What Pretty Woman taught me

A few days back I caught the tail end of one of my favourite movies of all time - Pretty Woman - Don't judge me .

 Source

As I watched, I realised that just like in most things that seem random or trivial in life, there are lessons to be learnt... Even in the book of Proverbs it says that there are one or two things we can learn from ant! (Prov 6:6)

If you've watched Pretty Woman, it makes the post easier, however I believe you would still be able to understand my point even without seeing the movie.. So here goes.

What Pretty Woman taught me:

The Scene

Richard Gere (Edward): "How much more do you want?"
Julia Roberts (Vivian): "I want all"

Abridged Context
This conversation ensued when this stupendously rich man offered a girl he literally picked up from the streets to be his mistress. This meant that she would undoubtedly enjoy the best things in life, have access to as many networks as possible, have his attention whenever he was in town, be treated with respect and almost in awe by people as a result of being associated with him.. Many a girl's dream! AND he was offering it to her on a platter of gold! + She had realised that she had fallen in love with him so having some of his time would be better than nothing right? WRONG!

Lesson learnt
- In life you would always be offered something that looks like, is close to, can almost be like ('almost' being the operative word) what you want, only that it's not actually what you really want but you will manage.. This is not only in relationships, it could be in business, entitlement, prayer point, desire, salary increment, promotion at work etc.
Until you get want you want, don't accept what you're given or what someone believes is the best that should be given to you. You have a choice to determine your worth and what you are willing to settle for.
Often times in life, you get what you accept. And if only you can hold on a little, push for me, determine that you would not compromise, you would be surprised that you can indeed have 'all' by God's grace.

Again and again, don't be happy with 'almost', don't settle for less because you are worth the best and your value is so precious! It may take time, you may lose some but ultimately by God's grace, you can get the best.

And did she get her 'all'? She sure DID!! And you will too by God's grace xx

 Source

Attention! Attention!! Liebster Award coming through

 Source

Thank you thank you thank you to 2 of my favourite bloggers, both of whom I really admire In the midst of Her (Itmoh) and Relentless Builder (RB) ... If you haven't read their blogs, you are missing a real treat! (And trust me, I'm not just saying it).. As you would imagine, it's always nice being nominated (for something good), and then it comes from such exceptional people.. Thanks ladies! *big kiss(es)* 

Oh and questions from both bloggers are the same (great minds aye? *very raised eyebrows)

THE RULES

1. Thank the blogger that nominated you (Inmoh and RB, you guys totally rock! Thank you xx)
2. List 11 random facts about yourself (Now, I am gradually coming out of the closet of anonymity and not allowing the need to be anonymous disturb me from sharing certain things, so yes I will try to be honest.... and random!)
3. Answer the questions by the blogger who nominated you
4. Nominate 11 other bloggers (do I really really have to? - Looking for their links is not eazyy)
5. Ask your nominees 11 questions
6. Notify your nominees

11 Random Facts About 1 + The One

1. I hate chicken skin so I take the skin off my chicken before eating it. This can get pretty messy, especially with stewed chicken... *deep sigh* but it has to be done. (If I am preparing, I do the deed before cooking)

2. Saying that, I loveee chicken! I can eat a whole bucket-full of well cooked, well seasoned (preferably soft and grilled and juicy) chicken *reminiscing and smacking lips in delight*

3. However, my favourite food still remains *drum roll* lasagne!! Hmmmm I lovee that food! I can eat it for days!

4. As you should may have clearly deduced, I love food! Like I get excited at the thought of food. I think it's one of God's many gifts to human beings - the variety!! Lord have mercy :-)

5. Speaking about variety, I believe it is definitely the spice of life! I love doing and trying new things (especially food) + {when I get married} some things between my man and his wifey aka me lol (Just had to throw that in there!)

6. Interestingly, even though I can be very adventurous, it is very relative.. I have been described on some occasion as 'too safe'.. Just like In the midst of her HERE, they didn't have me in mind when they invented theme parks.. Nah ah!

7. Talking about things that come under the file name 'Nah ah', having sex before marriage with my husband is probably somewhere at the top.. I used to kiss before but by God's grace I have stopped *straight face* and want to take it back God's School as I said HERE because I know that for me, that is 'far' in response to the question 'how far is far?' as I asked HERE..

