Spot-LIGHT *New Series*

Hello everyone *shock gasp* - A new post in only a matter of days! (Don't worry, I surprise myself too) lol.

Welcome to a new month beautiful people! I am glad that August is starting on such a fantastic note. I thank God for bringing us into a new month and for the blessing of life and love. All glory to Him always and always.

So what's the plan for this month? Perhaps I should start by asking - do you have a plan for the month?

Well, here on the blog, the plan is to start a new series. Yayyyyyy!

As some of you might know (If you follow @1plustheone on Instagram), I started working in the media and entertainment industry in November last year.

To be honest, it's been a great and interesting journey thus far, however just like many jobs, it comes with its challenges. I have experienced a number of changes and one of that is that I do not have the luxury of time as I previously did hence why it has become really difficult to sustain blogging frequently (and oh how I miss it sooo!) - I miss blogging regularly, I miss reading my favourite blogs regularly too!

But by God's grace, I'm hoping that things will settle and I would be able to manage my time better.

Changes will come, but one thing I pray for is that by God's grace, 1 + The One will not just continue, but will also thrive and flourish, fulfilling God's purpose to the glory of His name.

We will have more Vlogs and possibly new series.

Anyway, back to the new series I was talking about. Allow me to introduce to you beautiful people - 'Spot-LIGHT'..

I love that bible passage that calls you and me the 'light of the world'. (Matthew 5:14 - 16)

Light of the World!

Do you know that as Christians, day by day, whether people admit it or not, the spotlight is on us?? The moment you decide to stand up and stand out for Jesus, people will watch very carefully the way you behave, the way you talk and how you represent the Christ you profess.

Oh you didn't know? Well, make a mistake or put your foot wrongly and then you'll hear the phrases '...And she calls herself a Christian', "Christian my foot..", "Such a hypocrite!!".. Have you heard that before? Me too! lol

The interesting thing about this is that these are people who raise their noses at you when you talk about your Jesus or say you won't do certain things. You can just see them rolling their eyes as you pick up your bible to go for evening service (because Sunday service is more than sufficient!). Yet, whether they admit it or not, they hold you to a certain standard. You are indeed an Ambassador in every sense of the word. You are the 'Christ' that they see.

Anyway, I hope to share on Mondays the intrigues, delights and on many occasions, challenges of shining the light of Jesus when (and where) it is very very unpopular.

I hope this would delight, encourage and inspire, while I also look forward to learning from you and reading your experiences too!

#ImExcited :-)

You are LIGHT - Never forget that :-) xx

Have an amazing week and month beautiful people!

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." - Matthew 5:14-16

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Remember that 1 + The One is very social :-) Please connect with us on:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/1plustheone

Twitter: @1plustheone

Google+ - 1 + The One

Instagram: @1plustheone

Also, if you have any question or comment please send us an email too - oneplustheone@gmail.com

Conversations with One - Gifts = Love Me, PLEASE Love Me?

Hiyaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

*Carefully cleans out cobwebs* - Lol.. Honestly, this is getting old! And I do sincerely apologise again for the hiatus.

Look at that.. We had a great introduction to the new season (Thank you all for the love *kisses*, and then I we just went MIA!). Lord have mercy! Well, we are back and we are back *cheesy grin*. Thanks to everyone for the love and for checking in, it meant a great deal and I appreciate you immensely.

Alrighty, before we dive right into today's conversation, I would have to say that so many things have been going on in blogsville! From my dearest friend Frances Okoro of Imperfectly Perfect Lives who published a brilliant e-book 'Chastity for Men'.. You have to pick up a copy, and it's FREE! (Yes, you heard that right!).. I shall be doing a proper review on here! Also, Tomi of Arike Arts got married! Congratulation hun! So grateful and glad for you.. Still on blogsville, my darling Sykik had a baby!! Whoop whooop! I am still rejoicing at the news. Please spare a minute to read her journey and testimony of this beautiful miracle HERE...

I know I have not in any way exhausted the news around blogsville, but we do have to get to today's conversation right? lol.. Let's go!

This week's question was sent in by a friend and it was something that came up in discussion so I thought to bring it here for your thoughts (It's interesting that we ended the first season with Gifts and we are starting off with gifts as well!):

Gifts - To Give or Not

"Is it alright or important to give gifts to my boyfriend's / girlfriend's parents/siblings or meet certain financial or material obligations?

