10 Secrets to a happy Marriage/Relationship

Hiya I'm Backkkkk!!! lol... I really need to be cautioned by the "Blog Police"...
I have just been too lazy/busy/occupied to blog in the past few days + personal drama (s).. But hopefully this time I am back-ish.. I remember my note that stated that I would blog so much, Naija bloggers award would have no choice but to give (dash) me all the awards available... Now I guess the only award I would be eligible for would be... "Oh please get off blogger and get a life" award.. I can imagine my total joy (surprise/shock/pain/betrayal and everything in-between) that I would be feeling lol.. I would have to think of a good speech for that one.. That should keep me sufficiently busy for the next few days (hehe, I already have a good excuse if I don't blog soon-ish)
Anyways, how have you good people of blogville been? I have missed you all, from the witty to the inspirational to the feminists, to the good-natured rants to the tales of motherhood to the gossips (information) .. I haven't even had enough time to go blog-trotting, it is well, I shall repent of my deviant ways and reform my character :-)

So I have been reading a LOT lately and I just have to recommend these authors - Francine Rivers (I think I may have mentioned her before but just in case...) and Karen Kingsbury.. These women are just phenomenal! Trust me on this one, you would not be the same after reading their books... they weave real issues such as relationships etc etc into such wonderful fiction, you wouldn't be able to put the book down.. what's more, they do it from a christian point of view that sorts of put the icing on your cake :-). Don't be deceived, it's christian but there's nothing religious or methodic (is that a word?? well we must start using it someday right?:-)

For those who are particularly interested in relationships (as I am) I got this lovely secrets from Karen Kingsbury's book.. It's "10 Secrets to a happy marriage" but I have decided to add "to a successful relationship" as well for it helps whether you are in marriage or in a romantic/platonic relationship.. It was so brilliant I just had to share with you beautiful people..

....And if like me you want to write it up boldly and stick it up your bedroom wall, where you can wake up to reading it each day and see it before you retire for the night so you can even dream about it then please by all means do so!
More importantly, please make an effort to actually practice it and not just read it, at first it may be difficult but I'm sure in the end it would be well worth it!!

1. God has you here to serve one another. Love acted out is serving.

2. Women need respect and nurturing. Love your wife so she knows you'd lay your life down for her. Share a hobby - find something you can do to have fun together. Continue to date her and admire her.

3. Laugh often.

4. Be patient. Love crumbles under the weight of unmet expectations.

5. Spend more time trying to fix yourself than your spouse.

6. Keep short accounts. The bible says "Do not let the sun go down while you are angry. Make it a habit to forgive.

7. Determine upfront that divorce is not an option.

8. Learn about love languages. Not all people show love or receive it the same way. You want a back rub and your spouse wants a clean kitchen. The love languages are fairly simple: Acts of Service, Quality time, Physical Touch, Gifts and Words of Affirmation.. Learn them. Love is better received when it is in the language that person speaks.

9. Words of affirmation are a love language for ALL men.

10. Men are born to be leaders. He cannot lead unless she gives him the confidence to do so. If you love your husband, build him up. Confident men do not seek love outside the home.

PS I was actually trying to see which one of them was my favourite and to be honest I couldn't quite decide, they are all soo true!

PPS I think EVERYONE should read the book "THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES" by Gary Chapman. Simply put, you will be amazed and the way you relate with people would change :-) (and no Gary Chapman did not pay me for the advert lol)

PPPS I listened to Verastic's blog radio for the first time this afternoon and I just want to say Congratulations girl, you're definitely a star!

My Dear Daddy 2

My dear daddy,

How are you my first love? I missed writing to you last week and I'm sorry. I was soo tired out from all that happened that day, I really wanted to write to you but I was really exhausted. I know that you understand 'cause all through the day I could feel you so close through the immense success of the day. I smile with joy and I'm so proud that I have such a great father, daddy you make me GLAD!

My strength, my joy, my peace, the one that completes me, I want to thank you for the past week (well 2 weeks as it were, as I did not get the opportunity to say so last week). I don't really know what to say or rather where to start from....

I will just say one specific thing that made me think during the past week.. I thank you for Mr E's birthday last week. Remember how it used to be with him early last year, I asked and begged you for strength to get over him and still be able to live through it :-) He is a good man but wasn't the good man for me. As I wished him happy birthday, I smiled as I realised that I can talk to him now with my emotions intact and not all over the place :-) Thank you for allowing us to still be friends and more so for all the lessons that that period taught me!