8. Now I don't know if I should say 'I have stopped' because since I wrote that note, I haven't been in a relationship.. BUT, the operative word is 'by God's grace' I no wan do again.. so help me God.. And the people say AMEN!

9. Talking about relationships, the last one I was in, ended in March 2012, I still miss him and I believe a part of me still loves him very much. *God will help me*

10. And still on the year 2012, many things happened that were quite unpleasant but I genuinely thank God for the lessons learnt and for bringing me through so many challenges... Thank you JESUS! I love YOU..

11. JESUS! You know I have to talk about Him.. My continuous first love, my no 1 love. "I'm in love, are you in love?" (thanks D'banj... Like they say on twitter, RT if you get it) hehehe

Answers to Questions from In the midst of her and Relentless Builder

1. Why did you start blogging?

I wanted to document my experiences especially relationship wise + I enjoy writing (hard to believe huh? lol) + I wanted to share and talk because I believe that enough is not being expressed, especially for ladies (I don't know if you get me. You get me?)

2. If you could be any fruit or vegetable, what would you be?

An apple maybe.. Seems to be the most popular fruit 

3. Would you ever consider becoming a vegetarian/vegan?

No, sorry to disappoint, filed under 'nah ah'. I love meat too much as you may have guessed from my randoms above

4. What was/is your favourite subject at school?

English! I loved it so!

5. Are you scared of the dark?

No. Thank God 

6. If you could eat only one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Lasagne with chicken (for protein) lol

7. Favourite movie of all time?

Love and Basketball!!!!!!

8. If you could change your name to anything, what would your new name be?

David (I love that man referred to as being after God's heart)

9. Are you much of an adventurer? I'm talking bungee jumping, mountain climbing and all that jazz.

ILIS (I laugh in Spanish).. Filed under... (you got it right) 'Nah ah!"  

10. What's the greatest thing about being your nationality?

Hmmmm.. Now, I must admit that this is one of the toughest questions so far because right now, I am not feeling particularly patriotic. Maybe that just like Arsenal fans (bleurgh!), it makes you very hopeful.. Your relentless loyalty is strengthened.

11. What do you do to keep fit?

Watch what I eat and walk

**Now, I'm going to be a 'chicken' and say that I nominate everyone that reads this post *wide satisfied grin* and guess what my questions will be? Nah ah, you guessed wrong.. 

My questions are... everything that I was asked above - he.. he... he!

Have a blessed week folks! xx

Dear Daddy

My dearest Daddy,

I want to communicate with You this evening with a song.. And I will crave the permission of my brother Frank Edwards to allow me 'borrow' his lyrics....

Daddy, I don't know, but there's something about the Igbo language that makes singing praises to You so sweeet! Like, the passion is raw.. And I can say that about my own native dialect, Yoruba too.. Then talk about French *oh la la, oui oui* and Spanish *Hola Papa* and Portuguese and Xhosa and Arabic and Mandarin.. Wow!

My darling Daddy mi, just the plethora of languages in this world is a demonstration of how awesome and amazing You are... Because You understand every single one of these languages.. We even have our own exclusive love language *Tongues* - Reboske! :-)

More so, You understand the language of 'no words' when our hearts are so full  of emotion and we do not have words to say. You understand the language of every smile, every sigh, every laughter, every moan of despair, every tear and every beam.. What an AMAZING God You are.

Thank You for understanding me when no one else does. In the words of Kiera Sheard, "You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same... You are AMAZING God".. You see my every weakness, You see my shortcomings, You see my deepest frailty that no one else sees and You choose to love me still. Thank You Jesus!

Please enjoy this song dear Daddy and as the words flow to You, I pray You hear my voice and my heart through it and that You bless Mr Frank Edwards immensely for being such a blessing.

I love You Daddy, always and always.

Your forever girl,
One xx

PS Daddy, please bless every single one of your children who stop by here and make blogging a delight. Make it well with them, grant them their heart's desires and make this weekend pleasantly pleasant for them.




