Some reasons ladies break up with guys (Apparently)

.... Now ladies, we know that guys can break up for both real and ridiculous reasons! You can look at their responses here.



So how did we do in the survey?

1. “He wore sunglasses indoors.” (I blame Hip Hop)

2. “He cracked jokes all the time. I find funny guys really attractive at first, but the novelty always seems to wear off very quickly. What’s sexy at first can soon get quite irritating.” (yeah, I kinda agree)

3. “We never had an argument, in four years of dating. You might think that’s a good thing, but in the end I realised that it was because I couldn’t be bothered to disagree with him. It was easier to let him think that I agreed, because I just couldn’t be bothered.” (True)

4. “He kept tickling me. Fun the first time, really annoying the 30th time – and for some reason he thought I’d find it a turn-on.” (Repeat-offending)

5. “He let me make all the decisions. I like a guy to be accommodating to some extent, but I want him to take control sometimes. I don’t always want to be the one who decides what film we’re going to see.” (Please, be a man!)

6. “He got on better with my mum than I did. He’d phone her for a random chat, which I found really creepy.” (I don't think I would mind actually :-)

7. “He always insisted on picking up the bill on dates. It’s nice to be treated, and it’s obviously great when a bloke can pay his way, but it felt like he was trying to buy me. I earn money too and I’d like the chance to show it.” (Pass him my way, please. Thank you!)

8. “He talked dirty. He thought it was sexy but I was freaked out by it.” (Dump!)

9. “I farted during a date. He didn’t say anything but I was so humiliated I never wanted to see him again.” (LOL)

10. “We bumped into his ex girlfriend in town one day, and he started chatting to her without introducing us. It was awesomely rude and I never forgave him for it.” (Dumped like yesterday!)

11. “He wore more perfume than I did.” (LOL, look on the bright side, when you forget to put some on, just give him a tight hug, sorted!)

12. “He’d introduce me to people as ‘my friend’. When a guy does that, you have to dump him ‘cause you know you’re on borrowed time. I dumped him so he couldn’t dump me first.” (Wisdom is profitable)

13. “He never held my hand in public.” (Hmmmm, hold his!)

14. “He constantly held my hand in public and it got irritating, especially when he was sweaty.” (LOL, donate to the above)

15. “He snored in bed and he’d get really angry when I tried to turn him over, because it ‘woke him up’. Haha! I’d been lying awake for hours listening to his noise! I’ve now resolved to dump any man as soon as I know he’s a snorer.” (What are you doing in bed? :-P)

16. “He cried too easily. I liked that he was sensitive, but his crying made me uncomfortable. I’m slightly ashamed to say it but I want a man who’s strong and will comfort me when things happen, not a man who’ll join in with the crying.” (Dump! but with caution and plenty tissues)

17. “He was too well-endowed.” (How do you know that *tut tut*)

18. “He always put his tongue right into my mouth when we kissed, and it took all the enjoyment out of snogging. He was a gorgeous man and he’d had plenty of girlfriends, so I have no idea how he got to 30 years old without being taught to kiss better. It’s a total deal-breaker, and it was a shame because I really fancied him.” (erhmmm.. Nah)

19. “He kept me waiting for days for phone calls. He said he wanted to ‘take things slowly’ because he’d been hurt in the past, but it just frustrated the life out of me. It felt like he was playing hard to get, and that’s incredibly irritating. If a guy likes me I want him to ring me constantly!” (Playing hard to get is MY job.. Dump!)