The reason I ask is because I don't want to seem or look desperate to them. Also, I don't want to start something I may not be able to control in the future."

- Ms B

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Nike: Hello all, I'm so excited that we are back!!!

We are Excited! Yes we are!!

Isioma: Yes I'm definitely excited we're back..yayyyyy!

Nike: It's impossible to love someone without giving gifts. It's absolutely impossible to love someone in isolation. You also have to love the important people in their lives.

One: Hmmmm.. True, I believe that as well..

Nike: There's nothing wrong with giving his/her parents' Birthday or Christmas gifts. Once in a while you can buy something as little as a pack of apples. You are not in anyway obliged to assist financially but if the need arises and you are able to help, then there is nothing wrong in assisting.

No obligation

One: Alright Nike, I hear you..

Isioma: About the question, it's an interesting one and I say so because I sometimes wonder why we worry about some things.
Giving is an attitude of the heart, a selfless act of love. No one can really put a cap on the measure of their giving if it is done from their heart. You will naturally be led to give. Then as Christians, we have a directive to do so anyway without reservations and bearing in mind that you will receive the measure you have given.

One: Preach 'Pastor' Isioma lol

Isioma: Lol.. However, I understand that we deal with humans and so people can misunderstand and even abuse your kindness (don't let 'em hinder you though).
In this case, I will tow Nikkysho's line and say there is nothing stopping you from giving the general gifts - Christmas, Birthday, Anniversary gifts etc. Also, I was taught that it's good practise to take a gift when you visit people. So the families of your boyfriend/girlfriend can benefit from those. 

Then you can't say you love a person and not give to them no matter how little. The act of giving is not a guarantee for a future, it's just an extension of your affection and I dare say that your giving can increase as your relationship deepens. You just naturally find new ways to show your affection.

One: I believe so too.. When I really like someone, I have the urge to want to give or do something for them.. Not for any particular reason, but 'just because'. Sometimes, I think your willingness to sacrifice either by giving or doing is a test of how much you love the person!

You can't love without sacrifice

Isioma: As for meeting financial/material obligations, in the first place it's not your obligation as such but the bible encourages us to help our neighbours (even strangers as in the example of the good Samaritan) in their time of need as it is done unto the Lord. So I will say, do what you can to help and let it be done as a selfless act of love.

One: Indeed, key word (or words) is 'selfless act of love'.. But how about the writer's concern that you might appear 'desperate'.. Particularly as a woman. They might think you're trying to curry favour from them? I would like to know what guys think.. To do or to hold back?

Gifts = Love me, PLEASE love me

Jeffrey: I must say that I totally agree with Isi and NikkySho but I would like to add a little twist to it.

Overtime, I have come to terms with the fact that politics exists in every sphere of life but given the current trend of things, politics has been viewed in the negative light; myself inclusive. However, it is important to see how it can be used positively. 

The giving of gifts has away of breaking the ice or any barrier or misconception that one may have of the other and better still softening the heart of one towards another. This is very natural and I think humanity only took the cue from our Maker-God. Gifts are sign of honour, care and affection so if you care for, wish to honour or show affection to your significant other's family, please by all means do so. Even Boaz gave Ruth gifts for her mother-in-law (Naomi) prior to their marriage (Ruth 3:17) -"and she added, “He gave me these six scoops of barley and said, ‘Don’t go back to your mother-in-law empty-handed.". But I must say that it is important to not let it be a form of bribe in an attempt to gain acceptance.

Gifts open doors

One: I actually think it's important to try as much as possible to not go empty-handed to visit people. It's good practise to try as much as possible to take something along, no matter how small (and no matter who it is)

Jeffrey: As for assisting in meeting an obligation, I will say that there is nothing wrong with this as long as it is not a recurrent issue because it then becomes a burden without the bond of marriage to necessitate such. Such burden should only be necessary in the context of marriage, for that is part of what marriage is for.

We must admit that human beings are political but in being political, diplomacy coupled with the a godly conscience is imperative.

One: We are political? :-) I think women are the best diplomats lol.. However, it is very essential in a relationship!

Politics? :-D

Ok, enough from us, what do you think? Do you think it looks desperate when you take gifts or buy things for your boyfriend/girlfriend's parents or family?

Also, how about meeting financial obligations, yay or nay?

Let's talk!

