One + The One

Warning, Excess Luggage!

2012-02-02T23:05:00.001Z

Mehn I need some baggage detox!

One very important thing I am learning in my new 'journey' is that each one of us bring with us into new relationships our own baggage. Some resolved, others unresolved yet still baggage.

Having lived a considerable amount of time on this earth, I have had my fair share of experience and so has the Mr (let's call him 'my love'). I realise that our characters and attitudes are moulded and shaped after the things we have been through, our backgrounds, the people we have met along the way of life and of course our faith and relationship with God. More importantly, many of these things are things that we allow to come along with us as we move forward. And we all know that every successful relationship, should consist only of 1+1 + The One aka God (Eventually, all things working out, 1+1 will = 1).

I am discovering that a lot of times, I relate with my love based on some of the things I have experienced in my past - relationship-wise. The thing is I never imagined that any of these things were lurking in my memory bank only to reappear again now.

This is the reason why when someone has been hurt many times in the past, they find it difficult to trust a new person even if he/she is the best person on this earth. We hear things like "I've been hurt before, I'm only trying to protect myself"..
When you've been used to a certain pattern, you either conform and be the same way or rebel in a new relationship and ensure that you do the exact opposite.. Either way, your experience is having a direct or indirect effect on the way you relate to your significant other.

For me, there are a few things that I notice that I am afraid of them repeating themselves in this relationship that I am sometimes over-wary and too careful with my love and the effect is not very pleasant for him and for my peace of mind! I am learning and praying to manage it properly and get to relate with him on virgin territory and not interpret some actions as similar to what person A or person B did..

Oh, to have the same frame of mind as the days of my first love when it was the purest and most innocent love-affair. I had nothing to worry about because then, I had never suffered a heart-break so relationships were black and white to me, I had not heard the stories of my girlfriends who had suffered terribly in the hands of undeserving men.. I did not know or understand what it meant to feel insecure as in my little innocent heart, I was ALL his and he was ALL mine and no one had ever given me reason to doubt or snoop around etc.. In essence, I was coming as I was, no Person A's experience + Person B's effect, just me, myself and I.

In this step to letting go of this baggage, I will be reflecting in the next few posts the things that I have learnt from past relationship experiences and hopefully as I do so, I will pick up the bits and pieces that still affect my now and bin them forever and ever (So help me God!)

xxxx

Everyone desires a GREAT man.... But can you handle him?!

2012-01-28T16:06:00.000Z

Hiya!

Saturday is usually not a blog-day as I have noticed that there are less activities on the internet social scene on Saturdays.. People are too busy catching up with their weekend 'swag' to think about blogging/poking/twittering etc - Well of course we have the loyal faithfuls, never disappointing, ever sure, always faithful lol *iKid*

I was treated to dinner a few days back by one of my dear friends *thank God for great friends*, we were all ladies and of course it was a great rendezvous for catch up on God, life and love! Every time I have the opportunity to sit down with my girls, I have a splendid, naughty and educative time rolled into one + at this particular restaurant, the manager is always kind to give us free drinks *the pleasures of being female! (Everyone loves freebies #fact) lol

So, a few things that I want to share from our conversation :
- Everyone wants a GREAT man but are you willing to be a GREAT woman?
You see, my friends and I all believe in 'The List' and writing the vision of the kind of man we desire to have and to hold as ours (or is it to have and to hold us?). We are as detailed as possible in what we pray to God for The One to have.. And from my point, just reading my list out loud to myself makes me fall in love with the man already! lol.

I have a habit of bringing out the list periodically and reading/confessing what I desire using Psalm 37:4-5 as a base scripture and thanking God for bringing SUCH a man of a man *swoon* into my life.. I wish I could share this list with you... odikwa too much *shakes head* lol.. I must say though that none of the things on my list are unreasonable.. I tried to be as practical and real as possible. And so far so GOOD.. :-)

In addition to writing this list for HIM, I also chose to write a list for HER. You see, a lot of times, we can be so focused on the right kind of man and the qualities that he must possess that we neglect to think about what kind of woman we desire to be.

The questions I usually ask myself is "When this amazing man comes my way, would he himself want me? Would I be the kind of woman that he would also desire to have if he had a list? Would I qualify to be a man's prayer point? Would I be irresistible to have and to hold and to show off for this man?

I have come to realise that as I pray for this man, he is by God's grace becoming a greater asset, and of course we all know that as his value increases so does his taste as well as the interest of some 'others' *rolls eyes* lol.. My point is this, everybody wants a good thing .. you and HIM.. As you desire to have all these wonderful qualities in your partner, it is very important that you are also checking yourself and ensuring that you possess all those things and more! If you want a partner who loves God, do you? If you want a romantic partner, are you? If you want to have a partner who is sound in the word of God, are you?

Having said this, I have to say that my list for the kind of woman I desire to be is longer than his! I also read it out to myself periodically so that in the areas where I am lacking I can ask God for help and also actively work at improving myself..

You see, as I do so, my value increases, I will be able to boldly and confidently give any competition a run for their money (Compe whatt??! lol) we will be a very compatible match *wink wink* and most importantly we will both give God glory!

So what kind of woman do you desire to be? Write it down.. When that GREAT man comes (or if he is already here) then you can definitely handle him :-) xx

Why am I like this??! - 7 things I have learnt so far...

2012-01-17T15:16:00.002Z

Hiya good people of blogsville!

Hope the year has started on a very good note asides the #OccupyNigeria issue for Nigerians home and abroad as well as the civil tension.. I join you all in saying to our God in heaven a very hearty "Lord save our nation".

Thanks to all those who commented on the last post and wished me well on this new journey.. So far it's been 2 months in and all I can say is thank GOD! I have learnt (and still learning) a lot in only 2 months; things about God, things about him and the most surprising of all are things about me! Honestly, sometimes it takes allowing someone into your life to open your eyes or reveal some other facets of you that you didn't even know existed *eyes wide open*.. The thing is, not all of these 'revelations' are pleasant.. my goodness!

So, in the past 2 months I think my prayer life and communication with God have definitely increased. In fact I say to Him "Lord, you need to help me cause you know that if you leave me alone to my own devices I would surely 'use my hands' to spoil this thing"... I am learning, I am growing, I am being developed.

I have been able to discuss with a few of my girl-friends and it's amazing how some of the experiences we have are very similar with only some slight variations. I would write down below some of the points I have realised and you tell me if it's common or peculiar to just me:

1. Independent women feel just as insecure as the next person: I am not your overly independent woman, but I believe that I have good self-confidence to a large extent and I am very comfortable in my own skin. Nevertheless, I have come to realise that one of the most important needs of a woman is 'SECURITY'.. This doesn't only have to be financial but emotional as well in a very huge way.. There are times I do certain things to 'test' how deep his love and commitment are to me and usually it does not make sense! lol.. I am learning to let go and just trust him and trust God to make all things beautiful.

2. I OVER-ANALYSE: Mehnnnn... I have become Inspector One overnight! When he says A, I would see how A relates to B and how P may affect A and how A may actually mean Y... lol. I don't know about you, but I have a VERY over-active and over-imaginative mind.. I am always 'thinking'.. I am praying to God to deliver me from 'over-thinking' and just let go (again that word)

3. Dejavu!: In my previous relationships, there were certain things I did that I made up my mind never to do again. For instance, I remember with my first boyfriend (and I blame romance novels especially M&Bs particularly for this one), I used to instigate little tiffs aka little disagreements, and you know how the story goes; you disagree, boy says I'm sorry, girl fronts small or vice versa, eventually there's a making up and it feels like you are back to the honeymoon stage...perfecto! Unfortunately, this gets OLD after a while and only works in novels after a while..

To this effect, I am trying and trying not to take offence easily, to allow trivial things go, not to pick on every word that is said and use as a reason to give 'silent treatment'... Motto is: 'Out with the old, in with the new' *so help me God!*.

4. There are no set rules for relationships: Each relationship is unique and special in its own way. What works for A usually may not work for B. How C and D get on may not be the same way for you. You need to find your own relationship niche that works for both of you and stick with it. Never compare, (well except to learn something good for yourself or improve yourself), don't use another relationship or circumstance as a yardstick for yours.

5. Appreciate the little and big things: This one speaks for itself. Always use words of affirmation and words of encouragement, say 'thank you', 'I appreciate you', give compliments. It helps a lot. Be his/her biggest cheerleader. There's always the tendency to lose sight of why you chose him/her in the first place. Go back to that place and learn to value the person you're with because if you don't now, you may remember those good qualities you ignore now when it's too late!

6. Communication is key: It is important to be able to freely express your feelings to each other. Nevertheless, what I have learnt is that in expressing yourself, you have to be sensitive to the feelings of the other person. Sometimes, we may express ourselves to make us feel good or vent and it may really not be necessary.

7. PRAY and PRAY and PRAY: At the end of the day, every good thing is worth fighting for. I choose to fight on my knees! Rather than nag, pray about it! (Honest truth is I'd rather have it all out here and now than wait for the prayer to be answered, waiting can be long mehn! lol.. But I have learnt that it is more profitable to wait for the Holy Spirit to work things out His own way - God help us!)

So, how about you, what nuggets of wisdom borne out of experience can you share with us? I look forward to hearing yours!

God bless you xx

It's a brand NEW journey!!

2012-01-03T02:50:00.002Z

Happy New Year my darling blogville!

It's been 2months too long and I have missed you all. I'm glad and grateful to God almighty (I just love my Big Daddy!!) that we've had the good opportunity to see the year 2012 and oh my, the days are going by sooo fast already!
So, I guess it's apt for me to ask "What's going on?" "What's new folks?" "What's changed/happened, etc etc?".

Well as you may have already guessed, I have newsssss!!!! lol..
Well, some of you may know that with this blog, I hope to share some of the things I experience on my 'journey' to meeting The One, with the main One the One aka God, my Father being my senior partner.. Well, (don't worry I'm neither married not engaged yet lol) the direction and focus of my writing will change slightly as I am now officially official with an official somebody (if you get my drift hehehe) and if you don't, come back another day when I put up another post..

In this new journey of getting to know and develop a solid relationship with the Mr, I have begun to learn NEW things. I have been able to apply OLD things as well. You know, the interesting thing is that I have come back to this blog a few times to read some of the things I wrote previously as a check/guide in my new relationship. I even shared 'Taking it back Old School' with him lol.. (Truth: It is NOT an easy something at all but God dey :-)

I have come to realise that writing down one's desires and hopes is a great thing to do. It means you can go back again and again to read/have a look at it.

I have always believed very much in 'writing the vision down' as Habakkuk 1:1-3 in the Bible (be honest, did you know there was a Habakkuk in the bible? lol) rightly suggests. One important thing I have learnt so far is that it is profitable and highly recommended to write the vision! Write down your hopes and desires, write down your dreams, write down your requests to God, write down both the important and trivial things for posterity sake. When you come back to the written down vision, it gives you a clearer idea of how far you have come and/or how far behind/below you have reached in order to give you that boost to push harder.

I encourage you to begin to keep a 'vision diary'. Write down what you 'see' or hope to 'see' in your life, in your future, in your walk with God, in your home, in your marriage, in your career, in your finances.. and the list goes on and on! Be as detailed as much as possible and most importantly pray about the things you have written down.

Read it out loud to yourself again and again often (that's word confession!) and I can tell you that very soon, you will begin to see what you wrote come to life. Every time you read them out loud to yourself, they become more real to you!

I hope to share with you on this blog, the things I learn on this journey with this blessed man who has (holy) waltzed into my life and is making such a huge difference in a wonderful way! And my prayer for everyone who desires this as well is that it will come very soon and it will not tarry.

Psalm 37:4-5 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will grant you the desires of your heart. Trust also in Him and He will bring it to pass"

God loves you MUCH! xxxxxx

HE DOES NOT LIKE YOU LIKE THAT! SHIKENA (Finish/Finito!)

2011-10-03T23:22:00.001+01:00

Hiya!
So I was reading a FAB book the other day and it was a REAL eye-opener.. The writer was brutally honest - something that we all need a healthy dose of.
You know in life, many people are very careful or shall I say frugal when speaking the truth so as not to cause offence - especially in this day of 'political correctness' and 'everyone has a right to their personal opinion' syndrome... Oh well, I do agree that it is good to be sensitive to people's feelings when talking to them or giving constructive criticism but mehn sometimes we need to simply call a Red spade a RED SPADE... Not a cutlass or table knife or even a brown spade but a RED SPADE! So for instance, you know the guy your friend is eyeing is an unserious fellow but because you know she really likes him you say things like 'Oh, don't worry, some guys are not very good at expressing their feelings, he really does like you'.. NO! Tell her the truth now before she gets hurt even more.. 'Sweetie, that boy is not right for you, let him go, your man will soon come!'.

In our quest to be 'nice', we end up doing the other person a disservice and actually do more harm than good, especially when the truth is critical. On the other hand, some people DON'T want to hear the truth (I see you nodding, lol). So sometimes, the truth is wasted on them because they will either pick a fight with you or simply refuse to grant you audience. Nevertheless, as the saying goes, 'do your best and leave the...'
Anyyyways, I digress, back to the book.. It's called - 'He's JUST Not That Into You' written by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo (mainly the former).... Ladies, especially my fellow single ladies :-D.. This book is a must read I tell you!

