a TV series, "One calm right down!" But... The bible says 'Above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it'..

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It's harmless really but I know the truth about 'fleeing from every appearance of evil (anything that looks like or dare I add makes what is wrong look pleasantly appealing).

A while ago, I made a decision to guard jealously what I allow enter into my mind and soul through my eyes and ears.. It's difficult and sometimes I can't help it but it's a continuous rising and falling and rising tilll I win by God's grace!

What we expose ourselves to, ideas that start as unharmful seeds grow into dangerous philosophies... I can't make my mind understand how I feed it with the truth of the downside of cheating, lying, unfaithfulness in marriage and divorce and make it get excited and thrilled by the very same thing I stand against.

I had to say bye-bye Scandal.... Though 'harmless' but mans got to guard my heart very jealously..

PS, this not only goes for Scandal.. It's more a metaphor for anything that does not do my mind and soul good.. God help me xxxx

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things"

A tale of a 'meeting'

So.. I went for a date meeting a little while back.. (long story).

For some reason I was quite irritable after a long day at work (which is very unusual!) as I don't get easily annoyed..

*Note to self* A day after work is not the greatest time for first meetings

Anyway, I have concluded that it was my very first experience of PMS! I have heard of it but never been a victim.. That's the only explanation I have for my impatience mehn.. #Thatsmystory

So, dude and I agreed on a rendezvous.... I said I would meet him there (cause I didn't want it to look like what it was not lol).. He gave me the address of the place and I thought "cool, close to work, I should be there in about 10mins).

Called a taxi and gave him the address, taxi guy was clueless so we said we would ask around when we got close.. After a few heres and theres, we finally got on the street. We couldn't find the place.. We asked passers-by and they didn't have a clue either.. I was PMS-ly getting very frustrated.com + I knew the guy was increasing my fare in his mind by the minute..

We went round and round and on and on and we were still lost.. A 10min journey had stretched to 30mins and 40mins was waving not too far off!.. It turned out that the dude had given me the wrong address! *smoke out of ear* (again, on retrospect, it was the PMS talking hehe).. But mehn, I was like why couldn't he just give me the right address or be sure before sending me on a wild goose chase! And you know how people can be with directions "Yes, go all the way down the street and turn left, then right before you swerve forward".. People don't actually understand the concept of "I honestly don't know"..

We finally found the place and taxi guy doubled my fare (Mehn, after the stress, I was ready and willing to give him that much and thank him too lol)..

The meeting wasn't actually bad and it was nice to be out as I have become such a social recluse mehnn!

Then, it was time to go and I heard what I thought was a real real damper! "Err.. so, should I call you a taxi"...

Now, the reason why I will make such a big deal about this is because
1. He had a car
2. He did not have any plans afterwards
3. He had asked me to come out
4. Is chivalry dead???!!!!

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Lol.. I have a feeling I'm making an unnecessary deal out of this but allow me to say that ahn ahn guy.. try now..
We all know that even if you came by bus, you carry me to the front of my house and then hail the next bus back right?

Or wrong? or find your way my friend!

But me, I like the door-dropping friend mehn.. At the end of the day, it's the little things...

My sister, my paddy of life!

Welcome to the wonderful month of October!

You see, October is one of my favourite months in the year (after May)! It has the privilege of being the month when my sister and bestest friend was born some xx years ago!

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I love my sister. She's a wonderfully wise individual. Incredibly intelligent with a beautiful beautiful heart. In my xx years on planet earth, I have built so many memories with her and there's hardly a secret of mine that she does not share!

It's so great to have someone to talk to about every heartbreak, those times when you absolutely 'hate' your parents and 'can't believe they are even your real parents' lol... The years of 'crushes' and almost bruising her ears with details of the new guy that I 'totally fancy' and she would suffer me gladly.. Well I exaggerate, not too gladly - my sister ain't gat time for nonsense.. As loving and lovely as she is, she is one person who knows how to set me straight .. like "dude, seriously??!" LOL... Sometimes, I bite my nails nervoulsy when I have to 'confess' something I shouldn't have done.. But no matter how frightening it is, I always breathe a sigh of relief *sigh* whenever I have poured out my misdemeanour heart to her.. She tries (try being the operative word here) to be non-judgemental and I have to say, she succeeds most of the time lol.

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One of the best things about having a sister and best friend like her is the wonderful fact that we both love Jesus! It totally rocks! Because even when we don't particularly want to love the other at that particular time, we just have to do 'the right thing' before God sets us straight.. (well or at least our mother hehe).. I am grateful to have a confidant whose head is screwed on tightly on her head, an encourager who believes I can fly to the moon and back - unassisted, and who also thinks and says that no man is good enough for me (but a good husband will do hehehe), a friend who prays for me almost as much as she does herself, a sister who loves her sister without doubt.

She is my sounding board.. When she approves of something, it gives me extra confidence in that thing to think I actually made a right choice, she reads my blog and tells her friends to "check out this blog by this 'writer, she writes good stuff" lol, (got to love her!).

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I feel like she's my 1st child cause sometimes the kind of protective love that I have for her makes me imagine how I would be with my children or husband! I know I have had to shake -up 'warn' a number of people on her behalf (girls are not smiling oh *snarl*).... I would be grateful to God if I get to have the kind of friendship I have with her, with my husband.. Deep sturves mehn.

I could go on and on.. but I'll stop here...

In a nutshell, my sister is just simply amazing and I am so proud to have her! She is absolutely one of the best gifts God (and my mama! lol) gave me!

...If you have a sister almost like mine (cause y'all know mine is the best), please celebrate them today!

Happy and blessed October people! And for my Naija fam, Happy Independence Day - Nigeria will be great (we have to hope and keep believing!) xxxx