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Remember that 1 + The One is very social :-) Please connect with us on:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/1plustheone

Twitter: @1plustheone

Google+ - 1 + The One

Instagram: @1plustheone

Also, if you have any question or comment please send us an email too - oneplustheone@gmail.com

Dear Daddy

My dearest Daddy of life!

It's a brief one today.. Just thought to stop by to let You know that You are the no 1 love of my life.

You own my heart, You own my head, You own my body and I am proud to call You Lord.

Thank You for the privilege of being able to call You Lord, Daddy, Friend and so much more.

I love You,
One xx

Source

Conversations with One - Season 2 (Introducing the Team)

Hello everyone!

It's another edition of Conversations with One! We are back, we are live and we are ready to goooo!!

A huge thanks to everyone for joining us in the last season. Missed it? You can read all the posts HERE.

Today's post marks the first in the 2nd season of Conversations with One... We've been on a long break and we are back with a slightly different modus operandi.

As always, Conversations with One is a talk-show on 1 + The One where each week, the 1 + TheOne panel (made up of beloved and very wise friends with a variety of personalities) and I bring you snippets of our 'round-table' discussions from a male/female perspective.. We talk about any and every thing!!

Ladies! Have you ever wanted to get into the mind of a guy? (I know I do! lol), and for guys, I bet once in a while you wish you could just read her mind! Well hopefully week after week, we get to bridge that gap!

The new panel is made up of 7 women and 1 man... Yes, 1 solitary man who is definitely up to the task :-)... However, remember that YOU make up the panel too as we only kick-start the discussions while we invite your comments, thoughts, stories and experiences too!

First of all, introduction - Today's post is an introduction to the wonderful 1 + The One Panel so that you can put a name and face to the people speaking...

I love to LOL :-D

Hello guys, I'm Mmesoma Lams, (aka Light) a Lawyer by profession, an Encourager by calling and an unrepentant GodChaser . I love to laugh loud and hard. I do creative writing as well... WELL, they say I'm a 'Special One' and I readily agree.. *winks*

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I worship!

My name is Faith, I love to worship and write songs that glorify God. I am currently in a relationship/courtship. I study Law in Wales...soon to graduate!

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Best believe, I have TWO boys! :-D

My name is Adenike Shoremekun a.k.a Nikkysho. I am married with 2 beautiful boys.
I love cooking, talking/ gisting, listening to music and planning events.

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Beautiful in my imperfections

I'm Ireti Oladapo, a wife, mother, writer and a daughter of God. I can sometimes be a bit clumsy but I'm beautiful in my imperfections.

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I love weddings! :-)

My name is Bodam Taiwo, half Yoruba, half Cross River and full Nigerian! Domiciled in the beautiful city of Lagos, I love eating dessert for breakfast, planning events especially weddings, going for long brunches turned lunches, listening to music and dancing, having a great time with family and friends and most importantly, trying to live out my life in accordance with my faith and the beliefs I profess as a Christian.

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Passionate about inspiring people

My name is Jeffrey Nsofor, accountant by profession, a Christian by Faith and a life-coach to all who need my help. I am passionate about inspiring people to discover their purpose, thereby empowering them to reach their full potential. I am an Author, Speaker, Life Coach and a Blogger (www.JeffreyNsofor.com).

And lest I forget, a die-hard Arsenal fan and people have also labelled me as a good dancer, looll.

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I love singing!

Hiya, my name is Isioma Ikediashi soon to be Mrs B in the very near future. I love to learn, like to read and talk to people :-D Any opportunity to talk about relationships and marriage goals is my delight. 

Most importantly, I sing. I don't just love it, I relish it. It's my dream and reality :-)

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I love food :-)

Hallo! My name is Ayo Thompson, I blog at www.1plustheone.com. I love God, love, people and food. :-D

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Alrighty, that's us and we begin in full swing next week Thursday. Don't forget, you can send us an email or put a question across to us as the topic of the day..