This writer speaks the truth in a way that a lot of our friends are unwilling to do for fear of causing us emotional distress. He didn't mince any words in letting a girl know how to not only identify, but also accept when a guy is not interested in pursuing a relationship with you. You see, many times guys are not so subtle in letting us know that they are not feeling our steez aka romantically interested in us. This may not be because you are a bad person or not good enough, rather it could simply be a case of not being compatible. Unfortunately, many times when a girl is head over heels in love(?) she fails to recognise nor read nor accept to see these signs until it's too late and the guy ends up breaking her heart. The book is not a Christian book but it does contain some sincere truths that will be very useful for keeping unnecessary heart palpitations at bay.

Are you interested in finding out some of the things he mentioned???? Of course you're curious just as I was! hehehe. Anyways, I will mention a few but I have modified some things based on some stories and examples that a lot of ladies I know *cough cough* myself included, have had.....

1. If he's not calling you - Forget the excuse of 'I'm just not a phone person' or 'I'm too busy for words'.. If he is into you, he WILL call you. He will love hearing your voice or even you being silent on the phone! Whenever you find out that you're the one who keeps calling him, you need to step back a little and maybe get the message. Remember how it was with that guy who was totally crazy about you, who called you a LOT? Yup! it wasn't a mistake, that's how guys behave when they like a girl, they want to talk to them (bb-messaging does not count :-P)

2. He has a lot of ex-drama that he hasn't quite sorted out: Yes, you really like him and you want to be patient with him but know that a guy who really cares about you will go the extra-mile to make you feel secure. He will want to make you know that it's only you, and you have his FULL attention. You will not need to be checking his phones/computer or creating fake facebook accounts to check on him. In other words you will not need to die of a stroke before your time. Respect yourself enough to step back and let him sort himself out. If he really wants you, he will come back.

3. He's not defining the relationship: Ah-ha! This one is a VERY important one (infact, I shall be writing a full post on this soon). If there's something you have to remember, it's this.. 'ALWAYS DEFINE YOUR RELATIONSHIP'. Do not assume or do not make him make you assume. A guy who wants to be with you, will be with you and not leave you speculating. Like I said earlier, he will want to make you feel secure. Please let's ditch 'We are having something'.. No, you are not having something, perhaps the only thing you are having is a nice recipe for heartbreak. Please, be bold enough to talk about what you want out of the relationship and know that you deserve that much.

4. He blows Hot and Cold: I'm sure a lot of ladies will understand this concept. One minute, he seems very interested, the next you're not so sure anymore. One minute, he's calling 5 times a day checking on you at random times, the next you don't hear from him in 2 days, 5 days, 2 weeks. Then he calls again and the cycle starts again. Please RUN! A guy who cares about your feelings will not mess around with it in such a manner. He will be straight with you and be honest with you. Again I say, you deserve that much!

5. He pressures you about sex: As a Christian, I have found out that when you are walking with a like-minded guy, he helps you in your decision to wait. What I have found is that a guy who really cares about you, cares about the things that you care about! When he knows how important your relationship with your Father in heaven is, his desire should not be to break that relationship but to help you in building that relationship. he will do this because he will understand how much it will hurt you to spoil that relationship and friendship with God. A guy who is for keeps will not want to satisfy his urges and hurt you in the process. He will be willing to wait. Note that it will NOT be easy at all but he will care enough to be disciplined for the good of both of you. In addition, we are hoping that he will share the same beliefs as you, therefore even when you are weak, he can be strong for you and vice versa. A man like that knows where you are headed and wants to support your destiny and not mar it. And of course, if he knows that he is making plans in such a way that he will be getting it as much as he wants in the near future, he will hold body and bear it with a grin (well not quite :-)!

Please note that this list is not by any means exhaustive so ladies AND gents, feel free to add to it! xx

WORTH THE WAIT? YOU BET!

2011-09-17T02:20:00.000+01:00

Hiya!!

It's been AGES!! I know, I know, I have gone on one of what is becoming a bad habit of 'suddenly dropping off the face of the beautiful world of blogging'. As always, you have to believe me when I say that I have missed blogging immensely and all you my dear cyber friends :-). Even though I haven't been here, I have been very much around and I've kept up to date with my blog-rounds so kudos to all the faithfuls who keep me entertained and make turning on my laptop worth it! *kisses*.

What's been good with y'all? For me, it has been quite busy and can I say erhm quite eventful. Let me expand: What I have been up to:
1. I have cried over a dude
2. Seen a guy I liked go with another chic
3. Started having some sort of wistful thoughts (?) about my first boyfriend aka my first looove! hehe
4. Mr E is getting married next month (sorry no time to explain, read previous posts for clarification hehe)
5. Decided to take the wise words of Matthew 6:33 completely, focus on THE ONE and stop stressing about meeting the one.

You see in the past few weeks, I have gotten to discover something about myself in this journey to meeting the one, and this has enabled me to make certain decisions. You see, I'm sure I have mentioned it many times on this blog how important I consider marriage and how much I want to have a great marriage. Consequently one of my greatest fear in life is to have a broken marriage/home. I think I'm so concerned (actually concerned is not quite the word, more like bordering on obsessed) about it because of the things I have seen and experiences of people, especially women whose lives have been so messed up because of a wrong decision in the choice of a life partner. I have seen the hurt and damage that a bad marriage does to individuals and I NEVER want to be a victim.

Furthermore, I am a Christian so I believe that I will be walking down the aisle ONCE by God's grace.

I have always felt that as a Christian and a young woman who absolutely believes in God and who has been through many things in life that has solidified my trust in Him that my faith in God in taking care of me was firm. I have always imagined that I have experienced the faithfulness in God in so many amazing ways that it was easy for me to trust Him to handle everything that I faced.

I was wrong. I have come to realise that while I trusted God and allowed Him to have His way in every (or most) areas of my life, I guarded my future marriage/marital life jealously. It was so important to me that I wanted to handle it MYself and be very careful and meticulous about it. While I could have faith in God in other areas of my life, I felt I could never try to 'gamble' with my future marriage. I wanted to worry about it on my own, I wanted to look for the 'ideal' man on my own, I wanted to pick at every fault and look very critically at every young man that comes my way and chase every 'waste-man' from a mile. I would ~~stalk~~ check him out, his background, familiarise myself with his facebook, google him and ensure that he was not hiding a wife and 11 sons. I wanted to ask all the right questions and employ many 'wise' ways to judge his character. I wanted to do all these things so that I will guarantee my happy home.

You know what? I have failed! And I have failed not small, not medium but BIG TIME!
I have learnt that just as the bible says "by strength shall no man prevail", there's a lot or actually NOTHING I can achieve by my own wisdom and calculations. I NEED God. I need Him to help me. I need to trust Him enough to let go and let Him. I need to learn to be foolish before Him and allow Him to work on my behalf. I need to learn to relax, to chill and let it go to Him. I have learnt that no matter how much I love myself or care about my future, I cannot out-love God even for myself, I do not care about my future more than He does. I have decided (by His grace) to look unto Him, seek Him earnestly and wait for Him to act on my behalf.

And this is the hard part; the waiting. The waiting patiently for His best and for His time. The waiting without compromising, the waiting faithfully with complete trust in His love for me and His ability to come through for me.

But one thing I know for sure is that; With God, it's ALWAYS worth the wait!

PS, It feels soooo good to be back xxxx

Taking it back OLD SCHOOL

2011-06-29T18:57:00.000+01:00

The day after my aunt got married, she came over to my house to say hi and to pick up a few things before jetting out on honeymoon. Of course, being the curious cat that I am, I seized the opportunity of interrogating her of how her first night as a married woman went.

She’s my aunty but the age difference between us is not that great so we get along very well; we are really close and I find it easy to discuss almost everything with her. Anyways, I was dying to tease and know what had gone on. If you know me, you would know that I am interested in anything and everything pertaining to married life and since I haven’t had the good fortune of walking down the aisle yet, I am always quick to harass my friends + family who have taken the plunge before me.

At one point during our conversation, (I’ll spare you the full details), she said to me “One, do you know that hubby and I did not as little as kiss before we got married?”.. I kept quiet and looked at her with such huge admiration.

Let me explain to you why my admiration for her went up by 1000%.. You see, having a godly relationship/courtship in today’s world as a Christian is not the easiest things and I am sure you will agree with me. There are so many things that have come to be deemed as acceptable even when they clearly compromise the word of God. For me, it is increasingly difficult to draw the line to what is acceptable and not acceptable by God’s standard. Key word being God’s standard and not society or media or peer’s standard.

The challenge is not only due to external forces but also internal as well. When you love someone, the physical attraction is c-r-a-z-y and it takes only the grace of God and strong discipline to stop one from doing what you don’t want to. I remember a few years ago, before I got into my last relationship, I desperately wanted it to be as godly as possible. I had made up my mind that there would be not even as ‘much’ as kissing not to mention ‘quaving’/’petting’/’snogging’ etc.. Alas, when the time came and emotions overtook good sense, it was difficult not to hold, kiss + others. It proved to me that sometimes you may have good intentions but when it comes to the crux of the matter, and emotions and ‘right atmosphere’ come into play, good intentions + rationale fly out the window with the promise to come back another day (this promise often does not happen!). I know how difficult it is and I understand how many Christians are struggling with how to be in a loving relationship/courtship that still obeys God’s word and glorifies Him hence why my admiration for my aunt stemmed out of the fact that I thought she was a trooper for being able to ‘hold herself’!!

Anyways, again I have made up my mind (this time with as much pre-prayers as much as possible) that when The One does come, I want it to be absolutely and totally God’s way!! I desire for it to be as ‘Old School’ as possible! You see, in the past, Christian relationships involved no physical relationship whatsoever. I know this may sound archaic and out-dated, nevertheless personally I have discovered that one kiss is never sufficient especially when you are in love with someone. It always starts innocently but there’s always a possibility for things to go a lot further. So I had rather prefer to ‘flee all appearances’. In addition, I believe that time and ways change every day but God’s standards remain the same.

I want my relationship and courtship period to be a lot about getting to know THE PERSON as opposed to the body. I want to fall in love with his mind and love the way his words caresses my mind & soul and not his hands my body. I want to share with him what I read about and learnt from the bible for that day and I want us to pray over the phone together before we go to bed. I want to see clearly the way he treats his family and friends and those around him to be able to understand the way he would treat me and our children. I want to laugh and joke with him and have things in common with him separate but in addition to my physical attraction to him…..

I know that these things do not come by mere wishful thinking but in addition to praying for the grace of God to carry me through, I understand that I have to take practical steps as well. I know that there are many situations and things I would have to deprive myself during this short period in order to achieve this. I know that he has to be in agreement as well with me so that we can help each other in our time of inevitable weakness. I know that there will be times when I would just want to throw it all in and kiss his oh so attractive lips that be calling out to me “One, One, just one gentle kiss”… (*sigh* God help me!) or when my body will be all hot and bothered for him but I choose to WAIT.

I will wait because I know that it is but a matter of time and then he will be ALL mine, I will wait because no matter how long our relationship is, our marriage will be much more longer by God’s grace. And I will wait most importantly because I know it will bring glory to my Father in heaven who is the ultimate THE ONE, THE ONE.. I am that I am.

And when the time of waiting is over, when the Pastor says to him “You may now kiss your bride”.. OH MY GOODNESS!! If people are not careful, we may not attend our own reception! In fact, after all the waiting, I will be hoping that all things being equal, children will come only after about 2 years of KNOWING my HUSBAND! *wink wink* xx

Don't Worry it's YOU he chose....

2011-05-25T12:56:00.000+01:00

Lucky you?!

You know I have heard this phrase so much it’s becoming old and irritating. It’s used to excuse cheating partners and husbands, tolerate bad behaviour and accept nuisances.

“Don’t worry, at least it’s you he chose”..

Perhaps, I don’t really understand the meaning of that sentence fully. Yes, I know that the man finds the wife as stated in the bible that “when a man FINDS a wife, he finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord”. Actually, it is a thing of pride and of joy to be ‘found’ but many people have used and abused that syndrome.

When a man is cheating on his girlfriend or wife, people are quick to ‘reassure’ her that “don’t worry it’s you he chose”.

When a man is not providing for her as he ought to, she is quickly reminded “don’t worry it’s you he chose”.

When he is grossly misbehaving, it is made known to her “don’t worry it’s you he chose”

The worst part is when he misbehaves and he starts to tell you that “don’t worry love, the other girls don’t matter, it’s you I chose!”

So he ‘chose’ you ey? Did you not ‘choose’ to accept?

Many times, some women are led to believe that the man is doing you a favour by being with you or that he has bestowed upon you an honour by making you his wife/girlfriend. Yes, I do agree that it is honourable to be ‘wifed’ to a GOOD man, emphasis on good. It is pleasant, it is beautiful, it is indeed a blessing. The bible did say that two is better than one; that if 1 can put a thousand to flight, then 2, ten thousand. You have a covering, you have a shepherd, you have a companion, you have a lover, you have a partner in life. It’s no longer a solo journey in life; you now have a friend to go through it with, you have a confidant and you have someone to share both the burdens that life sometimes bring and celebrate the joys of different days.