Lyrics with translation (translation in bracket)

Lord you reign
Forever You're the same
Agam aturu gi mmamma

(I will praise You, thank You)
You lifted me, gave a song,
Agama aturu gi mmamma

(I will praise You, thank You)
Okorobia do mma, mmamma ee,

(Handsome young man, *thank You*)
Chi onye nji eme onu, mmamma ee

(The God I am proud of, *thank You)
Nar'ekele, nar'otuto

(Take all praises, take all glory)

So so gi bu chi muooo

(You alone are my God)

Anyi n'aturu gi mmamma

(We are worshipping You)
Odighi agabanwe agbanwe

(He is Unchangeable)
Chukwu ji ike eee

(God has the power)
Onye di nso, nso nso,

(The Holy One, Holy, Holy)
Agam aturu gi mmamma

(I will praise You)
Onye ji ike, ike nine

(The great One, All Powerful)

Agam aturu gi mmamma

(I will praise You)
Okorobia do mma 

(Handsome young man, *thank You*)
Lion of the tribe of Judah mma mma ee
I am that I am mmamma ee
Onye di ka gi mma ee

(Who is like You?)
There is none like you mma ee
Okorobia do mma

RE: I need you help please!

Happy new month all! May it be a month of good news and God's blessings!

So, I was going through my archives and saw a response to an email sent by one of the readers of this blog who I also consider a friend on how to maintain a relationship without sex by God's grace if you had already been sexually active. I posted the email HERE and welcomed your responses to her as she really wanted support. 

Below is an excerpt of the response I sent to her. Just to add that if you are also in this situation or struggling with something similar, God's grace is more than sufficient for you. It's never too late to do the right thing by God (as long as you have breath) xxxx



Hi dear,

First of all, may I just thank you very much for sending this email, I am indeed very humbled - and also may I say well done for the courage and strength it took you to pour out your heart in such a way. 

Honestly, the first step to change or getting a solution is acknowledging there's a problem and then also voicing it out, not keeping quiet and not staying in isolation. I pray that as you typed each word and wrote to me, that the Lord who sees it all will give you an answer Himself and show you the best way out.

I have been meaning to respond to your email but I have just had to take a moment to really think/pray about it ask some of my close friends for advise as well as to answer you in the most appropriate way by God's grace.

So, the situation you're in is one that can be very difficult but nevertheless it is very possible to embrace the best that God wants you to have.

I will go on to the practical things I could suggest but first may I say that the most important thing is finding that peace and mercy from God. Like I said in my last post, He's a God who is willing to give a 2nd, 3rd, 4th.. chance without any form of condemnation or 'I told you so'. 

1. You need to go back to God. You know the way your relationship with God is or how you want it to be. Ask Him for mercy and let Him forgive you and give you peace and grace to do want He wants, how He wants it.

2. If your boyfriend is a Christian like you, you need to have an honest discussion with him. Let Him know that you want to make that decision to do the right thing. Please don't do this in his house/room, your house/room or an intimate place where only both of you are. Choose somewhere public and as much as possible, do it face-to-face. Don't worry if you can't manage a face-to-face meeting, do it somehow. (I pray for God's grace)

3. In order to be real with you, I will have to say that you would most likely have to take a break from that relationship. You need time apart to heal and if at all the relationship is meant to be, let God orchestrate it. Throw yourself at the feet of God. If you continue to see him in that way, the triggers will always open the door for you to keep on going back and repeating what you don't want. 

The truth is that sex is a very enjoyable act. It's lovely, it feels good so our body wants it, likes it and would usually respond to invitations but you and I need discipline to ensure that it is only done in the right context. Let the fear of God inspire discipline in us. Not because we don't naturally want to do it, but because it please God to hold back. Let us be accountable to Him.

My sister, ask God for grace, trust me if you ask sincerely, He would answer. He wants to help you, He really does.

Stay away from the relationship for a period, so as to get back on track again and get strength to recover. What has helped me are things like messages, books, write-ups - I will recommend people like Joyce Meyer, (Late) Pastor Bimbo Odukoya, T.D Jakes.. Read books about sexual purity and abstaining from sex before marriage. Let the word of God and encouragement fill you up during this period.

Occupy your time. Sometimes loneliness makes us do certain things that we would normally not do. Whatever it takes, even if it means enrolling in classes, hanging out more in church, hanging out more with friends, just get busy!

