Dear Daddy - Ireti Adebayo Oladapo

Dear Daddy,

I remember as a little girl, I would sit out by the porch, just spending time with you, talking and loving you. Sharing plans, dreams and the future also. We were Insurmountable. Beyond conquer. Indomitable.

By the sides, singing love songs to you, melodies only you could have seeded in my heart. We would spend hours and hours - Perfect. Simply basking, enjoying You. You, me. No care.

...and then, life happened.

I prayed for stuff, believed with my whole heart, held hands with fellow believers, agreed together, trusted unshaken. Silence.

I looked into the word, claimed promises, morning and night, prayed, petitioned. Nothing.

Bad things happened to the good people I know, 

Kids, little children with cancer, heart diseases, that pastor that died of kidney failure...

Hate. Lurid hate.

Pain, heartache, sickness, war

…and suddenly, it does not seem so perfect after all.

Confused and not understanding, but still, I worship

Heartbroken, but I worship

Rock bottom, but I worship

Inspite of myself, I worship.

I worship because it is my way of connecting with You. Do You not dwell in my praise? Yes? Yes.

Do You not keep me and preserve me, even from the fiery darts I do not see?

Have You not placed a hedge of fire round about me and mine?

Are my kids not pretty, dimpled, smart and healthy?

And my fine man, strong, and have You not made him love me so hot?

And even in the darkest times, have You not whispered soothing words?

Have I ever woken up in the morning and it was night or night-day? No, never.

Even if the whole world is divided, if there be throbbing soreness - like that brave hymnal guy - Still I will worship.

No force on earth, no misery, none can make me question, no reality is more real than You my Daddy, Abba.

So even in the midst of seemingly unanswered prayers, I count my blessings and I am overwhelmed beyond... The Yorubas say Kaabiokosi. Baba Mojuba.

You know what pain I go through, those details I can tell no one - not even my closest paddy-paddy.

Dear Daddy, I just want to tell You I am holding on, grabbing on to every hope and trust and faith... because You are my Paddiest Paddy. That one who will never let me go.

I worship. Still I worship. I will worship.

Hold my hands so I will not let go

Whisper Your love so I never forget, to always remember those precious shared times

Bear up my hands when worn down,

Support my tottering knees

Forgive my shortcomings, Oh be gracious unto me.

I love You Daddy, help me to trust You more and forever. Help my life please You always, make my ways bring You to smile and warm Your heart and soften You towards me, for You choose whom to have mercy on. Satisfy me early with your mercy. Let my lifesong sing to You. Let my life be all You plan it to be.

P.S, I remain Your girl, that girl on the porch.

It's me Daddy, Your little Ireti.