I know that sometimes societal pressure mostly on ladies make some guys feel that when it comes to marriage they have the advantage. Also, statistics don’t help matters either as it is said that there are twice the number of women in this world than there are men, hence it seems like men are ‘scarce’ resources. Nevertheless, it is important that you are not made to feel that he is doing you some kind of favour by being with you.

Isn’t it interesting that the bible says that it’s the man who finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord when he finds you. When you know your worth as a woman of God, it is difficult for any man to devalue your worth by making you feel that he is doing you some form of favour by being with you and that you should accept and excuse a lot of excesses because of that.

A good starting point is by renewing our mind, our thinking and the things we’ve been told and made to believe. We need to keep reminding ourselves and speaking it if possible “I am a good thing, any man that finds me will definitely find favour with God, I am a blessing to any man that finds me and that I agree to be with”.

We need to start believing what God says about us in His word. Don’t accept a half-baked relationship/proposal or marriage.

If you are currently with someone who doesn’t appreciate you or treat you in the wonderful way you ought to be treated then it’s time to boldly exit the scene and wait for someone who knows how to identify a treasure and handle it. When you carry a teething child and give he/she your diamonds, they will put it straight into their mouths as if it were a pacifier. This is because they do not recognise its value, to them, it’s just another toy or instrument to relieve their discomfort. On the other hand, when you give that diamond to a grown man or woman, they will treat it with the utmost care and handle it delicately. We need to stop being in relationships with toddlers and start talking to grown men who know the value of a good thing and can appreciate it.

Yes, he chose you, but in choosing you lady, he chose a good thing and by choosing you, his life just became better! Know it, thank God for it and take pride in it!

Dear Daddy

2011-05-22T00:00:00.000+01:00

Dear Daddy,

It's your little girl again.
My Daddy, my Hero, my Best Friend, my Encourager, my Lover, my Defence, my Shield, the One who never looks down on me, the One who never gives up on me, the One who loves me unconditionally, my Greatest Esteem Booster, my No1 Fan, it's me again.

It's been a while since I wrote to you. I know I speak to you quite often (not as often as I would like though; all faults being mine!) but as I have stated before, there's something about writing a note to you. Sometimes I'm able to write to you the things I cannot quite say.

I don't really know what to write but let me start by stating that I love you and I love the way you make me feel about myself. Your love for me inspires me to believe so much in myself and the plans that you have for me makes it worth waking up day after day and stand even when things aren't looking so 'up'.

So,I'm still struggling with waking up early to spend quality time with you and even though I have taken to making the sitting room my new bedroom so that all I have to do in the morning now is sit up and talk to you, meehn it hasn't quite worked out, lol... Infact my body goes into a new sleep-drive once the alarm goes off! Eek! I need your help!!

I am still a confused little girl at the moment with regards to the ONE.. Even though I know it's not my job to worry about it, I still do! I want to make sure that he is everything I ever dreamed of or wanted and I keep trying to meddle and try to make 'things work' but again and again it seems that you keep saying to me "Relax child, I'm still very much in control, just let it go.. I gat you" :-)

So Daddy, your little girl is laying it at your feet and watching you have your way. Who better to hand-pick my Love than my First Love, but I ask that you give me grace to be patient and trusting completely!

I look forward to time in your presence tomorrow with your other precious children.

Love you always,
One

The Other Woman....

2011-05-09T23:01:00.000+01:00

Hi my lovely lovely blogsters!

I am writing this blog post being inspired by one written by an amazing fellow blogger, wailacaan, check out her fantastic, witty and down-to-earth blog here and the said post here

.

In summary she shared with us how one of her male friends was finding it difficult to move on after 2 years of breaking up with a girl that he thought and felt was 'The One' (Coincides partially with the name of the blog lol)..

*Side-Note - What is it about finding 'The One'? Why can't we know immediately, without a shadow of doubt when we meet such a person? Wouldn't it be oh so fantastic to have a bell embedded in us that goes 'tinkle tinkle' when we meet The One'? Life would be so much easier.. The One and I would have been tinkling our way to happily ever after by now! *sigh*

Anyways, digression asides, her article made me think about my own experience of 'The One that got away", but I am writing from the perspective of 'the one that got with the one that had a one 'that got a way'... Get my drift??? Ok, let me re-phrase that. I am writing from the perspective of the new girl that met the guy who feels he lost the one that got away.. Clearer? Ok don't worry, I will get to the gist of the story in a bit....

The most dangerous kind of guys to be in a relationship with include:
1. The one that just recently broke up with his long-term girlfriend.
2. The one that his long term girlfriend cheated on him which led to the break-up.
3. The one that just broke up with his beloved girlfriend because of irreconcilable issues such as genotype, culture, parent disapproval.

In a nut shell, if he feels that he just lost 'his one that got away' or may I rephrase that, his 'perceived one that got away'.

This can be one of the most painful and disappointing relationship experiences. It feels like you are competing with an unseen other. You may never seem to match up to the idealistic imagery that he has in his mind of his 'one that got away'. It makes you feel as if you are inadequate and it can be esteem-blowing to be compared to someone else and appear to come short.

Let me tell you about this wonderful young Christian man I met last year. He ticked a lot of boxes in my ideal man - Yes, he was tall and good looking, yes he was very charismatic and a real 'peoples' man, yes he was friendly and down to earth, yes he seemed responsible, acted maturely and was a leader in many ways, yes his thoughts and aspirations of the kind of husband and father he hoped to be were admirable and YES he loved the Lord with all His heart.

Good news was he showed that he was interested in what he saw (moi :-) and acted as such.
It was nice to finally meet a Christian brother that had all the good qualities and was looking to settle down.

The only snag was that I always felt that he was holding back in a way. We ladies can be quiet intuitive and can read some unspoken language that the guy may not be expressively saying. At first, I was not able to put my finger on it, sometimes things were so good that I convinced myself that I was just looking for what wasn't there but the truth was that when I felt the relationship should make a progression to something more committed, he kept holding back.. To be honest, it was very frustrating and I had to exercise patience.. praying that God's will be done.

On paper everything was good but nothing was happening. I realised then that he had a 'One that got away' and even though he downplayed it and reiterated that they could never get back together for some important reasons, it was hampering the promise of a new relationship with him.

I feel that he kept holding out with getting into another relationship because in his mind he kept comparing other girls to his ex and they kept coming short.

The problem with being in this situation as a girl is that sometimes no matter what you do, you would still come up short.. I know some ladies have experienced this and they try and try and try and... (you get my drift).. The thing is the problem does not lie with you, it does not mean that you are not a good enough girlfriend material, it does not mean that you are not caring or wonderful a person enough, it means that he has an issue that he needs to deal with.

Truth is, it's not you, it's really him. You need to recognise this and stop beating yourself about not being the 'right enough' girl for him. You are all that and much more but unfortunately, he is blinded enough not to see and recognise the great person you are. And what a loss for him!

If you happen to be in this predicament, don't accept half of him, don't settle for less than the best! If he is not ready to make you no 1 then he does not deserve you at all. Like a famous preacher said 'You deserve to be celebrated and not tolerated in your relationship".

If needs be, give him some space to get himself together and sort himself out. Pray for him that God would give him the grace to heal from his broken heart and emotional attachment because it is a difficult thing indeed for him as well. But you need to guard your heart and ensure that he is not making you feel bad about yourself or doubt yourself as a woman!

Lots of love xx

How to be in a relationship!

2011-04-28T15:38:00.002+01:00

Hiya lovely people..

As always, it's been to loong. And in the way of time, so much has happened. I have missed blogging as usual and I come back here often and wish I could just type something or 'bluetooth' my thoughts to my laptop *that would be so lovely*..

Well here I am, and I'm so glad I'm here!

A big thank you to all who have stopped by especially first-timers, a big welcome to you, God bless you indeed.

So as per the topic at hand...

You know, one thing I have realised is that because it has been too long when I have been in a proper relationship, I feel like I need lessons! Honestly though, I need to learn the basics of how to act during the 'chasing' stage and then how to comport myself on a first date etc.. For instance, how do you front 'sufficiently' without seeming like you are not interested or making it obvious?? If I don't front, how would I act in such a way that I don't seem desperate or keen? What are the etiquettes of dating and relationships I ask??... gosh I need help!!

Many people think or assume these things come naturally to them but mehn I beg to differ.. You would just notice that for some reason, relationships don't seem to work or guys/ladies tend to lose interest in you for no apparent reason. Later, you would deduce that there's someone in your mother/father's village doing you.... No my dear, you are 'doing' yourself!

So I want to take the bold and unashamed step to ask you wonderful and experienced (and by experienced, I refer to people who have been able to sustain successful relationships!) people, what are the secrets to dating and being in a fulfilling relationship?

Practical steps would be much appreciated and of course steps that are pleasing to the One (Almighty God!)...

Lots of love xx

I am an UNMARRIED YOUNG FEMALE get me outta here!

2011-02-10T23:24:00.003Z

....So, recently I was given an assignment I really didn't want to do..

1. I felt I was not ready for it

2. I felt it was bigger than me for now.

3. I felt I was going through so much in my personal life that I didn't need to add this extra pressure on.

4. (The biggest one!) I am a YOUNG, UNMARRIED FEMALE! (To be honest, I need a husband now, not an added responsibility :-).

You see usually I am not one to shirk responsibilities. Infact, on the contrary I thrive on being given tasks to do and being given a project to manage... That has been sort of the story of my life, but this time, I felt this particular duty was beyond me.

First, it's a job given mainly to men (women do excel at it but there are more men in this field). People who know me know that I am anti- any form of discrimination or sexism. I am usually very vocal about the fact that men and women should be given equal respect and I have many role models who have proven me right.

To add petrol to fire as it were, I am a relatively young lady and I felt that people would look down on me if I attempted to take up this role. I could just imagine the look of 'flabbergasity' on their faces as they whisper to one another (not too kindly) "What does she think she's doing".. Or they come to ask me "So when is the real person going to come?"..

To then add even more flammable substance than petrol to the already raging fire, I am now a single, young lady... *Ring the alarm*!!... "They would not even pay me attention", I thought...

This is also considering all the personal 'issues' that are currently running riot!

One thing I learnt (or I'm learning) is that sometimes, you may not be the best person for the job, but if God has chosen you, He equips you to do a GREAT job of it! The bible says that He uses the base (simple/foolish) things of this world to confound the wise! (1Corinthians 1:27).

As long as you have His backing, then you know that you cannot go wrong... I always remember what I learnt some years back in Sunday School ... Do not let ANYONE despise your youth (1Timothy 4:12)..

Simply put, do not allow anyone look down on you because of your age.. may I also dare add that do not let anyone look down on you because of your status, your education, your background, your sex, your abilities... You need to believe absolutely in yourself and believe that you can do ALL things - bar none!

God is not looking for a 'perfect' person, he is looking a for a 'base' thing so that He can show His glory through you.

So I ask you, what is THAT thing that you have been putting off? What is that dream that you don't even dare to dream? What is that task that you feel people would laugh at when you voice it out? Remember Joseph? His brothers laughed at him, but in the end they bowed to him. Remember Moses? He thought he was not capable enough to lead the Israelites out of bondage, in the end he became a legendary leader! Remember Obama? They said America wasn't ready, but we all know what happened! The list could go on and on...

YOU CAN DO IT!! You can be a great man/woman, you can have a great home and a loving spouse who would treat you well, you can have your own business empire, you can be the youngest millionaire in your village/family... YOU CAN DO IT! Don't let anyone tell you any different..

So.. I'm going to take this head on (In God I trust!)

I look forward to hearing your stories as well...

God bless you, lots of love xxxxx

Random Thoughts/Random Questions/Feel Very Free to Answer Any!

2011-02-05T01:16:00.002Z

.. So how do you know when a guy is feeling your 'steez'

.. So what happens when it seems like the guy is holding back?

.. So how do you ask a question like 'dude what's the deal?' without seeming desperate?

.. So how much of my emotion am I allowed to express without him expressing?

.. So who made that stupid unwritten law that the guy has to make the first move?

.. So why is the ball in his court?

.. So is that a good or bad sign?

.. So what happens if your babe's friend is making a pass at you?

.. So why do other people's relationships make a single individual feel that much lonel(ier)?

.. So how do you handle unwanted attention/attraction from a good person/friend without hurting them?

.. So why do 'Aristos' always have money?

.. So how many times have I blogged this year?

.. So is this an excuse of a blog post? (hehe)

.. So I love 'random blogging'.. very therapeutic if you asked me.

.. So I'm out!

Peace, Love and 'good' randomness xx

Tale of the Crack-Berry!

2011-01-14T01:58:00.005Z

Something funny to start off your weekend!!

So I know a lot of people are trying to deal with their 'Crack'-berry addiction.. lol

Here's a little joke someone sent to me...

Family and friends, join me in praising God. My name is One + The One.

Just 2 days ago, I was descending a pedestrian bridge when I suddenly tripped on my shoe lace. I fell down the steps (tumbling several times). In the process, I broke 2 ribs, my hip, my left shoulder, lost 2 front teeth and I also suffered a mild concussion.

