Valentine new wahala?

It seems like everyone around me is getting engaged!!

Left, right, front, back... ..

I blame it on Valentine's day, in fact the whole month of February!!

Now people are no longer satisfied with chocolates and flowers on the 14th, oh no! they want you to put a ring on it!! (Actually maybe Beyonce may partially be responsible... that's for all you Beyonce-ogling guys out there hahahaha - evil laugh - now you'll think again before watching THAT video again, serves you right!)

As if the pressure wasn't bad enough! lol I feel sorry for the guys.. Shey it was the amount you spent on gifts you were "fearing" before... Now you will have to save up for that sparkly ring (and it has to be nicer than the one her friend got mind!) and of course the great big day...

So guys do you feel the pressure? And ladies, would you like a valentine's day proposal??

Personally, my verdict is still out on it you know. For one, it would be sooo obvious unless the guy's got extra game and manages to still make it unique regardless of the fact that there's a ripple of "YES!" across the world on the day!

Hmmm....

... NEW POST!! lol

NEW POST! NEW POST!! NEW POST!!!

I know, I know! It's a looooooong time coming!

Happy New Year and everything in - between!

Oh my goodness I've missed blogging/blogville/everything blogified!

I'm always glad to be back..

I don't know why I am so lazy when it comes to blogging!

If only I were confident (not to mention technical savvy hehe) enough to do audio posts seeing as I like to talk soo much!

I'm guessing that then I would be regular enough lol...

I must mention here that you guys are tres amazing!! Your encouraging comments put the much needed grease on my elbow to come back! Merci beaucoup ma cherie(s)!! :-)

So much has already happened this New Year!

With respect to that, I would just like to say that please appreciate everyone that you love, don't wait for "tomorrow" to show them how much you care.. Remember tomorrow is not promised to anyone, we can only hope and pray for it... Do something nice for them TODAY!! Especially that thing you've been meaning to do.. "I don't have time" is not a good enough excuse.. Don't wait to have to forcefully look for that time...

My simple message to you is that God has blessed us with such wonderful (and not so wonderful :-) people around us, let's show them just how much we appreciate and love them back!

I love you all!! (Forgive/permit me, I'm feeling quite emotional!)

More importantly I hope you fully understand how loved you are by God... He loves you, He truly truly does!

PS - Someone once said that women are very random, meaning we jump from one train of thought to another... Is that true?.. Actually judging from this post and many others I would have to kinda concur lol!

Peace, love and joy in Jesus...

One

xxxx

Fronting... To be or not to be?

SILLY POST!! :-)

…So it would be good to first and foremost understand the concept of “fronting”. Fronting otherwise referred to as “forming” is a situation whereby an individual (most usually but not exclusively of the female specie) feels it necessary to act uninterested in a guy that she is (most often) interested in, in order to appear coy/shy/demure/innocent/unmoved by the said attention. In addition individuals arguably use this technique to make the interested party even more interested (!) or as a technique to “up” their individual value hence not being regarded as cheap.

A lot of girls would admit to having used this technique in the past, present or future. I myself have been known to be amongst the guilty (although that is still debatable). You see, ladies especially from my part of the world are encouraged to allow the man do the “chasing”. Doing things otherwise, people used to say (well some still say) is a shameless act of desperation! “Oh let him sweat before you agree to even give him your name” “make him wait, he would value you more”.

I know some individuals have perfected the art of fronting. Even if they are dying under with “love” for the interested party, they would absolutely refuse to show it but rather remain aloof to keep the poor person in suspense. Some see it as a power trip – whoever caves in first, loses! I know some people wait for the other to say “I miss you” “I love you” first so they don’t appear too keen and also to re-affirm their position as having the upper hand in a relationship.