Get good friends! I cannot tell you how much having wonderful godly friends in my life has made such a huge impact on me. Your friends matter a lot. You need to surround yourself with people who will build you up, encourage you to do the right thing, give you sound advice, help you when you fail - to dust you and then tell you to start again and help you along the way. Friends who can hold you accountable so that they can give you that 'warning' when you're treading on dangerous grounds. Friends whom you can confide in (I will be happy to be your blog-friend :-)

I know it may seem like you may not get back with him or that he may leave or that you would not get over him and I definitely appreciate the fact that you love him very much. 5 years is a worthy investment! (wow, well done hun!) BUT, you can have 10years of courtship and have a lifetime of misery in an unpleasant marriage or 7 years of blissful relationship and eternity without peace of mind and without God - there's no comparison at all.

Nothing beats knowing that you have God's full approval. It's worth a temporary heartbreak. God knows how to reward obedience excellently. At this point, I want to share a story of another blogger whom I respect and love and whose story I feel will inspire you by God's grace

http://www.erosinspirations.com/2010/09/god-let-me-show-you-how-to-fulfill-your.html

(You can also read some of her life stories to help)

I could write and write but it's not a one day thing or there's no manual that is the authority on this, asides the Bible.

But I will be very happy to be a buddy during this time and pray along with you for strength and courage to do the right thing.

I am soo proud of you and I can bet that God is prouder!

Lots of love,

One xx

I think I love you

Thanks to everyone that commented on my last post! I am grateful :-) You make blogging even that more interesting for me! + it's given me an opportunity to explore new blogs too! *pa-ram-pam-pam-pa* I'm lovin' it!

PS, how come no guy has commented yet? I would definitely love to hear their views..

So, today I have a question that was asked recently during a ladies' discussion, however it cuts across all sexes. I think I have asked a similar question previously HERE but I would appreciate your thoughts + it could also help someone.


Picture source

1. How do you know when you are in love? (Like what signs or things indicate that you have fallen in, hook, line, sinker, deep, deeper, deepest, and crossed that threshold of love) -

2. In a relationship, who is the most appropriate person to say I love you first? The lady or the man?

Now these were my own responses:

1. It stands the test of time (not fleeting), so after the initial 'excitement' stage, it's still there. You feel comfortable with the person, so you can be yourself (we all know when we are actually being who we really are and with whom).
Of course, let's not forget the butterflies!. The excitement you feel with/around/at the thought of the human being.
Also, wanting to give as well - time/money (that you have and you don't have :-) gifts... Wanting to ensure that they have the best when they are with (or without) you.
Willing to make certain sacrifices (sometimes unconsciously). It just becomes a bit natural to not mind being inconvenienced for their sake - it no longer becomes such a big deal.
However, people are different, so it's important to know yourself and the way you respond/react to things/people.

2. If you feel secure in the relationship, it usually doesn't matter who says it first... However, I prefer the guy saying it before I do lol.
I am a 'go with it' (ardent, unrepentant romantic!) individual. It would be 'itching my mouth' to say it lol. So I would probably take the plunge (Usually, when I'm almost certain where I stand with the guy and in the relationship)

I think I have been in love 3 times ('think' being the operative word). I loved how it made me feel! It is one of the most beautiful things everrrr! lol.. Interestingly, each experience (and age) showed me a new dimension to the meaning of being 'in love'.. Love is more beautiful in maturity and there are lesser incidences of hurt in such instances.

My prayer always is to love my husband with a passionate kinda love, and also with a 'mature' kind of love. The unselfish kind, the one that Christ talks about in the bible. The one that may start with how 'swaggerlicious' I think he looks, the sound of his voice and how it affects the equilibrium of my internal organs and appeals to my 5 senses, but then matures to one that is inspired by my relationship with God and is consistent and loyal in and out of season. I want both the physical and spiritual attraction to him (plus mental and social and financial hehe)

 Picture source

So what are your thoughts? I would love to hear your responses to the questions as well? xxxx

Deal of the day - Buy one engagement ring, get a cook for free!

So the above deal, would be so ideal for my husband.. Before the conclusion fully forms in your mind, please continue reading...

Yesterday, I was chatting with a recently married colleague and she exclaimed at how great she feels cause she finally got a much needed cook at home!