Miraculously, nothing happened to my blackberry (Insert shocked smiley here). Not even a single scratch on it! So once again join me in thanking God. God is truly wonderful!!! (Insert dancing smiley here)

PS.. Isn't it funny how it's now so difficult having a conversation or writing a post without the temptation to insert a smiley/emoticon... :-)

PS.. Isn't it funny that you haven't spoken to at least 20 of your bb contacts in the past 1 month.. I tell you this device is making it difficult to maintain human interaction.

PS.. I was chatting with a guy for 2 months and never heard his voice before... I need to 'hear' your voice darling. Enough of the *batting eyelashes* smiley.. Let me bat them at you for real hehehe!

PS.. I haven't spoken to my brother this year (He is in another country and all I we did was 'bb-d' our happy New Years)..

PS. Now you don't have to place that call, just send a voice note!... And end all form of personal interaction

PS..I love my bb still.. xx

Why don't you trust me?

2011-01-12T22:19:00.003Z

Dear Daddy,

How are you on this beautiful 12th day of the year? It's been so long, I know! I'm sorry.. I wish I could be more loyal to the blog, alas so many things happening, but I thank you!

I don't talk to you through this forum often enough but thank you that you have made it possible that there are so many other ways to communicate with you so I don't feel bereft of your company! I love you so much.

Daddy, recently, there's been such a huge mix of emotions.. One day I am filled with such over-flowing joy that I know your love for me and your plans for me are undeniably great. Nevertheless, other days, I feel so so low.. I remember the things that are not quite right and I feel so sad. I remember that I need more money and I feel so sad. I remember that I am still single while it seems so easy for my friends to be in and maintain a relationship and I feel so sad. I remember that particular thing I have been talking to you and I feel so sad.

To be honest my love, I sometimes feel so afraid of the future and it pains me to admit that sometimes I am not 100% sure about whether you have my back and whether you wouldn't let me fall. I feel guilty when I have these thoughts because I remember ALL the wonderful things that you have done for me and given me and then I feel like such an ingrate.

But I thank you for the opportunity to be honest with you.. I love you and I know, I really KNOW that you love me beyond my comprehension and beyond words. Please help my unbelief... When I feel let down or disappointed by you, it feels like I hear a voice saying 'Why don't you trust me?'

You see I have a special relationship with my family and when I think of what I would be willing to do for them, I remember your promise to me in Psalm 27:10 that even when my father and my mother forsake me, then you would take care of me.. I guess you have to help my unbelief..

Help me to understand and see that when things don't work out quite as well as I think they ought, it's only because you have better plans for me . Help me to understand that patience is a virtue that always produces results in you . Help me to understand that your love for me is so awesome and your power so mighty to do ALL things.

With this my love, my Ever Present Help in time of trouble, my Constant Reassurance, my Light and Salvation, the Stronghold of my Life, the Pillar that Holds my Life, the Glory and the Lifter of my head.. I say thank you for having my best interest at heart :-)

As always, all my love,

One xx

Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011!

2010-12-27T23:06:00.002Z

Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011!

As it is customary, the first month of the year, January is well-known for resolutions. Usually, the dawn of a new year brings with it fresh promises, renewed dedication, re-ignited passion and fresh hope! In December, one reviews the past year, counts their losses and blessings and hopes that the following year would be better than the previous one.

In the same vein, we say goodbye to 2010 and hello to 2011! It’s time to take stock of how well we did in the area of relationships and which area we need to make resolutions about. The success or failure of the relationship area of our lives does not lie in whether one was able to meet the one or whether one’s relationship status changed from single to engaged , or from engaged to married, rather it is important to measure how much progress one has made.

Progress to some may mean that as a single person, you have been able to improve yourself while waiting patiently for the right person. It’s time to ask yourself questions: “What have I done with myself in the past 12months?” Have you ‘counted sheep’ while waiting for the right relationship to come your way? Have you spent the time obsessing about whether or not the new friend you met is the ONE? Maybe you have spent the last year being bitter and angry at your single status and wondering everyday when your turn to be in a relationship with a significant other would come. Otherwise, you may have been discovering the amazing person God has made you to be! Have you spent time getting to know and fall in love with YOU? Have you come to understand the unique purpose that only you were created to fulfil on this earth? Have you taken time to learn new skills, travel to new destinations, make new friends and enjoy the companionship of family and friends? Have you spent the last one year being the best that you can be? If you haven’t, then it’s time to make a resolution.

Progress in the relationship section could also mean for some that you have been able to get rid of the unfulfilling relationship to make room for God’s best for you. Have you been able to let go of the one that seems to be draining you rather than building you up? Have you been able to say no to the one that common opinion says to just endure but your heart knows will not lead to what you have always dreamed of? Has the past year meant that you have had to make some tough decisions and walk away from some associations? If you are still hanging unto a dead-end relationship, you need to make a resolution.

In addition, progress could mean for some that you have met the ONE. The one that meets your individual preference in a life partner, the one that makes you smile from within, the one that builds you and encourages you to be the best that you can. Have you confirmed with the One who knows all hearts and intents, the One who created the ONE? Have you committed it in prayers to God and asked Him for directions and guidance, as His word says.. “In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path”. If you haven’t, it’s not too late to make a resolution! And if you have, you can still make a resolution, ask yourself “At the end of this year, where would I like to see us?”

It’s time to make a resolution!

Just Before You LAUGH....

2010-11-22T18:03:00.002Z

Hi people!

Hope you are all well..

Recently, I have learnt something interesting about relationships. It's funny that sometimes, the 'rejected stone' becomes the chief cornerstone.

What do I mean? Well I have come across some ladies or men who say they would rather die than be in a relationship with a particular person. Sometimes we raise our noses up at certain people and think to ourselves that it could and would and should never happen! We laugh even at the thought of it!

Alas! What happens then is that a few weeks/months/years down the line, we are singing a new tune and loving up to this same person we earlier laughed at!

You see, I understand that the older you get, the qualities you look for and desire in the opposite sex starts to change. When I was younger, I wanted the tall, dark, handsome, BAAAD, rude boi! I wanted someone with attitude and someone that was popular. As I have grown older (and hopefully wiser), baad bois don't do it for me anymore like that (I still like a good measure of swagger though!) but now, the inside of a man matters to me much more than the way he looks. Don't get me wrong, I still very much want a man who is very good-looking and charming but I wouldn't touch him with a 10-foot pole if he didn't have character!

For me, life has taught me that when a man treats you right, he becomes the most beautiful creature to you in the world! Even when no one sees it, you begin to look at him with the eyes of love, he appeals to your senses, he becomes attractive to you and you are able to respond to him romantically. I believe I can safely say the same for when a man finds a woman with an excellent character. You know, as I grow older, I have begun to understand more the phrase 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'..

Another thing I also understand is that time, circumstances and age changes people. You see that 'swaggerless' individual you see today? In a few years he becomes the hot 'sturving' that others are running after. You see that doppy girl with the crooked teeth you see today? In a matter of time, she becomes the model chic that men are dying over! The years have matured them and they have come into their own. The experiences they have been through has made them 'metamorphosise' from the caterpillar they once were to the butterfly they are now. Age has fully completed their look. You know, if a mother saw her baby at 1 or 2 months old, she would probably say 'God forbid!' lol.. But when they have been fully formed for 9months, they become the cute, cuddly babies that everyone wants to carry.

There was this guy that had been asking my friend out for the LONGEST time! We used to laugh at him so much and when I want to tease my friend or get on her nerves, I would be like "You and X would get together" or "Why don't you just give him a chance" with my tongue firmly in cheek.. and she would just get so upset or laugh it off saying God forbid, even if he were the last man alive, etc.. For her, looks and image were priority and this guy at the time didn't seem to cut it at all... I remember once having a conversation with her and discussing about how it is possible to fall in love with him if they got to know each other better and she said she was very confident that it could and should and would never happen!

Well imagine my surprise and speechless state when she told me recently that they were in a relationship and had been together for a while! She spoke about him so glowingly and spoke about how she 'just realised' that he was a great person with a great heart... He was there for her during a difficult period and his unshakeable persistence with her through many boyfriends and laughter(s) (at his expense!) eventually melted her heart.... I was GOB-SMACKED!!!

Another friend of mine mentioned that when the man who was to become her husband asked her out, she burst laughing, thinking "You must have guts"... Now she is happily married to him and speaks so well of him..

The ways of God and His plans are soo far from ours that sometimes our limited vision cannot comprehend it and like Sarah we laugh...

But thank God for His mercies, cause even though we laugh He still unveils the treasure in the person and brings His will to pass. Nevertheless, we need to be careful as like Sarah, we may act or do something that has a long-lasting effect before we come to SEE what God sees!

God bless xx

May God give us the grace to SEE before we laugh..

Dear Daddy....... It's a Journey!

2010-10-04T15:29:00.002+01:00

Dear Daddy,

I know it's a Monday and normally, I write to you on Fridays (When I actually do write..*sorry* :-). I discovered that sometimes, writing a letter to you makes it easier to express myself.

As always, let me start by saying I love you from the bottom of my heart, you're my number 1! My first love, my best friend, my confidant, my joy, my hero, my daddy.

Daddy, it's a confused little girl that's writing to you this afternoon.. You know Mr E that I was talking to you about in our earlier post here well, it seems like the feelings are back again! I don't know what to do!

You see I really had closed that chapter and even moved on but you see recently we had the opportunity (?) to spend some time together and I loved EVERY bit of it. He brought back all those memories again, how he made me come alive, how it was so easy for him to make me smile or laugh at silly things. How he made me feel young and adventurous! How he seemed to make me come alive!

I wish things could be so much more simpler but alas!!!! But as I read the description of this blog I remember what I said in my first post here.. This thing of "waiting for the one" is a journey and like all life's journeys, you encounter different experiences to spice up the experience.. I guess this is part of my story..

However way it turns out, I hope to use my journey to inspire, educate and bring humour to someone else's life...

Thank you daddy 'cause I am certain that you have the BEST plans for me and for that I am thankful. Thank you for this Adam to my Eve, thank you for keeping him especially for me. Thank you for ensuring that we compliment each other, thank you for all those things on my list that you have put into consideration when leading him to me. :-)

And thank you for all the young ladies and men who are also trusting you to bring them to the completion of this part of the journey...

Love Always,
One

Just a Little Something....

2010-08-29T22:21:00.002+01:00

Hiya Blogsville!!

I have missed blogging soo much! It's all the 'busy-ness' of life... God help moi!

So as always with such a long time passing, there's so much that has gone - and is going on..

As per the last post.. I have been longing to blog about the follow up of the meeting.. SOO guy came back, and all I can say is "Halleluyahhhh" lol

I can safely say that I wasn't acting a fool around him, it was a more confident, self assured young lady that met him this time around.. I tell you, God is the best esteem booster..

For any lady or guy who is still locked in the past of a broken relationship, let me assure you that there's hope.. Sometimes it's harder when the other person has moved on with someone else and it feels like you're stuck in a rut... God has a way of working things out.. Remember, he has a plan for you and like a true father he would hand-pick your own for you.

He's done it before, yours wouldn't be any different!

Lots of love xx

Till death doth this Go?

2010-07-24T23:05:00.002+01:00

I told you I would be back *wink*

Hope you all had a great day, mine was nothing short of AWESOME!! I attended a FANTASTIC gospel concert and it was absolutely fabulous.. even if I am lying in bed at the moment, not being able to move! I tell you, High praise is the most effective anti-dote to feeling low/discouraged/depressed/guilty/sad/heart-broken etc.... Why don't you try it out tomorrow... It's Sunday, you can have some "Praise-o-fen".. (If this encourages at least one person to attend church tomorrow, you would have made my weekend + your weekend + His weekend! :-)

Tell me how it goes, I eagerly await your positive responses!!

On another note, I have always wondered if it were possible to completely fall out of love with an ex.. You see, people say that love lasts forever and that like energy, it is never lost but is only transformed to another form. So for instance, love doesn't end with a relationship, it only translates to another emotion such as hate, anger or jealousy...

So I say to myself, that must be quite a situation for a lot of people seeing as sometimes before you meet The One, you kiss quite a number of frogs/caterpillars/apes (lol) whom you sometimes fall in love with (?)....

So there was this guy I (think) I was in love with and now I (almost strongly) believe I have gotten over him.. The thing is, I haven't seen him in a while and so the letting go part has been quite good.. He's coming into town soon and I am about to know for sure if it's all done and dusted now! I am actually looking forward to seeing him so I can analyse the way I react/respond to him.. I shall definitely be coming back to share with you..

Afterwards, then I would do a post on "How to Let Go" or perhaps "How to handle unwanted emotions"... Please pray with me that it would be the former! lol

Lots of love xx

Where are the Beautiful Ones I Ask?!?

2010-07-23T13:31:00.002+01:00

Is it possible to find a guy who has it all?!!

I ask because I really want to know. For those who have met Mr Right, would you say he was all that you wanted/asked for without compromise?

It’s such a tricky situation sometimes.. I am not trying to be pessimistic; I just want to hear your opinion (in an objective manner).

As a young lady, you have plans about the kind of guy that you want to be with.... For me, it would include but not limited to good Christian, good looking/attractive, generous, good sense of humour, intelligent, tall, available and ready to make a commitment. But it seems like I meet guys who have one or two of the qualities and are lacking in other areas I consider vital.... So the problem isn’t finding a tall and handsome, young, intelligent man, it’s the fact that he doesn’t really see the point in going to church or that he is as stingy as a church rat!