20. “He rang me constantly and it got on my nerves.” (I like plenty calls :-)

21. “He spent loads of money on designer labels. I liked that he took so much care over his appearance, but he never had any money left to spend on me.” (Stingy.com)

22. “He kept telling me how ‘fit’ I was. That’s nice, but I wanted him to say that I was clever and funny, or that I had nice knees or something. ‘You’re fit, you’re gorgeous’ is just a bit obvious… also it sounded a bit common.” (I hate that too, when I'm not Barbie)


23. “He couldn’t pronounce my surname properly.” (He couldn't wait for you to take his darling :-)

24. “He made fun of me all the time. He seemed to think it was flirtatious to insult my nose.” (Nahhh)

25. “He’d spent a year travelling round the world and he talked about it quite a lot. I felt totally dull by comparison. Plus I was jealous of him.” (Baby let him upgrade you)

26. “He had very unruly body hair. You know, ‘down there’. I didn’t have the guts to ask him to trim it.” (How do you know *shock gasp*)

27. "He was very mean about his ex girlfriend. He’d call her a slut and all sorts. He’d dated her for more than a year. So if she’s a slut, what am I?” (No way matey!)

28. “He was quite picky with his food. I felt so self-conscious when we ate together because I’d always want to eat more than him, and it made me feel like a right pig.” (Lol, I may have that problem)

29. “He never shaved properly, and my chin was developing a chronic rash.” (Be kind guys)

30. “He was quite shy and had real trouble making eye contact. I need a man who’ll gaze at my face.” (Lol, bashful date?)

31. “He told me off for talking too much. I only talked too much because I felt so alive and enthusiastic in his company – I wasn’t like that with other people. But he moaned about it so I dumped him.” (No Moan please)

32. “We spent every evening snuggled on the sofa watching telly. He thought we had the perfect relationship but I was bored out of my mind. At the beginning I’d had to chase him a bit, and I’d found that very exciting. Knowing that you’re going to spend every evening on the sofa isn’t so exciting.” (A bit of adventure never hurt anyone)

33. “After a year of living together he’d still never done a load of washing voluntarily.” (Laziness is a fatal disease for relationships)

34. “I heard that my ex was getting married and I wished it was me who was marrying him. So I dumped the guy I’d left my ex for.” (Understandable)

35. “When I’m in love with a guy I’m fantastically vain, but with my ex I stopped caring what I looked like. As soon as I realised that, I had to get out of the relationship.” (Over-familiarity is another bad relationship disease)

36. “He cooked lots of curries and I was putting on weight.” (Haha, my friend hit the gym or close your mouth)

37. “He told me he loved me on our second date. Alarm bells…” (#Awkward)

So there we have it folks.. Ultimately, I believe that when someone is 'not that into you', they could come up with ALL sorts of excuses to get out.. But when an individual understands what love and commitment is, especially when they want to spend the rest of their lives with you, these excuses become trivialities..

Look out for those, they are definitely worth keeping! :-)

God bless xx

Reasons why men call it quits (apparently!)

Ladies, has it ever bogged you to know why that fella called it quits? Well here are some responses some guys gave to an MSN survey..
And fellas, do you think that reason you gave was incredulous? Well, you need to get a load of some of the reasons given. I didn't know whether to laugh or shake my head!

Oh my goodness, what can the ladies do right with all these mainly unrealistic expectations!! But some people are vain though! ... But before you judge, think deeply about that particular individual and why they just 'irritated' you.. Your answers may not be that different :-) (God help us right?!).

And some of the responses are food for thought, some of the 'little' things we do that are seemingly irrelevant could be a BIG deal..

1. “I was on the phone to a girl I’d been seeing for a few weeks. We got into a disagreement about something trivial, and she hung up on me. I was furious – it was like she’d hit me in the face. I never rang her again.” (Temper-Temper!)

2. “She always wore foundation on her face, including first thing in the morning. Her skin was fine underneath it – a couple of spots but nothing major. But she had this compulsion to wear foundation. It was massively unsexy.” (Oh oh, I need to be more faithful at my nightly rituals!)

3. “I cooked her a curry one night and she only ate a tiny bit because she was on a diet. Dumped.” (No problem there, *belch*)

4. “She had actual conversations with her cat while I was there.” (LOL, even I would dump myself!)

5. “I dumped my ex as soon as she started acting like more of a lad than I did. I’ve nothing against swearing as such, but it’s not nice if a girl swears all the time. It made her seem thick.” (err.. take back that belch!)