I don’t mean to sound too harsh because indeed not all cases are extreme and negative. But sometimes I’m confused on what to think. What’s the real deal? Is it better to play the hard-to-get game or plunge straight in and be honest from the get? Does fronting equate to being dishonest, and is that not bad for a starting (is that a word? Lol) relationship? Also, it’s of concern to me that some people have abused the innocent and clean art of fronting that even when you are ABSOLUTELY NOT interested in the guy/girl, he/she is thinking “oh she’s just fronting/playing hard to get!”.. Oh I have quite a number of stories to that end. Sometimes such people would not go away except by praying and fasting! Is it not funny that it’s usually the ones that you really would NOT have anything to do with who stay the longest??

There’s the story of this guy who used to live close to me a while back whom I first met in church and all. We became friends but then he wanted more than that to which I refused. But this guy p.e.r.s.i.s.t.e.d! In return, I kept constant in saying no, but I guess he was thinking “just wait a few more weeks, she would come round”. Well this one didn’t quite “come round” oo. So after some time and I thought he had (almost) forgotten about going into a relationship, he said he wanted to talk to me. When we got talking, he said “see, I don’t like the way this relationship is going. We don’t spend time together etc etc” In my mind I was like “You what?? Are you having a laugh mate?” I didn’t know whether to laugh or be angry or just stare at him in amazement. Needless to say, I was (very) speechless!! So you see, moral of the story - you can actually be in a relationship with someone and not have a clue about it! lol

Because...

Hiya,

I saw this lovely post by T.D Jakes. I'm guessing that many people might have seen this (which is good enough) but for those who haven't or for anyone who needs a little reminding, here goes!

"BECAUSE" by TD Jakes

Just because no one has been fortunate enough to realize
what a gold mine you are,
Doesn't mean you shine any less.

Just because no one has been smart enough to figure out
that you can't be topped,
Doesn't stop you from being the best.

Just because no one has come along to share your life,
Doesn't mean that day isn't coming.

Just because no one has made this race worthwhile,
Doesn't give you permission to stop running.

Just because no one has realized how much of an
awesome woman you are,
Doesn't mean they can affect your femininity.

Just because no one has shown up who can love you on your level, Doesn't mean you have to sink to theirs.

Just because you deserve the very best there is,
Doesn't mean that life is always fair.

Just because God is still preparing your king,
Doesn't mean that you're not already a Queen.

Just because your situation doesn't seem to be progressing right now, Doesn't mean you need to change a thing.

Keep shining, keep running, Keep hoping, and keep praying,
Keep being exactly what you are already. COMPLETE!!

Get it Right!

New Post, New Post!! (Big Grin)

I'm always glad to come back to blog on here although it's becoming increasingly difficult. i woud like to share a bit of myself here (I guess that's part of what blogging is about - opening up and sharing with people your thoughts and brain child).

There's a saying I heard/read once that I really like and that is "A foolish man learns from his own mistakes and a wise man learns from the mistakes of others". I remember when I read that, I thought to myself "yeah, that makes sense and I definitely one to be the wise one" hence I made up my mind to try as much as possible to watch carefully and learn from others who have gone through stuff that I may be able to avoid such. On the other hand, another popular saying goes "experience is the best teacher" ergo, sometimes the best way to know what it feels like or to learn a lesson is to have a taste of it - you never know what heat is until you go near or touch fire.

For me, both sayings are quite apt, my life is a combination of both; in some cases, I have seen things happen to people or people do stuff in certain ways with bad or good results and I have either avoided or embraced it while in other cases, I have had to go through some things for me to fully appreciate it.

So enough with the philosophy, what exactly is my point.. Well, I hope in the next couple of posts to share a bit of my relationship story (s). You see one thing I have realised is that as a young Christian lady, it is sometimes so difficult to have a "Christian" relationship in today's world and in many cases, you compromise - either in a "big" way or in a "minor" way. For many people, our desire is to do it God's way, but time and time again even the best of Christians miss it and it's only after it doesn't work out that you think to yourself "What was I thinking???"

You see, relationships are a big part of our formative years and life is very much defined by it.. I'm not talking only in terms of romantic relationships but platonic and familial as well. So many people have been damaged by wrong relationships and inversely, so many people have been rescued and nurtured by the right relationships and associations. My prayer for you is that you would realise what the right kind for you is and embrace it, in order to be that which God has made you and called you to be.