Other times, it’s finding a good fire-brand Christian, attractive, young man, short/average height with the personality of a toothpick!

Why is it hard to meet a man who loves God, looks good, kind-hearted, charismatic, can hold a decent conversation, confident height + *cherry on the top* single!?

May God help us single ladies…

So what do you think? Is it possible, are our demands unrealistic (bearing in mind – ask and you shall be given), are they all married or are the beautiful ones not yet born!?

(I would also appreciate some male perspectives please!)
PS: Sorry about being MIA….. I shall be here more often, God willing!
And thanks for the comments on the last post…

Lots of love xx

LINE OF FRIENDSHIP

2010-05-20T19:56:00.003+01:00

Quick question,

Can guys and girls JUST be friends??

I know this is an age old question but I would still like to know..

How "close" can you be to a friend of the opposite sex who is in a relationship? I have had this conversation with a lot of my girl friends who are in this kind of situation.

For instance, I have a friend who is "best friends" with this guy who has a girlfriend... He talks to her, *his buddy* first thing in the morning.. sends her texts/emails and sometimes an additional phone call just to show he cares.. When he has issues, he runs to her for advice especially when he wants to get a female opinion (you get me?).. He even seeks her advice when he wants to do something special for his girlfriend (No one questions the fact that he loves his girlfriend, he lets the whole world knows!)..

Although they are really just friends, I always ask the question "Would you like your boyfriend to have a girl-friend like that?"... As a guy, would you be comfortable if your girlfriend had that kind of relationship with another guy? What would happen during "vulnerable" moments? (cause there would surely be)

So what are your thoughts?? Where do you draw the line of friendship?? Is there a line to be drawn really or should your other half be a bit more understanding and accommodating??

There's Nobody like You.....

2010-04-08T23:48:00.003+01:00

....... For some reason, I have only just listened to this amazing song by Lara George. I cannot begin to describe how much I love this song. Perhaps it's because of the deep love I have for the One she sings about.. Oh the words are so beautiful and so true! And the way in which the song is sung with such emotion and passion makes me "enter" into it...

I love any song that talks about the fact that there's no one like our God.. This is soo true! Like one song aptly puts it, you can search everywhere and through eternity and still find that there is no one like God, there is no one like Jesus!

This is why/how I know:

-No one loves me the way He does

- No one makes me feel the way He makes me feel

- No one completes me like He does

- Nothings satisfies my soul like He does

- No one makes me feel complete like He does

- No one makes me feel as special as He does

- No one will willingly die for me like He did

- No one will wipe away all my tears like He does

- No one cares as deeply and as sincerely as He does

- No one knows how to fill my heart with such utter joy like He does

- No one makes me smile like he does

... I could go on and on..

Ok, just a little bit more :-)

- No one is as great as He his

- No one holds the world in the palm of His hands like He does

- No one sends rain in due season like He does

- No one knows how to make the thunders roar and lightnings strike like He does

- No one knows how to make the birds sing or the lions roar like He does

- No one knows how to make the sun set or the moon shine like He does

- No one knows how to part the sea in two like He did

- No one knows how to send fire from the sky and even lick up water like He did

- No one knows how to heal diseases with words like He can

- No one knows how to touch you in the place where it really hurts like He knows

- No one understands like He does

- No one forgives all like He does

- No one knows the beginning and is the beginning like He does and is

- No one knows the end and is the end like he does and is

Oh Ancient of Days, Balm in Gilead, Holy One of Israel, I Am that I Am, Sword of My Excellency, Faithful Witness, First Begotten of the Dead, Prince of the Kings of the Earth, Alpha, Omega, Son of God, Amen, Beginning of the Creation of God, He that holds the Seven Stars in His Right Hand, Who Walks in the midst of the Seven Golden Candlesticks, Who has the Sharp Sword with Two Edges, Who has the Seven Spirits of God and the Seven Stars, Holy, True, Who holds the Key of David, Who Opens and no man can Shut, Who shuts and no man can Open.... THERE IS NO ONE LIKE YOU!

I'm Waiting....sigh

2010-04-07T15:48:00.006+01:00

I’m waiting for the right guy to…

Take me out on a perfect date so I can…

Look hot and…

Wear my special outfit…

He would also spoil me with treats…

And buy me that blackberry/Iphone…

We would both go on special trips and…

Tour all the wonderful places I have heard off…

He’ll be the one to make me smile and…

Feel completely satisfied, on top of the world…

This will definitely improve my productivity and…

Make waking up early in the morning much more interesting…

Especially as his texts are the ones I would wake up to…

Calming my early morning nerves and…

Ensuring I would be a saint through the day…
………………………………………………………….
…………………………………………………………
………………………..
Sorry I was practicing for when I would be too busy…

Reading his texts and spending time with him…

Sometimes it would even make me forget what to write (or that I was writing!)

I’m sure some people would read the above with a smile and a little shake of the head! Isn’t it funny that some of us are waiting for the right guy to do all the things that we plan to do or hope to achieve? (Mind you, for some ladies, you can strike out the ‘right’ as they are just waiting for a guy, period! Lol.. We sometimes feel that once that right man comes, most of our life’s troubles would be sorted. There’s so much expectation placed on the right man and the right relationship that it sometimes contributes to extinguishing it even before anything can take root!

I strongly believe that one should embrace all of life’s opportunities as we have it now and stop putting off certain things until the right man comes.

Don’t wait to go on that date, do it now! Try setting up a ‘date’ with your friends and treating yourselves to a nice day or evening out! Learn to feel comfortable and enjoy your own company and that of your platonic friends. Factually, it may not be as exciting and wonderful as it would be with a significant other, nevertheless it is very worth it, you only have to try it to understand and appreciate the power of good, solid friendships!

Wear that gorgeous outfit now!
Don’t wait for a guy you can impress before you look nice. Love yourself enough to do things for yourself and not for the sake of others, it helps your self-esteem and the way you rate yourself. Besides trust me, if you don’t inculcate the habit now, don’t expect a miracle later.

Waiting is good, waiting is beneficial – I mean, the bible says that it develops our ability to be patient and patience they say is a virtue… On the other hand, waiting can be hard, it can be frustrating, it can be an absolute nightmare.

It’s up to you my friend to decide if you would rather ‘count sheep’ whilst waiting, or get on with other aspects of life and improve yourself in the process.

Oh How Times Have Changed!!

2010-03-04T16:49:00.004Z

Hallo!
You have to read this to believe it!
PLEASE DOUBLE CLICK ON PICTURE TO READ...

So the question now is do you think we should revert to this system, and are women just too liberated for comfort in today's world? In addition, would this measure, if strictly adhered to, perhaps reduce the rate of divorce in today's world??

lol xx

Oh how times have changed!!! *Sigh*

Valentine new wahala?

2010-02-23T01:09:00.007Z

It seems like everyone around me is getting engaged!!

Left, right, front, back... ..

I blame it on Valentine's day, in fact the whole month of February!!

Now people are no longer satisfied with chocolates and flowers on the 14th, oh no! they want you to put a ring on it!! (Actually maybe Beyonce may partially be responsible... that's for all you Beyonce-ogling guys out there hahahaha - evil laugh - now you'll think again before watching THAT video again, serves you right!)

As if the pressure wasn't bad enough! lol I feel sorry for the guys.. Shey it was the amount you spent on gifts you were "fearing" before... Now you will have to save up for that sparkly ring (and it has to be nicer than the one her friend got mind!) and of course the great big day...

So guys do you feel the pressure? And ladies, would you like a valentine's day proposal??

Personally, my verdict is still out on it you know. For one, it would be sooo obvious unless the guy's got extra game and manages to still make it unique regardless of the fact that there's a ripple of "YES!" across the world on the day!

Hmmm....

... NEW POST!! lol

2010-02-23T00:50:00.003Z

NEW POST! NEW POST!! NEW POST!!!

I know, I know! It's a looooooong time coming!

Happy New Year and everything in - between!

Oh my goodness I've missed blogging/blogville/everything blogified!

I'm always glad to be back..

I don't know why I am so lazy when it comes to blogging!

If only I were confident (not to mention technical savvy hehe) enough to do audio posts seeing as I like to talk soo much!

I'm guessing that then I would be regular enough lol...

I must mention here that you guys are tres amazing!! Your encouraging comments put the much needed grease on my elbow to come back! Merci beaucoup ma cherie(s)!! :-)

So much has already happened this New Year!

With respect to that, I would just like to say that please appreciate everyone that you love, don't wait for "tomorrow" to show them how much you care.. Remember tomorrow is not promised to anyone, we can only hope and pray for it... Do something nice for them TODAY!! Especially that thing you've been meaning to do.. "I don't have time" is not a good enough excuse.. Don't wait to have to forcefully look for that time...

My simple message to you is that God has blessed us with such wonderful (and not so wonderful :-) people around us, let's show them just how much we appreciate and love them back!

I love you all!! (Forgive/permit me, I'm feeling quite emotional!)

More importantly I hope you fully understand how loved you are by God... He loves you, He truly truly does!

PS - Someone once said that women are very random, meaning we jump from one train of thought to another... Is that true?.. Actually judging from this post and many others I would have to kinda concur lol!

Peace, love and joy in Jesus...

One

xxxx

Fronting... To be or not to be?

2009-12-18T14:34:00.004Z

SILLY POST!! :-)

…So it would be good to first and foremost understand the concept of “fronting”. Fronting otherwise referred to as “forming” is a situation whereby an individual (most usually but not exclusively of the female specie) feels it necessary to act uninterested in a guy that she is (most often) interested in, in order to appear coy/shy/demure/innocent/unmoved by the said attention. In addition individuals arguably use this technique to make the interested party even more interested (!) or as a technique to “up” their individual value hence not being regarded as cheap.

A lot of girls would admit to having used this technique in the past, present or future. I myself have been known to be amongst the guilty (although that is still debatable). You see, ladies especially from my part of the world are encouraged to allow the man do the “chasing”. Doing things otherwise, people used to say (well some still say) is a shameless act of desperation! “Oh let him sweat before you agree to even give him your name” “make him wait, he would value you more”.

I know some individuals have perfected the art of fronting. Even if they are dying under with “love” for the interested party, they would absolutely refuse to show it but rather remain aloof to keep the poor person in suspense. Some see it as a power trip – whoever caves in first, loses! I know some people wait for the other to say “I miss you” “I love you” first so they don’t appear too keen and also to re-affirm their position as having the upper hand in a relationship.

I don’t mean to sound too harsh because indeed not all cases are extreme and negative. But sometimes I’m confused on what to think. What’s the real deal? Is it better to play the hard-to-get game or plunge straight in and be honest from the get? Does fronting equate to being dishonest, and is that not bad for a starting (is that a word? Lol) relationship? Also, it’s of concern to me that some people have abused the innocent and clean art of fronting that even when you are ABSOLUTELY NOT interested in the guy/girl, he/she is thinking “oh she’s just fronting/playing hard to get!”.. Oh I have quite a number of stories to that end. Sometimes such people would not go away except by praying and fasting! Is it not funny that it’s usually the ones that you really would NOT have anything to do with who stay the longest??

There’s the story of this guy who used to live close to me a while back whom I first met in church and all. We became friends but then he wanted more than that to which I refused. But this guy p.e.r.s.i.s.t.e.d! In return, I kept constant in saying no, but I guess he was thinking “just wait a few more weeks, she would come round”. Well this one didn’t quite “come round” oo. So after some time and I thought he had (almost) forgotten about going into a relationship, he said he wanted to talk to me. When we got talking, he said “see, I don’t like the way this relationship is going. We don’t spend time together etc etc” In my mind I was like “You what?? Are you having a laugh mate?” I didn’t know whether to laugh or be angry or just stare at him in amazement. Needless to say, I was (very) speechless!! So you see, moral of the story - you can actually be in a relationship with someone and not have a clue about it! lol

Because...

2009-12-14T20:30:00.004Z

Hiya,

I saw this lovely post by T.D Jakes. I'm guessing that many people might have seen this (which is good enough) but for those who haven't or for anyone who needs a little reminding, here goes!

"BECAUSE" by TD Jakes

Just because no one has been fortunate enough to realize
what a gold mine you are,
Doesn't mean you shine any less.

Just because no one has been smart enough to figure out
that you can't be topped,
Doesn't stop you from being the best.

Just because no one has come along to share your life,
Doesn't mean that day isn't coming.

Just because no one has made this race worthwhile,
Doesn't give you permission to stop running.

Just because no one has realized how much of an
awesome woman you are,
Doesn't mean they can affect your femininity.

Just because no one has shown up who can love you on your level, Doesn't mean you have to sink to theirs.

Just because you deserve the very best there is,
Doesn't mean that life is always fair.

Just because God is still preparing your king,
Doesn't mean that you're not already a Queen.

Just because your situation doesn't seem to be progressing right now, Doesn't mean you need to change a thing.

Keep shining, keep running, Keep hoping, and keep praying,
Keep being exactly what you are already. COMPLETE!!

Get it Right!