6. “I had to do all the talking on our dates. Maybe she thought that she was doing herself a favour by keeping her mouth shut, but I prefer women to talk too much than too little. I don’t want to do all the work.” (Mehn, I have done this before oh, I was just too nervous on the date #fail)

7. “She kept failing her driving test and I was fed up being her chauffeur.” (I guess he wasn't a fan of driving Miss Daisy ey?)

8. “She slept in a night dress.” (erm....?)

9. “When I first met her she was wearing a fairly loose T-shirt and she looked great, but once we started seeing each other she was always in figure-hugging clothes. I’m not a chauvinist – a woman can wear what she likes – but I don’t find tight clothes at all attractive.” (Hmm, a rare brother!)

10. “She ironed my boxer shorts.” (LOL, did I hear you say Stepford wife?)

11. “About two weeks after we moved in together she started wearing jogging bottoms around the house. The second she got in from work, on they went. She actually looked quite sexy, but I didn’t like what it meant – it was way too cosy.” (The curse of over-familiarity)

12. “She cut her beautiful hair short.” (I have surprisingly heard that guys find long hair such a big deal, Brazillian yes?)

13. “She pointed out that I’d put on weight.” (Back to sender)

14. “My girlfriend stopped keeping any secrets from me. It was like I’d become her best female friend, and she told me everything – things her mum said, period pains, workmate stuff. Too much information for me.” (*confused*)

15. “She was funnier than me.” (Baby let me upgrade you!)

16. “She never bought me dinner. At first I wanted to pay for our dates because it made me feel like more of a man, but there comes a point where you want her to stump up too. It never happened.” (Ladies, be kind :-)

17. “I was on a mate’s stag weekend and got back to find that my girlfriend had re-organised all my DVDs. That was pretty much my sole reason for ending it, and I haven’t regretted it.” (hehe)

18. “I finished with a girl because she couldn’t go out anywhere without completely over-dressing. Even if we were going round a friend’s house, she had to put on make-up and blow-dry her hair. It must have been really hard work being her.” (Some guys really don't send all that #thankYouJesus)

19. “My ex was late for absolutely everything. It’s not even like she spent ages getting ready to go out. She just had this mental thing where she wouldn’t leave the house until she was too late to meet me on time. It drove me insane.” (I guess African time wasn't really working out)

20. “Her bed was covered in cuddly toys.” (What were you doing in her bed? *raised eyebrows* :-P

21. “She slept in this big mound of pillows. If I was staying at her place and I fell asleep without throwing off all the pillows, I’d wake up with neck ache.” (Pay for massage lessons)

22. “She had a dog and she always smelt a little bit of him.” (I'd dump me!)

23. “She told me off for answering my phone at dinner. People around us could hear her moaning at me.” (Mona-Lisa)

24. “Whenever I wanted to watch a DVD at bedtime and snuggle up together, she’d either fidget or fall asleep.” (Guilty, oh no!)

25. “My previous ex had dumped me out of the blue. I was completely over it, but I was worried that my new girlfriend would do the same, so I finished with her first.” (hmmmmm)

26. “She could never remember anything that happened in films we’d seen together, but she remembered every single incriminating thing I’d said during arguments.” (hahaha, end!)

27. “Her feet were always freezing in bed.” *rolls eyes*

28. “She accused me of snoring, so I was always too self-conscious to go to sleep when she was there.” (lol)

29. “She bought a pink phone.” (??)

30. “She slurped her tea.” (#fail)

31. “Her mum friended me on Facebook. The only way I could get around the friend request was to dump my girlfriend.” (Facebook - responsible for many a hook-up + breakup)

32. “I am chaotically messy and I lived in constant fear that she’d try to tidy up under the bed. I don’t know what’s under there, but whatever it is I didn’t want her finding it.” (She waited for you to dump her?!)

So guys, which of the above can you identify with?

Ladies responses to same survey coming up in next post!! :-) xx

Do you know that you are so kind?

.. "And I wouldlike to say thank you for being such a good friend"..