I would continue in the next post and start from the beginning :-)

For now, I hope you know that the best relationship is the one with the One.. Jesus makes it all worth it and only Him can complete anyone.... I leave you with this beautiful song and wish you a most beautiful weekend.

God bless you xx

Conversations

My darling daddy,

How are you? My love, my joy, my peace, the glory and the lifter of my head..

I am just so thankful to you for all of the ways that you have shown me grace and favour.

It's good to have a father like you. I know I can talk to you about anything and everything and you will understand like no one else would.

Daddy I'm a bit confused, please make things clear and please give me the strength to make the right decision. I want to just hide in the shadow of your wings.

Everyday I am reminded of your profound love for me. I know that you hold me in such high esteem, I know that I am so precious to you. Perhaps if only we all knew just how precious we were to you!

But sometimes we forget daddy, and sometimes like the prodigal son it takes eating with swine to wake up and realise that in your palace, we are kings and queens.

Thank you for everything daddy.

Love you always,

One

Ladies!

..So I was thinking to myself, "when I get back to blogville, what would I like the theme of my blog to be" cause I don't want to write pointlessly, that would surely be a waste of my time. I have always wanted to be an inspiration, especially to young ladies (I don't know why) but I've always had a heart for young ladies like myself, and sort of considered it my "ministry".

My desire is to see more young ladies step out for God, ladies who would value themselves and have a solid cast-iron self-esteem that no one would be able to rubbish. One area that I know is very peculiar to many young ladies is the big "R" word; RELATIONSHIPS. Hence the reason why this blog dwells heavily (and more) on it. My desire is to see young ladies in more fulfilling relationships, to be treated with love and respect and handled delicately by whomever they have entrusted their hearts to.

My passion is ladies! I'm not a feminist, not at all. Neither am I a male-basher. But I recognise the special qualities that God has blessed women with. You better believe it, God loves women (specially)!

I hope to talk about a wide range of issues that are important to young ladies, using personal experiences sometimes to buttress a topic and generally facilitate a forum that women would feel free to express themselves, learn from one another and be inspired.

May God help me! xx

For those in a relationship/married (or not), I dedicate this song to you!

Countdown

Like the Terminator,

"I'll be back" :-)

10 Secrets to a happy Marriage/Relationship

Hiya I'm Backkkkk!!! lol... I really need to be cautioned by the "Blog Police"...
I have just been too lazy/busy/occupied to blog in the past few days + personal drama (s).. But hopefully this time I am back-ish.. I remember my note that stated that I would blog so much, Naija bloggers award would have no choice but to give (dash) me all the awards available... Now I guess the only award I would be eligible for would be... "Oh please get off blogger and get a life" award.. I can imagine my total joy (surprise/shock/pain/betrayal and everything in-between) that I would be feeling lol.. I would have to think of a good speech for that one.. That should keep me sufficiently busy for the next few days (hehe, I already have a good excuse if I don't blog soon-ish)
Anyways, how have you good people of blogville been? I have missed you all, from the witty to the inspirational to the feminists, to the good-natured rants to the tales of motherhood to the gossips (information) .. I haven't even had enough time to go blog-trotting, it is well, I shall repent of my deviant ways and reform my character :-)

So I have been reading a LOT lately and I just have to recommend these authors - Francine Rivers (I think I may have mentioned her before but just in case...) and Karen Kingsbury.. These women are just phenomenal! Trust me on this one, you would not be the same after reading their books... they weave real issues such as relationships etc etc into such wonderful fiction, you wouldn't be able to put the book down.. what's more, they do it from a christian point of view that sorts of put the icing on your cake :-). Don't be deceived, it's christian but there's nothing religious or methodic (is that a word?? well we must start using it someday right?:-)

For those who are particularly interested in relationships (as I am) I got this lovely secrets from Karen Kingsbury's book.. It's "10 Secrets to a happy marriage" but I have decided to add "to a successful relationship" as well for it helps whether you are in marriage or in a romantic/platonic relationship.. It was so brilliant I just had to share with you beautiful people..