2009-12-11T23:47:00.003Z

New Post, New Post!! (Big Grin)

I'm always glad to come back to blog on here although it's becoming increasingly difficult. i woud like to share a bit of myself here (I guess that's part of what blogging is about - opening up and sharing with people your thoughts and brain child).

There's a saying I heard/read once that I really like and that is "A foolish man learns from his own mistakes and a wise man learns from the mistakes of others". I remember when I read that, I thought to myself "yeah, that makes sense and I definitely one to be the wise one" hence I made up my mind to try as much as possible to watch carefully and learn from others who have gone through stuff that I may be able to avoid such. On the other hand, another popular saying goes "experience is the best teacher" ergo, sometimes the best way to know what it feels like or to learn a lesson is to have a taste of it - you never know what heat is until you go near or touch fire.

For me, both sayings are quite apt, my life is a combination of both; in some cases, I have seen things happen to people or people do stuff in certain ways with bad or good results and I have either avoided or embraced it while in other cases, I have had to go through some things for me to fully appreciate it.

So enough with the philosophy, what exactly is my point.. Well, I hope in the next couple of posts to share a bit of my relationship story (s). You see one thing I have realised is that as a young Christian lady, it is sometimes so difficult to have a "Christian" relationship in today's world and in many cases, you compromise - either in a "big" way or in a "minor" way. For many people, our desire is to do it God's way, but time and time again even the best of Christians miss it and it's only after it doesn't work out that you think to yourself "What was I thinking???"

You see, relationships are a big part of our formative years and life is very much defined by it.. I'm not talking only in terms of romantic relationships but platonic and familial as well. So many people have been damaged by wrong relationships and inversely, so many people have been rescued and nurtured by the right relationships and associations. My prayer for you is that you would realise what the right kind for you is and embrace it, in order to be that which God has made you and called you to be.

I would continue in the next post and start from the beginning :-)

For now, I hope you know that the best relationship is the one with the One.. Jesus makes it all worth it and only Him can complete anyone.... I leave you with this beautiful song and wish you a most beautiful weekend.

God bless you xx

Conversations

2009-12-04T20:44:00.002Z

My darling daddy,

How are you? My love, my joy, my peace, the glory and the lifter of my head..

I am just so thankful to you for all of the ways that you have shown me grace and favour.

It's good to have a father like you. I know I can talk to you about anything and everything and you will understand like no one else would.

Daddy I'm a bit confused, please make things clear and please give me the strength to make the right decision. I want to just hide in the shadow of your wings.

Everyday I am reminded of your profound love for me. I know that you hold me in such high esteem, I know that I am so precious to you. Perhaps if only we all knew just how precious we were to you!

But sometimes we forget daddy, and sometimes like the prodigal son it takes eating with swine to wake up and realise that in your palace, we are kings and queens.

Thank you for everything daddy.

Love you always,

One

Ladies!

2009-10-02T16:37:00.003+01:00

..So I was thinking to myself, "when I get back to blogville, what would I like the theme of my blog to be" cause I don't want to write pointlessly, that would surely be a waste of my time. I have always wanted to be an inspiration, especially to young ladies (I don't know why) but I've always had a heart for young ladies like myself, and sort of considered it my "ministry".

My desire is to see more young ladies step out for God, ladies who would value themselves and have a solid cast-iron self-esteem that no one would be able to rubbish. One area that I know is very peculiar to many young ladies is the big "R" word; RELATIONSHIPS. Hence the reason why this blog dwells heavily (and more) on it. My desire is to see young ladies in more fulfilling relationships, to be treated with love and respect and handled delicately by whomever they have entrusted their hearts to.

My passion is ladies! I'm not a feminist, not at all. Neither am I a male-basher. But I recognise the special qualities that God has blessed women with. You better believe it, God loves women (specially)!

I hope to talk about a wide range of issues that are important to young ladies, using personal experiences sometimes to buttress a topic and generally facilitate a forum that women would feel free to express themselves, learn from one another and be inspired.

May God help me! xx

For those in a relationship/married (or not), I dedicate this song to you!

Countdown

2009-09-28T16:23:00.001+01:00

Like the Terminator,

"I'll be back" :-)

10 Secrets to a happy Marriage/Relationship

2009-07-02T19:48:00.003+01:00

Hiya I'm Backkkkk!!! lol... I really need to be cautioned by the "Blog Police"...
I have just been too lazy/busy/occupied to blog in the past few days + personal drama (s).. But hopefully this time I am back-ish.. I remember my note that stated that I would blog so much, Naija bloggers award would have no choice but to give (dash) me all the awards available... Now I guess the only award I would be eligible for would be... "Oh please get off blogger and get a life" award.. I can imagine my total joy (surprise/shock/pain/betrayal and everything in-between) that I would be feeling lol.. I would have to think of a good speech for that one.. That should keep me sufficiently busy for the next few days (hehe, I already have a good excuse if I don't blog soon-ish)
Anyways, how have you good people of blogville been? I have missed you all, from the witty to the inspirational to the feminists, to the good-natured rants to the tales of motherhood to the gossips (information) .. I haven't even had enough time to go blog-trotting, it is well, I shall repent of my deviant ways and reform my character :-)

So I have been reading a LOT lately and I just have to recommend these authors - Francine Rivers (I think I may have mentioned her before but just in case...) and Karen Kingsbury.. These women are just phenomenal! Trust me on this one, you would not be the same after reading their books... they weave real issues such as relationships etc etc into such wonderful fiction, you wouldn't be able to put the book down.. what's more, they do it from a christian point of view that sorts of put the icing on your cake :-). Don't be deceived, it's christian but there's nothing religious or methodic (is that a word?? well we must start using it someday right?:-)

For those who are particularly interested in relationships (as I am) I got this lovely secrets from Karen Kingsbury's book.. It's "10 Secrets to a happy marriage" but I have decided to add "to a successful relationship" as well for it helps whether you are in marriage or in a romantic/platonic relationship.. It was so brilliant I just had to share with you beautiful people..

....And if like me you want to write it up boldly and stick it up your bedroom wall, where you can wake up to reading it each day and see it before you retire for the night so you can even dream about it then please by all means do so!
More importantly, please make an effort to actually practice it and not just read it, at first it may be difficult but I'm sure in the end it would be well worth it!!

1. God has you here to serve one another. Love acted out is serving.

2. Women need respect and nurturing. Love your wife so she knows you'd lay your life down for her. Share a hobby - find something you can do to have fun together. Continue to date her and admire her.

3. Laugh often.

4. Be patient. Love crumbles under the weight of unmet expectations.

5. Spend more time trying to fix yourself than your spouse.

6. Keep short accounts. The bible says "Do not let the sun go down while you are angry. Make it a habit to forgive.

7. Determine upfront that divorce is not an option.

8. Learn about love languages. Not all people show love or receive it the same way. You want a back rub and your spouse wants a clean kitchen. The love languages are fairly simple: Acts of Service, Quality time, Physical Touch, Gifts and Words of Affirmation.. Learn them. Love is better received when it is in the language that person speaks.

9. Words of affirmation are a love language for ALL men.

10. Men are born to be leaders. He cannot lead unless she gives him the confidence to do so. If you love your husband, build him up. Confident men do not seek love outside the home.

PS I was actually trying to see which one of them was my favourite and to be honest I couldn't quite decide, they are all soo true!

PPS I think EVERYONE should read the book "THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES" by Gary Chapman. Simply put, you will be amazed and the way you relate with people would change :-) (and no Gary Chapman did not pay me for the advert lol)

PPPS I listened to Verastic's blog radio for the first time this afternoon and I just want to say Congratulations girl, you're definitely a star!

My Dear Daddy 2

2009-06-20T22:48:00.002+01:00

My dear daddy,

How are you my first love? I missed writing to you last week and I'm sorry. I was soo tired out from all that happened that day, I really wanted to write to you but I was really exhausted. I know that you understand 'cause all through the day I could feel you so close through the immense success of the day. I smile with joy and I'm so proud that I have such a great father, daddy you make me GLAD!

My strength, my joy, my peace, the one that completes me, I want to thank you for the past week (well 2 weeks as it were, as I did not get the opportunity to say so last week). I don't really know what to say or rather where to start from....

I will just say one specific thing that made me think during the past week.. I thank you for Mr E's birthday last week. Remember how it used to be with him early last year, I asked and begged you for strength to get over him and still be able to live through it :-) He is a good man but wasn't the good man for me. As I wished him happy birthday, I smiled as I realised that I can talk to him now with my emotions intact and not all over the place :-) Thank you for allowing us to still be friends and more so for all the lessons that that period taught me!

Thank you for giving me back my self-esteem and self-worth, thank you for teaching me how to love and appreciate myself. Thank you for allowing me to make mistakes that I boasted "was beyond me" but then realised that anyone can be gullible by their own strength but you give grace to do all things.

Thank you that you made it easy for me to forgive and forget the past including myself, so I did not wallow in self pity and self condemnation but rather used the experience to be in a better position to love, understand and talk to people who are going trough similar situations.

Thank you for Mr E, he is my very good friend and I am glad I met him.

Thank you for wonderful and amazing friends! Oh daddy, the friends you have blessed me with are toooo much, please bless them extra special this week... thank you :-)

Tomorrow is father's day and even as the world celebrates fathers all over, I would like to say an early HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to the best daddy in the whole wide universe.

I love you always daddy.

Me,
Oneplustheone
xxxx

PS Daddy can you please let Pink -Satin experience the joy of going to church as much as I do? She said she wishes she gets excited about it like I do. Please daddy, let her see that side of you so that she can also LOVEEE going to church like me and David (who said he was glad when they said unto him, "let us go into the house of the Lord). Thank you daddy :-)

Family Post: MUM 101

2009-06-12T23:49:00.003+01:00

When I grow up, I want to be like my mum...

Yes, I want to be like one of the greatest women I know...

I want to love God as much as she does.. Honestly, she is a role model for honour and respect to her daddy.

I want to be full of love and loyalty like her... Growing up with my mum was such a delight, she made us (me and my siblings) aware that she loved us VERY much. Even though there were times when I could have sworn that she must have adopted me especially when she disciplined us silly (trust me, my mother did not understand how to spare the rod) yet, she would draw us close just afterwards and explain why she "had" to do what she did.

I want to be fuelled by passion for my dreams and aspirations like her...I know passion is embedded in the DNA of women, nevertheless permit me to say that my mum's is worthy of mention. When she believes in something she would not hesitate or be shy to go after it. My mum is a fierce activist, not afraid to STAND for what she believes in..

I want to be as intelligent, hardworking and clever as her.... She comes top of her class (whether in school, church or playground lol). I remember once going to her office and one of her bosses was like "you should be proud of her, she is so clever" and I beamed in my little heart, with my little self thinking "WOW, go mum!" :-)

I want to be as creative as she is.. She made growing up sooooo much fun, my goodness "Oh why don't we do it a bit differently this time" "If you do all your chores in time, we would go for lunch at xyz"

I want to be as beautiful as she is... Beautiful nice skin, nice legs, nice smile, great dress sense.. I hope I look like (better lol) you at your age. People say to me "Oh she looks more like your sister" (I smile in Spanish)

.....I am not writing this to flatter or boast or... rather I know that family values are being lost again and again in today's world so my quota to today's world (lol) is to make Friday "Family Post".. I hope to extol the virtues of members of the (my) family and take out time to "count" their worth in order to appreciate them even though sometimes they make us want to pull our hair out hehe (I'm sure you understand...)

I'm sure if you think of it, your post would be (ok, maybe not :-) longer than mine....

God bless xx

2009-06-12T01:28:00.003+01:00

Hey,

Sometimes, you feel so down and so low, you just need an uplifting...

Sometimes everything seems to be falling apart all at once and you just wish someone would come and rescue you from it all..

Sometimes all hope seems to have gone, nowhere to turn, no one really seems to understand..

Sometimes it seems like the troubles don't want to go away and there really isn't any help in sight....

Sometimes you have prayed and praised and done all the "good" things, yet nothing seems to be happening...

Sometimes even your loved ones are no where to be found and even the one you hold dearest can't be there for you...

Sometimes you wish the smiles that others see are really true and not the deep cry that goes on inside...

Sometimes you just want to give it all up...

....I heard this song again recently and for some reason it spoke to me so so deeply...

"Just take a look at where you've been and where you are now.."

"Hasn't He always come through for you

"He'll do it again....."

I pray that for you, you will laugh again, you will dance again, you will have hope again, you will believe in yourself again, you will dust yourself up and try again.....

Honey, things will work out again; you definitely may not know how and you may not even know when but be assured He WILL do it again!

God bless xx

My Dear Daddy

2009-06-06T20:24:00.003+01:00

Dear Daddy,

I love you and I want you to know that I do. I know you can see that I love you but I wish I could express it better. How are you today? I know that sometimes I get caught up in my own state that I forget to enquire about you. Sometimes, it's even because I don't think you need me to ask for I know that you are always good. Nevertheless, today I want to take the opportunity to ask "Daddy hope you are alright and the throne is comfortable".

You have taught me that the best way to start conversations with you is to exalt your name and person with words of praise and adoration. So, this is for you my King, my Love, the owner of heaven and earth, the ancient of days, always constant and never changing, the one to whom all power in heaven and on earth belongs to, my healer, my provider, my dearest and best friend, my faithful father. I take immense pleasure in adoring you.