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Remember that 1 + The One is very social :-) Please connect with us on:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/1plustheone

Twitter: @1plustheone

Instagram: @1plustheone

Also, if you have any question or comment please send us an email too - oneplustheone@gmail.com

Music and Me - God Bless the Broken Road (Rascal Flatts)

I am a hopeless forever romantic... I have said it time and time again here on 1 + The One that I Love Love :-)

Love excites me, love makes me happy (like seriously happy, lol), I am fascinated by love and falling in love.. You can ask my family and friends, I can hear a love story over a 100 times and never get tired (Tobi, Aunty Uzo :-). I can watch the same beautiful romance movie and watch it the twentieth time and it would be as if I never watched it before. (Love and Basketball, Not Easily Broken)

I could read a great romance fiction 50 times and still save the book so that I could read it at another 'suitable time' (Redeeming Love, Night Whispers, Voice in the Wind).

I enjoy reading books and listening to experiences of what it means to make love work. I am sure some of you may be able to identify with what I am saying (while others can feel free to roll their eyes, lol).

As you can imagine, I used to dream in 100 shades of how I would eventually meet my beloved.. I couldn't wait, it excited me! It was no surprise that most of it was based on the fictional tales I had read when I was younger and as I grew older, my imaginations matured and reality set in, to be hopefully more... realistic.

I can't quite remember the first time I heard this beautiful song 'God Bless the Broken Road' by Rascal Flatts.. I LOVED the words. I loved it because it seemed like it was written with me in mind. You see, I started off thinking I would find love very early and be happily married soon after. I never considered heartbreaks, disappointments, broken promises, waitingggggggggggggg (can I write more 'g's?) . But heartbreaks? (check!) Disappointments? (check!), broken promises? (checkkk!), Waitinggggggggggggggggggg? (double check!).. I had my fair share of them.

However, while I have not liked all the negative experiences, I have come to grudgingly appreciate them as part of the journey. I have learnt and grown immensely. My trust in God has been developed beautifully and I am truly grateful for the things He has taught me in this process. I know and believe that by God's grace, I am a better woman today than I was years ago (Thank God!).. I am still learning, still a work in progress but I look back and I can thank God for how far He has brought me.

Now, the song is almost like a climax of this journey.. I sing it with a lot of faith and hope, imagining me looking at him and singing with a smile on my face that "Every long lost dream, led me to where you are. Others who broke my heart, they were like Northern stars, pointing me on my way, into your loving arms. This much I know is true.. That God BLESS the broken road that led me straight to you..."

The road might seem broken, tedious, frustrating, annoying, exasperating and you might just want to give up, but may I encourage you (as I encourage myself) that it would be worth it in Jesus name. God is the One who makes ALL things work together for your good (Rom 8:28). The wait might seem long right now, you might just have suffered another disappointment, you might just be tempted to just give in because it doesn't look like it's going to happen but let me encourage you with the words of this beautiful song - It will ALL be worth it in the end.

The road may be broken, the journey might have been very long and bumpy BUT when you get to your God-ordained destination, you would thank God for the road, the bumps, and see how God had been working it out for you.

Don't stop believing, don't stop trusting Him to give you the very best.. He alone is able to make it all worth it :-)

Sing along with me... Ev-e-ry long lost dream, led me to where you are.... " :-)

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It feels great to resume the weekly Music and Me posts! If this is your first time, you can read an introduction to the series HERE. 

Would you like to share yours too? It could be a song that struck something in you when you listened to it, it could be a song or worship that you used during a down-time in your life and it made a huge difference, it could be a song that takes you into the 'God-zoneee', it could be a song that helps you express what mere words cannot quite convey, it could be a song that brings a zest and zing to your heart and steps whenever it comes up!

Each song will be accompanied by a story, introduction or reason why it is the choice of the week..

Please send us an email oneplustheone@gmail.com 

Facebook: www.facebook.com/1plustheone

Twitter: @1plustheone

Instagram: @1plustheone

Dear Daddy

My dearest Daddy!

Shepherd of my soul, everlasting Father, the King of my heart, the One that makes my life complete, the One without whom I am nothing.

I celebrate You Father of Fathers today and always. I like Fridays Daddy - not only because it marks the beginning of a new weekend :-D but because I get to write to You (when I am faithful :-)

I am grateful for the fact that I am able to relate with You in such a simple manner. You made that possible Jesus, thank You.

A God so great - Creator of heaven and earth, Master of the Universe, Commander-in-Chief of the hosts of heaven, earth and even hell.. Every single created being responds to Your command - Yet, You gave me and all mankind the privilege and grace to come boldly before You as a beloved child to their Father, to communicate with You, to fellowship with You, to play at Your feet, to have You wrap us in Your everlasting love and assure us that everything will be alright.