One wonderful trait that my close friends and I have tried to inculcate is the habit of appreciation, compliments, affirmation and praise. We are learning that people are more comfortable and drawn to you when you know how to say good things about them and make them feel good about themselves.

Sometimes, we tend to forget to say nice things about people that are close to us or that are around us. We think it, we sometimes show it that we like/love them and appreciate them but we neglect to say it as often as possible. I am not saying that you should tell lies or make up stories to make someone feel good about themselves, instead I have come to realise that when you look out for the good in people, there's always something good to find.

In life, learn to celebrate people. Learn to be a way-maker, an enabler for others. Push yourself to say positive things about yourself and about others (even/and especially in their presence). It is a huge boost to their self-esteem and improves their self confidence.

When someone does something nice or good to you, let them know "Oh Sheila, thanks for helping out the other day, you're so thoughtful'. Thank AND compliment.

I used to find it quite difficult to do, as from my background, you only 'show' people and they 'just know' that you think highly of them. While that is good in itself, I tell you that it is even better when your mouth opens to express what you feel inside.. For me, it has strengthened relationships, opened doors and granted me favour.

You see, God in whose image we are made in, loves compliments! He loves when you tell Him nice things, pleasant things. He absolutely cherishes it. In fact if you are one to do it consistently, He makes His home with you. It is what we normally refer to as PRAISE and in that He dwells in and inhabits. In fact, God also reciprocates, as His word is filled with such pleasant words of affirmation for us.. 'You are fearfully and wonderfully made', 'Apple of my eyes', 'Light of the world' etc..
It comes as no surprise then that you and I also love when people say good and complimentray things. Not flattery, just appropriate appreciation.


As we start our week, I urge you to have 'positive mouth diarrhea'. let your lips drip with compliments and thanks for people around you.. Family, friends, husband, children, parents, boss, strangers, person on the till, security guard etc... And watch what happens....

God bless you wonderful peeps :-) xx

Tweet Tweet

... So I am now the most recent twitter recruit! (well at least up until about 2secs ago!)

I have possibly added most people that I have seen on blogger and a bit more. I just went crazzzy! lol.. By the way, if I haven't added you for some reason (probably cause I didn't find you), please leave your twitter handle in the comment box (Oh my, I just used the word twitter handle #feeling so cool with my ignorant self!)

So having followed as many people as possible, I'm wondering 'What next?' *whistles* #confusedface. I don't have a clue of what to do next! lol

But I welcome this new phase of blogging and hope to give more attention to my blogging..

And that's all folks! Have a good night and God bless...

....Lest I forget, follow me @1plustheone *huge grin* xxxx

My First 'Meme'

So, I have only ever been tagged once in a 'meme' (I don't actually know what the word literally means but I have seen it used to describe things like this. Any help in translation will be much appreciated lol)...

Anyways, though I totally appreciated it, I don't think I ever got to doing it! I procrastinated soo much, it went into the 'abandoned' folder. So I have been seeing this 11 things tagging stuff and it has entertained me for the past 1 hour :-). I have been hopping from one blog to another on an '11 thing' fest and I have to say I am thoroughly 11-ed or meme-ed! Gash! But I loved every minute of it! I must be bored! hehee.. Naah, it was interesting to read the answers that people gave! So without being tagged, I decided *cough cough* to tag along #straightface. Using the lovely HoneyDame's template, here goes:

The rules 

1. You must post 11 things about yourself. 

2. Answer the questions that your tagger the person you stole it from posted for you. 

3. Create 11 questions, then choose 11 people and tag them to answer your questions. 

4. Don't forget to let them know they've been tagged. No tag backs. 

11 things (you probably didn’t know) about me

1. I am very tall, like 5'11 kinda tall.

2. I love mathematics. I add/subtract/multiply random numbers.. Car plate numbers, ages..

3. Although I was a Science student up until I left Secondary School, I studied something totally unrelated to core science.