Thank you for giving me back my self-esteem and self-worth, thank you for teaching me how to love and appreciate myself. Thank you for allowing me to make mistakes that I boasted "was beyond me" but then realised that anyone can be gullible by their own strength but you give grace to do all things.

Thank you that you made it easy for me to forgive and forget the past including myself, so I did not wallow in self pity and self condemnation but rather used the experience to be in a better position to love, understand and talk to people who are going trough similar situations.

Thank you for Mr E, he is my very good friend and I am glad I met him.

Thank you for wonderful and amazing friends! Oh daddy, the friends you have blessed me with are toooo much, please bless them extra special this week... thank you :-)

Tomorrow is father's day and even as the world celebrates fathers all over, I would like to say an early HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to the best daddy in the whole wide universe.

I love you always daddy.

Me,
Oneplustheone
xxxx

PS Daddy can you please let Pink -Satin experience the joy of going to church as much as I do? She said she wishes she gets excited about it like I do. Please daddy, let her see that side of you so that she can also LOVEEE going to church like me and David (who said he was glad when they said unto him, "let us go into the house of the Lord). Thank you daddy :-)

Family Post: MUM 101

When I grow up, I want to be like my mum...

Yes, I want to be like one of the greatest women I know...

I want to love God as much as she does.. Honestly, she is a role model for honour and respect to her daddy.

I want to be full of love and loyalty like her... Growing up with my mum was such a delight, she made us (me and my siblings) aware that she loved us VERY much. Even though there were times when I could have sworn that she must have adopted me especially when she disciplined us silly (trust me, my mother did not understand how to spare the rod) yet, she would draw us close just afterwards and explain why she "had" to do what she did.

I want to be fuelled by passion for my dreams and aspirations like her...I know passion is embedded in the DNA of women, nevertheless permit me to say that my mum's is worthy of mention. When she believes in something she would not hesitate or be shy to go after it. My mum is a fierce activist, not afraid to STAND for what she believes in..

I want to be as intelligent, hardworking and clever as her.... She comes top of her class (whether in school, church or playground lol). I remember once going to her office and one of her bosses was like "you should be proud of her, she is so clever" and I beamed in my little heart, with my little self thinking "WOW, go mum!" :-)

I want to be as creative as she is.. She made growing up sooooo much fun, my goodness "Oh why don't we do it a bit differently this time" "If you do all your chores in time, we would go for lunch at xyz"

I want to be as beautiful as she is... Beautiful nice skin, nice legs, nice smile, great dress sense.. I hope I look like (better lol) you at your age. People say to me "Oh she looks more like your sister" (I smile in Spanish)

.....I am not writing this to flatter or boast or... rather I know that family values are being lost again and again in today's world so my quota to today's world (lol) is to make Friday "Family Post".. I hope to extol the virtues of members of the (my) family and take out time to "count" their worth in order to appreciate them even though sometimes they make us want to pull our hair out hehe (I'm sure you understand...)

I'm sure if you think of it, your post would be (ok, maybe not :-) longer than mine....

God bless xx

He'll do it again!

Hey,

Sometimes, you feel so down and so low, you just need an uplifting...

Sometimes everything seems to be falling apart all at once and you just wish someone would come and rescue you from it all..

Sometimes all hope seems to have gone, nowhere to turn, no one really seems to understand..

Sometimes it seems like the troubles don't want to go away and there really isn't any help in sight....

Sometimes you have prayed and praised and done all the "good" things, yet nothing seems to be happening...

Sometimes even your loved ones are no where to be found and even the one you hold dearest can't be there for you...

Sometimes you wish the smiles that others see are really true and not the deep cry that goes on inside...

Sometimes you just want to give it all up...

....I heard this song again recently and for some reason it spoke to me so so deeply...

"Just take a look at where you've been and where you are now.."

"Hasn't He always come through for you

"He'll do it again....."

I pray that for you, you will laugh again, you will dance again, you will have hope again, you will believe in yourself again, you will dust yourself up and try again.....

Honey, things will work out again; you definitely may not know how and you may not even know when but be assured He WILL do it again!

God bless xx

My Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy,

I love you and I want you to know that I do. I know you can see that I love you but I wish I could express it better. How are you today? I know that sometimes I get caught up in my own state that I forget to enquire about you. Sometimes, it's even because I don't think you need me to ask for I know that you are always good. Nevertheless, today I want to take the opportunity to ask "Daddy hope you are alright and the throne is comfortable".

You have taught me that the best way to start conversations with you is to exalt your name and person with words of praise and adoration. So, this is for you my King, my Love, the owner of heaven and earth, the ancient of days, always constant and never changing, the one to whom all power in heaven and on earth belongs to, my healer, my provider, my dearest and best friend, my faithful father. I take immense pleasure in adoring you.