It is such an amazing feeling that a Great God like you would love a mere human like me. Sometimes I wonder, what you have to gain? In the real sense of it, this is an unbalanced relationship - You do sooo much, You ask for so little in return, and unfortunately we give even less... Yet, You love us as if we gave You life, as if we watched over Your head so that You would not fall into any evil, as if we provided for Your needs, as if we never took our eyes off You.... Instead, You do all these things and more and I am so grateful.

Daddy, I am so very grateful. I acknowledge Your goodness, mercy and compassion to us Your children, to me Your daughter and I am so so grateful.

What would life have been like if Jesus didn't come to die for us, giving us the opportunity to have a beautiful relationship with our Father in heaven.

Thank You Jesus... I would never be able to repay the sacrifice - You don't even require that - but I pray for grace Daddy, to show my love for You without reservation every single day.

May I not disappoint You, may my life give You utmost pleasure and may all the glory go to You always and always.

I love You Daddy... Very very much.

Your girl,
One xx

Dear Daddy

My darling, dearest Daddy!!!

It's another Friday and it is with much pleasure and delight that I write to you again :-) :-)

As I write to you, I am listening to the song of one of your sons, Nathaniel Bassey. I think I've told you how much I love his worship to you!

In this particular one, he simply says "I will worship you forever, love you forever because.. This God is too good oh"..

The first time I heard this song Daddy, I absolutely fell in love.. The words of the chorus are so simple yet so moving.. Because it speaks the absolute truth. Indeed, You are too Good dear Abba.. You are too Kind, you are too Loving, You are too Merciful, You are too Compassionate, You are too Gracious, You are too Awesome, You are too Powerful..

And we sing that 'too' not in a negative way at all, but an acknowledgement that you give us Your best in excess..

Olowo Ori mi, why won't I worship You forever, serve You forever, praise You forever, love You forever, be loyal to Your government forever? (Twale Baba!).

Glorious King, there comes a time in life when serving and obeying you is no longer just an obligation but borne out of love because You are more than deserving.. You do so much more for us Your children. You blow my mind with how wonderful You are to me. I am eternally grateful.

Thank You for making it obvious time and time again that putting my trust in You is more than worth it. It's not a gamble, it's a certainty that You will always remain Faithful.

With much love and gratitude forever,
Your One xxxxx

It's Been Too Long!

... Yes, we are back!!

*phew* it's been too long. I didn't think it would take so long but it did!! *eyes wide open!*...

Thank God for everything! It has been a great time away to get refreshed (and get a new domain lol)..

I apologise sincerely for the long hiatus and for being largely MIA, without notice too.. To be honest, I didn't get notified either... *Boom* it just happened! :-D

I didn't realise 1 + The One had gone offline until some wonderful people brought it to my attention. I felt I would quickly resolve it and speak to the very lovely and kind guy who had been helping with managing the technical bits of the blog but alas, before we knew what was going on, a simple glitch meant that someone else had poached the previous name and parked his 'kanyan' right there!

Thank God, all things always work out for God's people (can I get an amen? :-) {Romans 8:28}, I had planned to change the domain name of the blog anyway to match with all its social media identities (www.1plustheone.com) so this gave prime opportunity to do so! :-).. The only snag was that it took longer than we thought it would lol..

Again, I say thank God.. It feels good to be back! We are excited to be back.. 1 + The One is back by God's grace... and we ain't going no where *cue music*..

At this point, with most sincere and heartfelt gratitude, I'd like to say a BIG HUGE HUMONGOUS THANK YOU to every one of you lovely people who showed love, sent emails, Facebook messages, Tweets to check in... It meant more than you know.. I am deeply and immensely grateful. Thank You.

May God remember you and send you love and encouragement when you need it the most (and even just to let you know He's ever mindful of you).

As always, our regular series will continue and we will also be throwing in some new stuff by God's grace.. I'm excited.. Hope you are too! :-)

Alright people, let's go!!

PS I have missed Blogsville very much :-)

One xxxxx

First time here? It's great to have you! Thank you so much for stopping by! There's so much to do, so many posts to read :-).. Please feel free, make yourself at home and God bless you immensely!

Also, just before you go, if you haven't connected with us on social media, please do so!

Facebook: www.facebook.com/1plustheone

Twitter: @1plustheone

Instagram: @1plustheone

Also, if you have any question or comment please send us an email too - oneplustheone@gmail.com

Dear Daddy

My dearest Daddy!!!!