4. I have 'been known' to make up stories to talk to a guy I liked (you know that 'hey, you look a bit familiar? yup I did something similar - But it was a loooong time ago hehehe)

5. When I was younger, I was verrry particular about useless things eg the buckle on my school shoes had to always be in a particular hole, the numbers on the TV volume thing had to be a round figure eg 10, 20.. no such thing as 13! or 14! (You know you did that too!)

6. I was a pro at 'keeping malice' but growing as a Christian, I am amazed at how I cannot even stand it! I don't like people who have mastered the art.

7. In a relationship, my pet peeve is someone who lies.. I can't stand a liar and a cheat!

8. I hate when people are treated unfairly or are helpless or are bullied. I don't like snobbish people and pretentious people.

9. I believe I am as down-to-earth as possible and I love that trait in others! Be real! 

10. I love food! lol (When I was younger I could eat a house and not add an ounce of weight but now *cough cough* I am strictly watching the portions.. But I don't joke with me food.

11. I am immensely ambitious! But I would give up a LOT for the sake of husband and kids.. I love love :-) + I'm a HUGE family girl! Love my family much much! Immensely and thoroughly.

12. I love JESUS (That one right there is a bonus fact :-)

11 Questions from Uche of Truth and Fiction (Thanks in advance Uche from Truth and Fiction for not minding that I 'jacked' your questions...)

1. What would you do with your life if you knew money would never be a problem?
     In a very funny way, I would then not need to work for money so I would love to get very involved in charity work/help people etc etc 

2. Do you believe in one soul mate for each person? 
     Nope, if not many people are in big trouble!

3. When last did you cry?
     The month of March. Heart-rending tears that didn't help much but just had to be shed.

4. What would you change about yourself if you could, physically or otherwise?
     Wanting to be in control a lot of the time. (work in progress)

5. Books or movies?
     Books! I used to be a book junkie but now...

6. What was the most fun you had this week?
     Watching 'How I met your mother' with my friend and laughing my head off while eating my favourite cereal against the backdrop of a beautiful summery day! (The week has only started now :-)

7. Have you ever struggled with an addiction (you don’t have to say what)?
  Mills and Boon :-)

8. What’s the quickest way for a member of the opposite sex to get your attention?
     Good looks, height (tall) and that certain swag.

9. Do you like or show public displays of affection?
    I love it! Used to be very uncomfortable with it but now loves it!

10. Are you currently holding a grudge against anyone?
      Nope!

11. What is the quickest way for a member of the opposite sex to lose your interest?
      Incurable liar.

My 11 Questions:

1. Do you think we've met before (off blog-line?)

2. What was the last thing that made you cry?

3. What's the weirdest thing you've done to get the attention of the opposite sex?

4. What's the best thing someone has done for you that made you go 'Awwww'?

5. Have you ever liked a friend's other half? (Tell the truth :-P)

6. What's the one thing you wish you could do right now?

7. Chocolates or Flowers?

8. What languages do you speak?

9. How many kids would you like to have?

10. Most embarrassing experience?

11. If you had to convince me to marry you, what information about yourself will seal the deal?

Hope you have as much fun doing it as I did! (Should I be worried that I had fun doing it??)

I tag ALL and every single person that reads this note, yup even YOU without a blog account - answer in the comments section!

And particularly, for my 11 I tag:

Sayedero Enitan of The Fashion Engineer

Chiomao of Lovenwords

The Watchman

aloted

EroInspirations

Myne Whitman

AnotherShot (Doll Chic)

Okeoghene

Gbemisoke

Highly Favoured

May

Have fun beautiful peeps! xxxx

Tis all for a reason!

Hiya lovely people!

Thanks a LOT for the words of encouragement in my last post. I appreciate it very much. May God bless you all immeasurably!.

So, I'm sure you and I have been in situations or experienced things that make us want to ask the question 'But why did it have to happen?'. Sometimes words are actually insufficient to articulate what we are feeling at that point.