Daddy, I have noticed that my fellow blogging brothers and sisters have decided to take out a day of the week to say "thank you".. they call it different titles "Thankful Mondays", "Thankful Posts" "I Give Thanks Today". Whenever I read these posts, I am reminded of your goodness to us all and although I may not have listed them in the past, I definitely appreciate every one of them and say a big "THANK YOU". You know I can be a "copy-cat" especially when it comes to doing things for you, so I have made up my mind that I shall copy these thankful posts too.. I know that a thankful heart always receives more, so I would not allow my "more" to pass me by. Besides dad, I do it because I love you and I want to make you smile.

I will do mine a bit differently though, I will write you a weekly letter to gist with you in addition to saying thank you (you know I love your attention :-) and here's my first one. I really hope I would be able to keep up to date with them, you know me and my procrastination, I need your help in that area (pretty please with Jesus on it :-)

Thank you for the lovely weather that we have had in the past week, oh it was soo lovely and soo hot, I actually longed for a bit of cold! Alas the cold came just when I shaved my legs ready for my shorts. I guess maybe you didn't want me exposing too much leg lol (but I promise it wasn't too short and I was going to the beach too). Can you please make the sun come back before the hair grows back? Thank you :-)

Then how can I forget what happened on Thursday.. I remember waking up thinking "let this pass over too" but then I remembered the chorus of the song I heard just the day before "you may not know how, you may not know when but He would do it again" and then I became encouraged and everything seemed like it was going to be alright in the end and yes it was (I smile at thought), thank you soo much, you are too much!

Wow, Daddy I have only mentioned 2 things and I have written so long! Let me just say this, I thank you for Monday (the honour bestowed), Tuesday, Wednesday (the lady that came and the meeting), Thursday (making something out of nothing), Friday(oh, Friday was too much! I was, and still am overwhelmed), for today (even in the rain... wow) and tomorrow (with you, I know it's going to be alright!)

I can't wait to be in church tomorrow, just like David... "I was glad when they said unto me, let us go into the house of the Lord" and it's thanksgiving Sunday too, yipeeee!!!! (praises, dance and food hehe)...

I love you dad, you mean the world to mean...

Me,

Oneplustheone xxxx

Memoirs of an ageing Young-y

2009-05-26T01:06:00.003+01:00

I have blogged so many times in my head... If only there was ever such a thing as "mental" blogging... fantastica! As I go about my day I see or notice something that I think "Oh I definately need to blog about that" Infact, I already start with the intro and all but sadly that's where it all ends...

Unfortunately this is true about some ideas/dreams that we have - They start and end in our minds.. ...
If only we could buy and sell/trade/engage in business/write novels/talk to that person/say I'm sorry/say I Love you, in and through our minds.. How wonderful would that be!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My body feels as though it has been dragged through a grinding mill, why? well beacuse I jumped and threw my hands in the air -a la concert style- for all of about 30mins yesterday... I was saying to my friends, "Oh my, I think I'm getting old! (or maybe just plain unfit)" In the past, I was usually called to be at the fore-front of such craziness and I gleefully led such (excruciating) aerobics display but this time 'round, a younger (and more fit/lithe/slim) individual was asked to lead the jumping and flaying of hands!

I didn't feel bad/neglected about it but it made me realise a few home-truths:

1. There's always going to be a younger person
2. I would not be young forever
3. Enjoy your glory days for no matter how much you think they would last forever something always happens - AGE, that's what! (Ask Elizabeth Taylor {sadly, I even had to google her to remember her last name})
4. Achieve as much as you can today, tomorrow do even more and next week, break all past personal records.

This is not to scare, frighten or make you hate growing up, rather I hope it makes you appreciate today more, the drive, energy and strength you have at each stage of your life.. for it's there for a purpose - to be used in the measure it's been given. As a youngster remember to dance hard, play hard, laugh hard, work hard, pray hard, serve God hard, pursue and work towards your dream hard... In doing that, you lay for yourself a foundation to ensure that there wouldn't be room for regrets and "what ifs" later in life... Enjoy every moment and stage as it ought to be..

So that when you are 60 and you see a teenager dancing like there's no tomorrow, you would only smile and say.. "allow him/her it's their time, I remember when I was his/her age.." without any bitterness or grudge...

So that when you are 75, you can proudly look back on your achievements and fruits of your hard work.

So that when you are 90 you can be celebrated by the world and the youngsters strive to display their energy before you (Ask Nelson Mandela {I didn't have to google him :-)

God bless xx

Daddy's Angry Again

2009-05-24T22:49:00.000+01:00

Daddy's angry again.
He's shouting and screaming
Using bad words
I didn't do anything
No, nothing major
I only asked for money for fees
He hates when I come with these requests
They seem to get to him so
Not that he doesn't love me
No, no he does
So very much
Then why is he so upset at me?
I didn't impose the fees
If I had my way there wouldn't be any
Maybe I should keep quiet
But then I would be kicked out of school
Then he would be MADDDD
Maybe I should wait longer
But then it would leave him less time to source for the money
He would still be MADD
.......
Why did we become poor?
Daddy is a good man
Hardworking and honest
Loyal and faithful
Loves and obeys God
Why did things become so tough
Why is he angry at the mention of money?
When would we be rich again?
When would money not be a problem?
Why is the world so unfair?

But like Psalm 126 v 5-6
I will wait
I have to wait
I can only wait

(For all those in the "waiting" period - whatever it may be, marriage, money, child, success, school, health - God will surely come through for you, He hasn't forgotten you. Although it seems as if the wait would never end.. remember "even if your father and your mother forsake you He would not leave you" (Psalm 91v10) Hold on, hold on, hold on.... Don't be discouraged He loves you more than you know. After crying all night, your joy would come in the morning...

If nothing else, remember: God loves you sooooo much!

Something (NOT) for the Examination Hall

2009-05-13T21:23:00.005+01:00

Hiya!

Well, since I am not quite able to put up a post, I thought I might as well leave for you good people of blogville something to laugh about. In honour of the fact that a lot of people are in the middle of exams/assessments/courseworks, here are some recommendations for "What to do in an exam hall if you don't know any answer to the questions asked" culled from this facebook group

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?profile=1&id=285000573#/group.php?gid=2249470023

Disclaimer* Please do not try this at home... If you do, you will have only yourself to blame! lol

ENJOY!

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Be as vulgar as possible during the exam, make sure every sentence has every other word as a swear word or some sexual innuendo for example.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

25. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

26. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

28. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

29. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

30. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

31. Fake an orgasm. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #__ moved you, deeply

32. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

33. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!"

34. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc. . . sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

35. In the middle of the exam stand up and yell 'they’re coming for me!' and run out.

......And my advice?? If you don't know any of the answers to the questions, please bend your head low and pray like your life depended on it.. (Well that may actually well be the case hehe)

God bless xx

Allow me to Introduce (2).....

2009-05-08T18:00:00.008+01:00

In the spirit of introducing and also supporting the wonderful bloggers that are BSNC and Miss FlyHigh, here's the hottest thing to hit blogville *drum-roll please*

http://touring-our-minds.blogspot.com/

It's a new blog recently launched by a trio of beautiful and articualate ladies MissFlyHigh, Brown Skin Naija Chic aka BSNC and Bibi..

It's only just started and has an audio welcome/introduction post but judging from the team's individual blogs, you are in for a treat!

Check it out/include in your blogroll and "firsssssst" it as much as possible lol

Good job ladies!

God bless xx

Allow Me To Introduce......

2009-05-07T18:05:00.003+01:00

Hiya!!

I was just going through some of my group pages on facebook (yeah I do that :-) when I saw a link that led me to, and introduced me to this lovely lovely Nigerian singer... I can't believe I am just hearing about her and hearing the song.. I'm sure many people have already heard the song but it's new to me and I am sooo loving it..

Allow me to introduce (or re-introduce as the case may be) this beautiful, immensely talented, lively, spirited young lady, from the blessed country that is Nigeria in the coast of West Africa...*drum-roll please* JAHDIEL!

Like I said, I don't really know a lot about her, only what I see from her music videos (lame, I know) but she has such a likeable personality :-)... I would definitely look out for her and bring you more info if I get any.. (I know, I know and you are welcome :-)

I have only been opportuned to listen to 2 of this songstress/minister's songs and they are Heritage and Eloheeka. The former is my favourite of the two but I assure you that they are both worth a listen.... As usual, when I "discover" a new song, it goes on repeat on my laptop....((I play and play until I wear myself out with it, hehe)

Her voice is sonorous and the rhythm infectious... very easy to love.. If you liked "wellu wellu" from Sammie Okposo or "Woekilemo" by Asu Ekiye you would fall in love with Heritage. If your taste is more upbeat/soft rock a la RoofTop MCs then Eloheeka would be your thing.

I will try to upload the video (I need lessons!) but if not, listen to Heritage HERE and Eloheeka http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBy_rTJ5ac0

p.s Oh wow... My very first blog miracle!! I learnt how to put a video up and it's really as easy as ABC (Ignorance truly is a disease...:-)

God bless xx

DILEMMA

2009-05-04T16:50:00.003+01:00

Oh I have been so bad at updating this blog....
Whatever happened to my resolution??
I refuse to slack.. no way! :-)
I haven't neglected my blog rounds though, blogs can be oh so addictive...

What would you do if your sister's husband started making advances at you??
My friend was in this kind of situation and she was soo upset about it (putting it mildly). As with many African families, it's not new for one to house his/her sibling, my friend (let's call her Suzy) was leaving with her sister, sister's husband and kids. Everything was peachy and everyone got along so well - she and the sis' hussy were quite close in the older brother/sister kinda way, she and sis had a loving relationship and she loved the kids like her own.

Unfortunately, recently hussy starts to act up and "mistakenly" brush past her in the corridor, make references to her "endowments" and how lucky her husband would be and blah.. The thing is she didn't know how to tell her sis cause she knew it would totally crush her and may affect her marriage (bear in mind, that hussy treated her sis really well and they seemed to have something good going on, they were both Christians as well). She couldn't tell their parents either cause she knew it would spoil the good relationship they had as in-laws, she couldn't speak to people cause she was just embarrassed about the whole thing!

Eventually she had to speak about it to her sis who of course didn't take it so well and refused to believe it, she confided in her mum who was naturally upset at the whole thing but begged her to keep from letting their father know as he would go ballistic.
Sis confronts hussy, he vehemently denies it and Suzy feels even worse and like a home-wrecker but then she had to say it as it was getting out of hand and she respected both sis and hussy too much to keep quiet about it....

Thinking about it, what would I do in that position (God forbid) but truly it could happen to anyone, be it brother-in-law, uncle-in-law, step father, friend's husband etc.. What would make it difficult would be if you all had a good rapport and things had to change as a result... Why do men go after such close relatives even if they want to stray?

My thoughts are that sometimes, it's not about the guys being promiscuous, it's more about the opportunity presenting itself (don't get me wrong, I don't for one moment excuse the men as they are at fault) but, imagine a young (beautiful) woman in the house, who cooks your meals, takes care of your children and home, is there to listen to you without the judging looks/tones of your wife, who respects you.... all the things your wife does, only thing is she's not sharing your bed... Attraction would certainly build and proximity breeds "unholy" fondness..

It's good to be a custodian to relatives and so on, furthermore, it's good to have them around to help/keep company... but hmm sometimes it's hard for guys not to get drawn to ladies they see/smell/breathe on a daily basis...
Please guys hold yourselves, not everything desirable is a must have, communicate openly with your other half, control your desires and like the bible says, "let every man possess his vessel" not the vessel possessing the man....

God bless xxxx

Pass You By - A Boyz II Men Lesson

2009-04-24T19:52:00.005+01:00

So I was doing my blog- round with some Boyz II Men playing softly in the background.. I was reading all the comments for my last post (thanks for your comments guys!) Yeah so, this song by BoyZ II Men came up and when I heard the chorus I was like wow so true.. Recently I have been reading/hearing how ladies go through this "wrong love" syndrome.. It's as old as old itself and the funny thing is one would have thought that by now we all will be wiser...I'm sure guys also go through this albeit very rarely..

So why do ladies "stick it out" with a guy that maltreats them? There are many "good" reasons that have been given for staying in such a relationship..."Oh I love him so much", "it's really not that bad, it's only when I upset him or when he is angry/drunk/depressed", "he loves me a lot that's why he acts like that when he gets jealous", "I'm the one that he really loves, the other girls are the ones who keep running after him", "it's normal in all relationships, every one has up and down moments"......too many reasons/excuses, yet all not valid for staying with someone who would end up killing you deep inside...
So here are excerpts from the song, it's self-explanatory really,

"Don't have to stay with someone

That makes you cry

You'll end up killing all the love you have inside

Can't hope to see the sun

If you don't open your eyes

Girl don't let real love pass you by"

If he makes you cry, if he makes you sad, if he makes you lose your self esteem, leave, don't stay with him... If he makes you an emotional yoyo- high one second and so low the next- he is slowly killing the essence of you.. No one should ever be allowed to do that to you. Sad thing is if you stay with him, you will miss out on the opportunity to open your eyes and your heart to another person worthy of your love.