....And if like me you want to write it up boldly and stick it up your bedroom wall, where you can wake up to reading it each day and see it before you retire for the night so you can even dream about it then please by all means do so!
More importantly, please make an effort to actually practice it and not just read it, at first it may be difficult but I'm sure in the end it would be well worth it!!

1. God has you here to serve one another. Love acted out is serving.

2. Women need respect and nurturing. Love your wife so she knows you'd lay your life down for her. Share a hobby - find something you can do to have fun together. Continue to date her and admire her.

3. Laugh often.

4. Be patient. Love crumbles under the weight of unmet expectations.

5. Spend more time trying to fix yourself than your spouse.

6. Keep short accounts. The bible says "Do not let the sun go down while you are angry. Make it a habit to forgive.

7. Determine upfront that divorce is not an option.

8. Learn about love languages. Not all people show love or receive it the same way. You want a back rub and your spouse wants a clean kitchen. The love languages are fairly simple: Acts of Service, Quality time, Physical Touch, Gifts and Words of Affirmation.. Learn them. Love is better received when it is in the language that person speaks.

9. Words of affirmation are a love language for ALL men.

10. Men are born to be leaders. He cannot lead unless she gives him the confidence to do so. If you love your husband, build him up. Confident men do not seek love outside the home.

PS I was actually trying to see which one of them was my favourite and to be honest I couldn't quite decide, they are all soo true!

PPS I think EVERYONE should read the book "THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES" by Gary Chapman. Simply put, you will be amazed and the way you relate with people would change :-) (and no Gary Chapman did not pay me for the advert lol)

PPPS I listened to Verastic's blog radio for the first time this afternoon and I just want to say Congratulations girl, you're definitely a star!

My Dear Daddy 2

My dear daddy,

How are you my first love? I missed writing to you last week and I'm sorry. I was soo tired out from all that happened that day, I really wanted to write to you but I was really exhausted. I know that you understand 'cause all through the day I could feel you so close through the immense success of the day. I smile with joy and I'm so proud that I have such a great father, daddy you make me GLAD!

My strength, my joy, my peace, the one that completes me, I want to thank you for the past week (well 2 weeks as it were, as I did not get the opportunity to say so last week). I don't really know what to say or rather where to start from....

I will just say one specific thing that made me think during the past week.. I thank you for Mr E's birthday last week. Remember how it used to be with him early last year, I asked and begged you for strength to get over him and still be able to live through it :-) He is a good man but wasn't the good man for me. As I wished him happy birthday, I smiled as I realised that I can talk to him now with my emotions intact and not all over the place :-) Thank you for allowing us to still be friends and more so for all the lessons that that period taught me!

Thank you for giving me back my self-esteem and self-worth, thank you for teaching me how to love and appreciate myself. Thank you for allowing me to make mistakes that I boasted "was beyond me" but then realised that anyone can be gullible by their own strength but you give grace to do all things.

Thank you that you made it easy for me to forgive and forget the past including myself, so I did not wallow in self pity and self condemnation but rather used the experience to be in a better position to love, understand and talk to people who are going trough similar situations.

Thank you for Mr E, he is my very good friend and I am glad I met him.

Thank you for wonderful and amazing friends! Oh daddy, the friends you have blessed me with are toooo much, please bless them extra special this week... thank you :-)

Tomorrow is father's day and even as the world celebrates fathers all over, I would like to say an early HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to the best daddy in the whole wide universe.

I love you always daddy.

Me,
Oneplustheone
xxxx

PS Daddy can you please let Pink -Satin experience the joy of going to church as much as I do? She said she wishes she gets excited about it like I do. Please daddy, let her see that side of you so that she can also LOVEEE going to church like me and David (who said he was glad when they said unto him, "let us go into the house of the Lord). Thank you daddy :-)