Daddy, I have noticed that my fellow blogging brothers and sisters have decided to take out a day of the week to say "thank you".. they call it different titles "Thankful Mondays", "Thankful Posts" "I Give Thanks Today". Whenever I read these posts, I am reminded of your goodness to us all and although I may not have listed them in the past, I definitely appreciate every one of them and say a big "THANK YOU". You know I can be a "copy-cat" especially when it comes to doing things for you, so I have made up my mind that I shall copy these thankful posts too.. I know that a thankful heart always receives more, so I would not allow my "more" to pass me by. Besides dad, I do it because I love you and I want to make you smile.

I will do mine a bit differently though, I will write you a weekly letter to gist with you in addition to saying thank you (you know I love your attention :-) and here's my first one. I really hope I would be able to keep up to date with them, you know me and my procrastination, I need your help in that area (pretty please with Jesus on it :-)

Thank you for the lovely weather that we have had in the past week, oh it was soo lovely and soo hot, I actually longed for a bit of cold! Alas the cold came just when I shaved my legs ready for my shorts. I guess maybe you didn't want me exposing too much leg lol (but I promise it wasn't too short and I was going to the beach too). Can you please make the sun come back before the hair grows back? Thank you :-)

Then how can I forget what happened on Thursday.. I remember waking up thinking "let this pass over too" but then I remembered the chorus of the song I heard just the day before "you may not know how, you may not know when but He would do it again" and then I became encouraged and everything seemed like it was going to be alright in the end and yes it was (I smile at thought), thank you soo much, you are too much!

Wow, Daddy I have only mentioned 2 things and I have written so long! Let me just say this, I thank you for Monday (the honour bestowed), Tuesday, Wednesday (the lady that came and the meeting), Thursday (making something out of nothing), Friday(oh, Friday was too much! I was, and still am overwhelmed), for today (even in the rain... wow) and tomorrow (with you, I know it's going to be alright!)

I can't wait to be in church tomorrow, just like David... "I was glad when they said unto me, let us go into the house of the Lord" and it's thanksgiving Sunday too, yipeeee!!!! (praises, dance and food hehe)...

I love you dad, you mean the world to mean...

Me,

Oneplustheone xxxx

Memoirs of an ageing Young-y

I have blogged so many times in my head... If only there was ever such a thing as "mental" blogging... fantastica! As I go about my day I see or notice something that I think "Oh I definately need to blog about that" Infact, I already start with the intro and all but sadly that's where it all ends...

Unfortunately this is true about some ideas/dreams that we have - They start and end in our minds.. ...
If only we could buy and sell/trade/engage in business/write novels/talk to that person/say I'm sorry/say I Love you, in and through our minds.. How wonderful would that be!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My body feels as though it has been dragged through a grinding mill, why? well beacuse I jumped and threw my hands in the air -a la concert style- for all of about 30mins yesterday... I was saying to my friends, "Oh my, I think I'm getting old! (or maybe just plain unfit)" In the past, I was usually called to be at the fore-front of such craziness and I gleefully led such (excruciating) aerobics display but this time 'round, a younger (and more fit/lithe/slim) individual was asked to lead the jumping and flaying of hands!

I didn't feel bad/neglected about it but it made me realise a few home-truths:

1. There's always going to be a younger person
2. I would not be young forever
3. Enjoy your glory days for no matter how much you think they would last forever something always happens - AGE, that's what! (Ask Elizabeth Taylor {sadly, I even had to google her to remember her last name})
4. Achieve as much as you can today, tomorrow do even more and next week, break all past personal records.

This is not to scare, frighten or make you hate growing up, rather I hope it makes you appreciate today more, the drive, energy and strength you have at each stage of your life.. for it's there for a purpose - to be used in the measure it's been given. As a youngster remember to dance hard, play hard, laugh hard, work hard, pray hard, serve God hard, pursue and work towards your dream hard... In doing that, you lay for yourself a foundation to ensure that there wouldn't be room for regrets and "what ifs" later in life... Enjoy every moment and stage as it ought to be..

So that when you are 60 and you see a teenager dancing like there's no tomorrow, you would only smile and say.. "allow him/her it's their time, I remember when I was his/her age.." without any bitterness or grudge...

So that when you are 75, you can proudly look back on your achievements and fruits of your hard work.