King of my Heart, Core of my existence.. My Super Daddy! My Confidence and my Strength, my solid Defence and my Shield.

It's been such a longgg time I've written to You and I am bursting with things to say to You.. You know Your daughter is a chatter-box :-) Thank You for the 'gift' of talking... It's become one of my tools of trade :-) You make us humans so perfectly perfect.. You equip us with EVERYTHING we need for life and living.. What an AWESOME God You are!

Thank You for the past few weeks. Since the last time I wrote to You, a LOT has gone on and even though I know that You are aware of them all, seeing as You are always mindful of us Your children and nothing ever skips your watch, I still would like to acknowledge them and thank You very much for them!

Thank You for the wonderful news I've heard thus far from family and friends - prayers answered, testimonies abounding - Baba God, odikwa too much, three much, infinity much!!

Thank You for the new circle of ladies I have come to fellowship with in the past few days, what an absolute joy it has been! Thank You for kick-starting this and making it a truly special time indeed. You orchestrate the best meetings #MasterPlanner extraordinaire.

Thank You for the life of a lovely friend who we sadly lost this week. Daddy it is difficult thanking You in times like this because sometimes it just doesn't make sense! I can't seem to fathom why she had to go.. But Lord through it all, I choose to thank You for blessing her family and friends with her life, thank You for the time we spent with her, laughed with her and got to fellowship with her. Please Daddy, Balm in Gilead, heal her husband and family's heart, Prince of Peace, let Your peace rule their hearts, let them feel Your love in an indescribable way. Comfort them Daddy, please let them feel You near like never before and receive strength from You for now and the future.

Thank You for every opportunity, every door that You alone could have opened, every thing I can see and cannot see. Thank You that I have hope in You.. What-ever would my life have been if my hope were not in You, my Hope of Glory!

Thank You for the weekend, it's going to be SUPER, FANTASTIC, SPECTACULAR! Not just for me Lord, but please Daddy, make it so for everyone who desires it and much more in Jesus name.

I love You Mighty God. You are ALL-Mighty!!

Always Your little girl (always and always),
One xx


Always Your little One

Conversations with One - It's Over! Can I Have My Gifts Back?

Helloooo everyone and welcome to another edition of Conversations with One!

Right, today's question is brought to you on a light note, however it would surprise you how some people take it quite seriously and how it has posed as quite a dilemma to others.

Well, it was a discussion that started off on a radio show (Morning Crossfire on 99.3 Nigeria Info), when the question was asked about what the etiquette was with regards to gifts after the end of a relationship.

Should you return gifts that were given to you during the course of the relationship now that the end has come?

In my head, the answer was quite straightforward but it was very interesting to hear the different perspectives brought on by people who contributed to the discussion - very passionately so!

Now, when you talk about everyday gifts, that's fine but when we go into more expensive gifts like jewellery, an engagement ring, a car, deeds to a house etc, it becomes quite 'complicated'..

It's... Complicated

So of course, we brought it to the table and the wonderful people who make up the 1 + The One panel shared their own thoughts... Remember, we only kick-start the convo, please join us by telling us what you think in the comment box below...

Would you keep or return gifts after the end of a relationship?

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Ms Pumpkin United: Soo... my bible says the gift and callings of God are without repentance, therefore I think that we should be like our Father innit.. loll except for the engagement ring though ..

Ok on a more serious note, if a gift were given with the intention that we are one already since we are planning to get married eg engagement ring, possession of the title deeds to a house, a car, then it should be returned if the marriage plans have been dissolved and both parties have gone their separate ways. BUT if in a relationship, you buy or get a car or house or some expensive thing as a gift, not because marriage is in view but because "I just love you and want you to have it" (for the guy), exquise me it's mine. Also if in wooing me you decide to go out of your way to spend and buy 'stuffs' for me and I later agree, if the relationship goes awry later on, you shouldn't expect the gifts to be returned.

Sorry it didn't work out, here you go, you can have your gifts back!

Mr NumeroUno: I agree with Ms Mumpkin United.
It depends on the people involved and the level, the sentimental value, and what sort of gift, and the terms of break up. 