On the other hand, some of us have done things that we are not so proud of. So many things! In fact, we had rather not even think about it because it brings bad memories/shame/self-loathing and one is just wondering 'Why did I do that?', 'How would anyone believe that someone like me could do something like that?', 'How would I ever get back up?' 'How would I ever face God?' 'What right do I have to open my mouth to speak to God?' 'Can I ever return?' 'Could I ever be restored?'.

Well, I won't say much but I hope the following three things will answer your questions and make you understand what your answer to those questions should be. One is a very important verse in the bible that should make you understand that God is sovereign, Omnipotent and all-powerful. There's nothing HE cannot turn around to be in your favour. Absolutely nothing... In fact think of the worst case scenario and then put it under the label tagged 'Nothing'!

The next one is a video of a real life testimony that I saw recently. The video went viral a few weeks ago so I may not be surprised if you have seen it. But I want you to please listen to it again and 'hear' this lady's testimony of how God turned her mess to a message. Listen, listen and listen to how it is possibole for God to turn your mess to a fantastic message that the world over will be interested in hearing. That your testimony will be so HUGE, it will over-shadow your mistake.

The final one is a song that I recently 'discovered' and I'm absolutely loving. It's by James Fortune & FIYA and it's titled 'What If' (Please if you can, listen to all of James Fortune's song and hear the words of this great worshipper and minister!). No matter WHAT, God still loves YOU uncontrollably, He'll forgive YOU totally and guess what? He will still use YOU!

With lots of love, ENJOY! xxxx

1.  'And we know that ALL things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose' (emphasis mine). Romans 8:28

2.   http://youtu.be/LDf1nohU47g (Unfortunately, embedding has been disabled for this video but please click on the link to watch!)

3. 

From a broken heart..

It's 2months today.. And I still feel this deep-seated sadness.. Sadness is not quite the word, more like this sense of loss. It's not as deep as the loss you feel when you lose someone permanently, no that kind of loss is much worse - but this one feels bad all the same, very bad.

I hate doing sad posts but as part of one's journey in life, it's almost inevitable to encounter moments like this. And I want to use this post to identify with anyone - man or woman- who has ever suffered a heart break.
No one ever wants to admit that the end of a relationship has affected them in such a big way, it's seen as weakness. Naturally, relationships come and go. If it comes, great, if it goes, too bad - dust yourself up and move on. Just move on, everyone eventually moves on.... But you and I know that it's easier said than done.

I remember when I was younger, I used to be one of the 'hard' girls. Unbreakable! I didn't think any man was worth tears and sorrow. If he goes then 'gurllll he wasn't good enough for you' *rolling eyes*. I was the chief pep-talker amongst my friends and sometimes quite insensitive and not quite understanding the reason why a girl would be so hung up on a guy! Gosh, just move on to a better deserving bloke I thought! I had no patience for crying heart-broken friends and I didn't suffer them gladly.

Having cried my own tears, falling hard and deep, I am now not too quick to judge people who can't seem to get over the end of a relationship. I can more than empathise with them on 'that' hurt and emptiness that eats you for the first few weeks. I am so careful about it, I can almost feel their hurt when they cry about it. I wish I could take it away if possible and make everything work again. Needless to say, I hate relationship break-ups!

So, I am kinda going through that phase at the moment and it hurts :-(. As time progresses, the hurt lessens but once in a while it creeps up on you and you just want to crawl someone, be alone and cry/sleep/eat etc. I have prayed, I have encouraged myself, I have heard kind words, I have been surrounded by such amazing love and friends. Sometimes I feel goooood and can't wait for what the future holds! (Yessss!) And sometimes, the sadness comes like a cloud so heavy and so thick..

Nevertheless, I KNOW without a shadow of doubt that God always comes through for me in the end. There's so much comfort and joy I draw from Him at times like this and just like an anti-biotics dose, I have to keep 'topping-up'. As many doses as it takes until I am fully restored.

So, to anyone who has ever suffered a heart-break or who is currently surviving the end of a loving relationship, ultimately, 'ALL WILL BE WELL'.. Keep believing it, don't stop believing it and God will come through for you.

xxxx