I couldn't but share in her joy and enthusiasm as I know that one of my desires has been to have a cook when I get married.

Usually, when a woman hints that she cannot cook (especially in my African culture), there's almost pandemonium let loose (ok, slight exaggeration).. But honestly, you know that can be a big deal..

Don't get me wrong, I can cook (cross my heart!) but honestly, I think I may possibly enjoy life better if I had someone doing all my cooking for me.

When I used to nurse the thought of employing a cook within first year of marriage, and managed to voice it, I would be quickly hushed and told that it's a woman's role to look after the family and provide food for them.. Like "Even if your husband doesn't mind, what would your in-laws say? Perish the thought and enter that kitchen my friend!" *sigh*..

I have experienced chatting with a guy and the moment I kinda insinuated that it would not be a bad idea to have a cook in my home and I can literally see him counting the change from my bride price.... His eyes can't even mask it! lol

To be honest, I want to be a GREAT wife and mother and I am willing to pay the sacrificial price but speaking honestly, I desire a man who wouldn't mind us having a cook like asap (as in like as we are signing the dotted lines, we are signing his employment contract mehn - of course you know it has to be a he right? haha

So what are your thoughts? Having a cook, to be or not to be?

PS, I have searched high and low, wide and narrow, I am yet to find a verse in the bible that states that women are responsible for cooking and/or that forbids employing cooks.

PPS I promise to effectively manage and monitor the cook, I will even draw up the meal plan - it will be my pleasure! :-)
 xxxx

So you want to be great...

I am yet to meet someone who wants to have an ordinary existence and is happy to just be 'there'. Most people in this world want to be great. We want to be great in all areas - great in our walk with God, great in terms of our marital situation (have a great marriage, be a great spouse, have great children, be great parents!), great financially (wealthy, prosperous, 'large'), great in our areas of profession (be the boss, come up with ideas that are so great, they are patented and you're established for life! {I see you salivating at the thought... I know I am!} Come up with solutions and products that every household will know and hear about)..

I don't think it's hard to understand why, we are created by a GREAT God and we are made in His likeness. I dare say that it's in our DNA to want to achieve, to want to have dominion in our different fields (that was indeed the command that was given to us at the very beginning).

Plus, greatness is wonderful.. Mehn, I long for the day when my wealth is multiplying even while I'm asleep, I am consulted on important global issues before a decision is made, my home is so intact, I keep pinching myself to know it's real, my birthday becomes a globally recognised holiday (ask Mandela how it feels).. It feels great to be GREAT!

One thing I have observed is that there is always a price to pay for greatness.. It doesn't just happen.. (When it 'just happens', it's usually short-lived).

Please read the stories, histories and backgrounds of great men today and you find out that the journey wasn't easy at all. Usually they sufferedddd, they enduredddd, they failed and failed again, they lost here and there, there were times when they actually believed that their dreams will never come through and that at best, they would scrape up to survive another day! There were times when people laughed and scoffed at their 'ridiculous' dreams.

In fact, I dare say that the recipe for greatness is going through 'tough and trying times'.. The sweetest time of greatness is usually the moment you decide to be great or have dreams and visions of greatness (you remember that feeling you had when you thought about that great idea? when you started that blog that should turn into a great book, when you registered as a card-carrying member of a political party as first steps to being the President?). 

What follows is usually not what you bargained for! A lot of work goes into it.. The greater it is, the more work there is..

But the sweetest-est time is when you achieve! By God's grace, against all odds, through patience and perseverance, prison moments and betrayal points... You survive, and having done all, you stand! 

Keep that moment in sight.. You may be going through your dungeon season at the moment.. That dream, that vision may seem far-fetched right now.. Things may look to be going in the total opposite direction of your goal.. Remember Joseph? Think about David, remember Daniel, remember Jesus! Yes, you're in GREAT company.

Don't give up, keep pushing... God has promised that His grace is more than sufficient and that He will not give you more than you can bear.. That thing you're going through right now? It's not greater than you... You can and you will overcome by God's grace.

So you want to be great? Get ready for the journey.. Deeeep but worthwhile!

God's grace xxx

  

 

                                                                 

                                                                  It could be YOU!