So that when you are 90 you can be celebrated by the world and the youngsters strive to display their energy before you (Ask Nelson Mandela {I didn't have to google him :-)

God bless xx

Daddy's Angry Again

Daddy's angry again.
He's shouting and screaming
Using bad words
I didn't do anything
No, nothing major
I only asked for money for fees
He hates when I come with these requests
They seem to get to him so
Not that he doesn't love me
No, no he does
So very much
Then why is he so upset at me?
I didn't impose the fees
If I had my way there wouldn't be any
Maybe I should keep quiet
But then I would be kicked out of school
Then he would be MADDDD
Maybe I should wait longer
But then it would leave him less time to source for the money
He would still be MADD
.......
Why did we become poor?
Daddy is a good man
Hardworking and honest
Loyal and faithful
Loves and obeys God
Why did things become so tough
Why is he angry at the mention of money?
When would we be rich again?
When would money not be a problem?
Why is the world so unfair?

But like Psalm 126 v 5-6
I will wait
I have to wait
I can only wait

(For all those in the "waiting" period - whatever it may be, marriage, money, child, success, school, health - God will surely come through for you, He hasn't forgotten you. Although it seems as if the wait would never end.. remember "even if your father and your mother forsake you He would not leave you" (Psalm 91v10) Hold on, hold on, hold on.... Don't be discouraged He loves you more than you know. After crying all night, your joy would come in the morning...

If nothing else, remember: God loves you sooooo much!

Something (NOT) for the Examination Hall

Hiya!

Well, since I am not quite able to put up a post, I thought I might as well leave for you good people of blogville something to laugh about. In honour of the fact that a lot of people are in the middle of exams/assessments/courseworks, here are some recommendations for "What to do in an exam hall if you don't know any answer to the questions asked" culled from this facebook group

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?profile=1&id=285000573#/group.php?gid=2249470023

Disclaimer* Please do not try this at home... If you do, you will have only yourself to blame! lol

ENJOY!

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Be as vulgar as possible during the exam, make sure every sentence has every other word as a swear word or some sexual innuendo for example.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

25. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

26. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

28. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

29. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

30. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

31. Fake an orgasm. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #__ moved you, deeply

32. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

33. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!"

34. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc. . . sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

35. In the middle of the exam stand up and yell 'they’re coming for me!' and run out.

......And my advice?? If you don't know any of the answers to the questions, please bend your head low and pray like your life depended on it.. (Well that may actually well be the case hehe)

God bless xx

Allow me to Introduce (2).....

In the spirit of introducing and also supporting the wonderful bloggers that are BSNC and Miss FlyHigh, here's the hottest thing to hit blogville *drum-roll please*

http://touring-our-minds.blogspot.com/

It's a new blog recently launched by a trio of beautiful and articualate ladies MissFlyHigh, Brown Skin Naija Chic aka BSNC and Bibi..

It's only just started and has an audio welcome/introduction post but judging from the team's individual blogs, you are in for a treat!

Check it out/include in your blogroll and "firsssssst" it as much as possible lol

Good job ladies!

God bless xx

Allow Me To Introduce......

Hiya!!

I was just going through some of my group pages on facebook (yeah I do that :-) when I saw a link that led me to, and introduced me to this lovely lovely Nigerian singer... I can't believe I am just hearing about her and hearing the song.. I'm sure many people have already heard the song but it's new to me and I am sooo loving it..

Allow me to introduce (or re-introduce as the case may be) this beautiful, immensely talented, lively, spirited young lady, from the blessed country that is Nigeria in the coast of West Africa...*drum-roll please* JAHDIEL!

Like I said, I don't really know a lot about her, only what I see from her music videos (lame, I know) but she has such a likeable personality :-)... I would definitely look out for her and bring you more info if I get any.. (I know, I know and you are welcome :-)

I have only been opportuned to listen to 2 of this songstress/minister's songs and they are Heritage and Eloheeka. The former is my favourite of the two but I assure you that they are both worth a listen.... As usual, when I "discover" a new song, it goes on repeat on my laptop....((I play and play until I wear myself out with it, hehe)

Her voice is sonorous and the rhythm infectious... very easy to love.. If you liked "wellu wellu" from Sammie Okposo or "Woekilemo" by Asu Ekiye you would fall in love with Heritage. If your taste is more upbeat/soft rock a la RoofTop MCs then Eloheeka would be your thing.

I will try to upload the video (I need lessons!) but if not, listen to Heritage HERE and Eloheeka http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBy_rTJ5ac0






p.s Oh wow... My very first blog miracle!! I learnt how to put a video up and it's really as easy as ABC (Ignorance truly is a disease...:-)

God bless xx