Ms PumpkinUnited: I believe the motive behind the gift will also determine the outcome. If it's given with the thought of spending the future together so whatever is yours is mine, then it should be returned but if it's just based on "I love you, you love me so I got you this gift", no strings attached to the gift, then no need for returns. But where a demand is placed on it to be returned, I will simply send it back, no need to down grade my integrity for a 'piece of meat'.
Some other people will also want to return it just so as to ensure complete closure and that they have nothing to remind them of that relationship..

Mr NumeroUno: For me, if it were amicable, certain things could be simply negotiated within rational and logical understanding. If it were a 'dirty' break up, sometimes, it's best to cut your losses, and allow for peace to reign.

I don't expect a lady to retain the engagement ring if
(1) She initiated the break up
(2) Was unfaithful and caught or something like that
(3) The ring is above $1000 in value.

One: Haa.. So engagement rings have got 'levels'.. lol

Return it? But it's Tiffany's!

Mr Numero Uno: Social norms expect that she decently returns the ring. (He then has the liberty to insist you keep it. That should be at his discretion).

At the same time, I don't expect the guy in particular to demand stuff back. but this one you mention property like land, that's deep...

One: Lol @ land being deep. A gift is a gift right?.. Like someone once mentioned, a gift is different from a loan. If you've given ('given' being the keyword here) - no matter how huge it is, should you then be entitled to ask for it to be returned?
Also, don't some people consider it an insult when a gift is returned to them?

NubianPrincess: I chuckled as well at land being a deep gift...
Seriously though... A gift is quite simply a gift... If there were strings attached to it, then it wasn't a gift in the first place!!

One: Thank you! :-D

NubianPrincess: Which one is gift given with the expectation of marriage and gift given out of love?? Hiaannn!!! See categorisation... Well, I personally believe, that if anyone gives me a gift while we're in a relationship, if it doesn't work out, I'm not returning anything... Will he also return the gifts I gave him?? For me to use and do what?? Save for the next boyfriend?? Or sell and get some monetary consolation from the breakup?? Hmmmm!! I even think it's insulting... So if friendships end also, will we start returning things? Maturity has to kick in somewhere now... We're no longer on the playground in primary school "you're no more my friend, give me back my doll"!

One: Tell dem sista! 

NubianPrincess: The only thing that gives me pause is... No not the land, or houses or cars.. LoooL! An engagement ring... And even for this, I think it depends solely on the parties involved... You give an engagement ring (no matter how big or tiny) out of love... You love the person and you want to marry them, here is a physical sign of my love and intentions (One, maybe we should do a convo on "Does the size of my engagement ring signal the size of your love for me??" Hahahahahahaha! iKid iKid... Do I??) Anyways, I digress.... Sometimes, you try returning it and the guy is genuinely hurt because whatever the case may be currently, there was love when the gift was given... So this one, I think play it by ear, if the breakup is amicable, have a conversation about the ring... If it's not amicable however (and this is from a 'prideful' standpoint)... Because I detest insults, I will package the ring plus the box, reenact the proposal scenario sef if possible and return your property to you..

One: Lol @prideful.. Sometimes, one just has to do it for the sake of dignity. I do feel that if the person genuinely cared for you while you were in the relationship, he/she would feel bad or even slighted if you returned the gifts.. It also seems a bit childish or vengeful in a way.. 

LOL.. Doesn't it seem a bit like this?

Mr Motivation: I feel the reason why a gift should be returned in the first place should be for closure, so as not to remind the other person of what could have been, particularly if it ended badly i.e. this includes the engagement ring. On the other hand, I feel that the reason for a break up determines whether or not a gift should be returned. It is only gentlemanly not to ask for what one has given out of love in the first place.

One: How about giving them away if you don't want to be reminded of the person? #JustAsking.. I think I've done this.. I just gave some of the things away..

Mr Motivation: In the case of a land or car, irrespective of the benefit or security it brings, I feel it should be returned even without the person asking. My reason is simple, what will he or she tell their eventual future spouse concerning such gift? Personally, I don't welcome the idea of my wife keeping the land or car her ex bought for her. If he insisted on her keeping, I will rather the land and/or the car be sold and the money used for something else.

One: I like that perspective. I can see how it would be difficult explaining to the new boo why you still have all the gifts from the previous relationship..

Ladies and gentlemen, we've tried as much as possible to share our own candid opinions but we'd like to hear from you! Also, please if you have any, share your real life experiences and how it worked out as well... xxxx

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