It's funny how we think "its him or no other", trust me, you would never find out the truth if you continue to stay with him...remember just as the saying goes .." a child thinks his father's farm is the biggest and the best until he goes out and sees the neighbours".. You can definately do better..

The beginning of the song talks about how amazing the girl was

"She was like nothing I'd ever known

Her eyes shine like diamonds, in a field of snow"...

YOU ARE A STAR, PRICELESS, BEAUTIFULLY AND WONDERFULLY CREATED.. You need to be with someone who not only knows and says it but makes you feel that way..You need a man who would celebrate you just as you do to him. Don't settle for any less...

"You can see the glow slowly fading from her eyes

Though she denies her pain and her dismay"

A good man makes you feel like you can "touch the sky" just as Celine Dion sang but the wrong one takes away the sparkle from your eyes, you become a shadow of yourself.. if he does that to you, please don't stay. there's potential in you that the right sort of loving releases, don't deny your destiny the opportunity to manifest.. don't deny yourself the experience of true joy and fulfillment..

Rememember, you deserve a good man, it's not only a select few that are destined to be loved, EVERYONE is entitled to it, don't let him cheat you out of it, more importantly, don't cheat yourself.. It's a decision you have to make. It may seem hard or even impossible but do yourself a favour... If you don't take off the rag, you would not be able to wear the princely robe, if you don't let it go, the good man waiting round the corner would pass you by...

God wants only the best for you...let it go and let Him show you what real love is
xx

Here's the song....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aDCfWdEQ28

Case of the Ex

2009-04-22T02:24:00.004+01:00

I just finished chatting with the ex.... He was the one I could say I was actually "crazy" about... There was just this connection that was special...He was the one guy that I was just soo attracted to.. Not because he was drop dead gorgeous (brother is good-looking though) but that wasn't the main thing, that's when I realised how the deeper you felt for a guy influenced how physically attracted you were to him...

So we were chatting on messenger today and catching up, laughing and stuff (even the littlest things are funny when we talk) I guess there's just this compatibility factor...

Yeah, so today I finally told him about the fact that I was seeing someone. I wasn't hiding it but we havent spoken in a while.. It was a bit...... I don't know..

I love my boyfriend but sometimes especially at this early stage, I get doubts sometimes (yeah, I was going to ask about that, is that normal at the beginning of relationships? Is it normal to ask questions like "have I made the right decision? Definately definately surely sure?) Like I mentioned in my earlier post here, though I sometimes have doubts, sometimes I am soo sure... So I was wondering if that was normal.. hmmm

But as me and the ex were talking, I started to reminisce on the old days and in truth I miss him, but I love my boyfriend....I loveD the ex but I love by boyfriend...

So I asked myself the question I have always pondered on, when you fall in love, what happens when things don't work out, was it that it wasn't really love in the first place? Do you stop loving the person? Can you stop loving someone? Is it possible to stop loving someone? If it is, what do you now feel for the person if you don't hate them? Would the person forever have a special place? If yes, then doesn't that put a strain on your current relationship?

I wonder, I just wonder (For those who watched "Third-Eye :-)

So any takers??
xx

Daddy's Angry Again

2009-04-20T21:07:00.007+01:00

Baby, Why haven't you called?

2009-04-20T17:18:00.008+01:00

Oh I can't wait to finish this project so I can get my life back!! lol

I want to bloggggggggggg! I actually now prefer it to facebook *gasp, shock horror* lol. But blogville + citizens are too much, wonderful people......And one would never guess how addictive it is, like the pringles advert, "once you pop, you can't stop" erhmm more like "once you start you just keep going, from one link to another and another 'nother....."

So yeah last week I was walking back home from the library with two guys and they were having this conversation (without me), I didn't know them but we were walking together - long story)....Anyways the conversation went something like this:

Guy 1: All she wants to do is talk on the phone all the time. I told her at the beginning that I am not a phone kinda guy and she was like ok but now its call this, call that!
Guy 2: Oh yours is better, mine just wants to text all day, I'm like 'what the...'

I couldnt really contribute to the convo as I was not invited (lol) but I was just smiling to myself like "so it's a general phenomenon"....Funny thing was that me and my friends were just talking about how we wished our boyfriends would call more and more importantly do it without us prompting them to, why they don't like talking on the phone etc etc...

Usually my convo with the bfriend is *phone rings*, I see his name, I get excited and then...

Me: It's not fair, you don't love me anymore, since morning I havent spoken to you!
Him: But I spoke to you this morning!
Me: That wasn't a conversation, it was only for 5mins...
Him: *Confused silence*

But really, why don't guys understand the importance of being on the phone for ages? I know ladies talk a lot (As for me, I can be given a Nobel prize for my outstanding contribution to the art of talking...lol). Thing is he understands and indulges me most times (bless him) but then sometimes it's not convenient for him esp late at night after a long day and he's like "darling, I am tired" and I am like but "love is sacrifice" :-)

I have a feeling that I am not the only chic that thinks this way (or am I?? That would be a scary thought) But I know countless times when my friends (who by the way, have spoken to the bf recently) would pick up their ringing phones and be like (ever so softly) "Babyyy, why haven't you called me since?"

PS Do guys get irritated by this?
PPS I havent spoken to the boyfriend today sooo he's kinda in for the question (he called when I was asleep this morning so that doesn't count right? :-)

God bless
xx

Because I'm worth it!

2009-04-17T16:48:00.005+01:00

Just checking in.....

I only started reading blogs properly late last year, thinking before then that it was a huge waste of time (lol, now i gladly eat my words!). I got introduced (addicted) to blogville through Linda Ikeji (Love her blog, really down to earth). It was recommended to me by my mum who is such a big fan.. The surprising thing is that usually my mum is not so into social networks, blogs etc, I'm sure the only function the internet served her was to check her e-mail like once in a yellow moon. Therefore her loving Linda Ikeji's blog was a big(s) deal lol.

Not until I started following her write-ups did I come to appreciate blogging, infact I must admit that Linda inspired me to starting my own blog!! I love the way she is soo open and honest about her views and opinions not minding if everyone concurs or not. Before I started reading her blog, I hadn't heard a lot about her, although I have come to realise that she's one of Nigeria's top models and young female entrepreneurs.... Nigeria's own Tyra Banks! You go girl!!!

Back to life and living, it's so easy to forget to stop and appreciate life. We are all busy with living and trying to survive in this crazy crazy world!! The sad thing is after everything, we would still die, that's a harsh certainty... The only thing that makes all our struggling worthwhile is what we choose to do with our life whilst alive....

There's a saying which goes "when life gives you lemons, make lemonades". I know it's easier said than done but in order to achieve a fulfilling life, one has to work towards it. Appreciate the important things in life, learn to say "I love you" even if sometimes they don't say it back, saying it makes you feel good! Learn to express yourself..even if people don't like it, that's who you are and changing that would only make them happy and you miserable. One important thing to always remember is that you feel most comfortable in your own skin, be yourself at all times!!!

Learn to take corrections and accept criticism in good faith. RESPECT yourself. Don't allow anyone take you for granted, you are special and unique. It's not just a saying, it's actually true. The way you comport youself determines the way people treat you. When you believe something or believe in something, it reflects in your actions. Act like you believe in yourself, act like you believe that you are one of a kind! Improve your self-esteem, feel good about yourself.

Don't forget to treat others the way you want to be treated, remember what goes around comes around and you only reap what you sow.

Trust in God, He's the only one that makes it all worth it... He thinks the world of you, when you imagine that someone sooo great, who could have a pick of who to love, chose you to just love......haaa, that's a huge ego-booster. He doesn't joke with you so why should mere man? Because of Him you are soo special!! Hold that thought, don't let what "he said" or "she said" discourage you, You are worth it!!

xx

Random Thoughts

2009-04-16T20:51:00.003+01:00

I am soo buoyed over with work, aaargghhh!
Someone PLEASE get me out here!
I miss my boyfriend, wish I could see him right now!
I am not meant to be on blogsville until after the end of the day.
I am sorry I have to break that rule today.
I am tired of researching.
I want my stress-free, essay-free, research-free life back!
I want to sleep, wake-up, eat, sleep, wake-up, eat....(You get my drift)
Education is very tasking and mind-numbing.
Why do people go on and on about it!?
Did I forget to mention that I want to see my boooo?
My bad! Ok, I want to see him, I miss him :-)
I have a new toaster (make that 2)
It's funny how the dating scene is dry UNTIL you get off it then it starts raining men.
Life is full of irony(s) like that.
Ok enough rambling.
Back to work... (Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!)

(That felt good :-)
Hugs, kisses, God bless xx

Knock Knock..

2009-04-14T23:37:00.002+01:00

Hiya blogville!!

See I love you sooo much that rather than studying I am sneaking to do a quick post :-)

Anyways, although I cannot write a full post at the moment I thought to share this lovely joke(s) with y'all...

Special shout out to Ms FlyHigh and Doll. I really and truly appreciate your comments, you guys ROCK!!

Ways girls turn (UN)romantic guys down

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like
yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon .I've been looking for a face
like yours!!!

HE: Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake
twice!!!

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share!!!

HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!

HE: Your face must turn a few heads!
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs!!!

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!!!

HE: Do you think it was fate which brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your
wildest dreams

Random + Laying it Bare

2009-04-13T21:01:00.004+01:00

Hiya!

- I am all tied up with my final project (Not finding it funny, can't wait for it to be ALL OVER!!)
- But I still have time for blog rounds and facebook :-) Maybe I should quit..the latter.
- I have discovered some new blog *treasures* (You guys are bad for my academic life... but I love you really, lol) - Ms FlyHigh, AnotherShot, Buttercup, Just...Toluwa

And yeah, I got this write-up (with permission) to share...It makes a lot of sense...enjoy!

WRITE THE VISION
‘Then the Lord answered me and said:
“Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it” Habakkuk 2v3 (NKJV)

It’s funny how we make extensive and comprehensive preparations for many things in our lives: choice schools we want to attend, career we want to pursue, houses we want to live in, our dream cars and so on but we often fail to plan properly for one of the most important stages in our lives: Marriage.

Most people know they want to get married one day, that’s part of the success in life but unfortunately for many the only detail they have of the institution is that they want; a good spouse, a very good marriage and very very good children.

It’s important to understand that marriage itself is ordained by God and only Him can sustain a good marriage, but it is also important as individuals to prepare and make plans for it. The person one chooses to spend the better part of his or her life with is very important and instrumental to having a successful relationship hence a big emphasis on choosing the right partner. We often wait for the ideal man or woman to come our way but the question is “Who is your ideal partner?” Would you be able to identify him/her if they came knocking on your door? I know many people would be quick to say a resounding yes but let’s hold on for one minute and think “How?”

It’s easy to assume that you would know when they come but unfortunately, reality is always not as easy as it seems. Let’s take for example buying your dream car. Would you say “I would know immediately I saw it that that’s the one”?. The guess is probably not. The reason being, first and foremost, before you have a “dream” car, you must have been thinking about it for a while. You must have made your judgement based on many criteria, how it fits your lifestyle, brand, colour, something you would be fully proud of, to mention a few. For those who are even more passionate, it doesn’t end there, you take a step further in investigating its potential, comparing its performance with other brands, life span, engine capacity, fuel gauge, year it was manufactured; basically the stuff it’s made of. You don’t walk into an automobile shop saying I want a good car and drive off with the first one that the dealer presents to you.

If one can plan so extensively for a car, then it is not too hard to come to the conclusion that one’s life partner should involve even more precision. If it helps, “write down the vision”.
Put in writing the qualities you want in a partner, including both the important – relationship with God, good hygiene, and the trivial- food preference, handling of the toothpaste.. Write it out in scale of preference, that is, from most important to least important. Your list may be unique to you because what is important to you may not be to another person but then remember it’s your relationship not any others’.

A lot of people are against having a “list” arguing that it makes one too choosy but then let’s analyse its importance. First of all, “What if you are particular about the person whom you choose to give yourself to as long as you both shall live?” You as an individual are priceless; God makes us to understand in His word that you are “fearfully and wonderfully made” and the “apple of His eyes”. You are so important and worthy, He sent His only son to die for you. Furthermore, even physically, your mother paid a high price of birth pain to bring you forth so why would you not settle for anything but the best? You are worth it!

Secondly I would rather regard it as being prepared rather than being choosy. Knowing what you want makes it easy to identify the person. If you know what you are looking for, you wouldn’t need to go through the rigours of “trial and error” before meeting them as you are armed with enough information. It also helps to prevent heart-ache and heart break as you don’t wait to be in an emotionally-involved relationship before finding out if he/she is ideal. Not every Tom, Dick or Harry would have access to your heart.

Finally it makes you more focused. You have a goal and a vision and you are “running with it”. You are able to pray consistently and specifically about the qualities you desire and you have even more clarity on what is important and what is not, what you can do without and what is essential.

It is important to note that for some people, “writing the vision” may become an obsessive task and if not done prayerfully and with wisdom may become just a fantasy. Remember that you are going to marry a human being; flesh and blood. Someone, who like you is not perfect, therefore make allowances for them to fall short sometimes. Nevertheless, ensure that they don’t fall short of those fundamental things you cannot live without for the rest of your life not just a short period. Also, be open to direction from God at all times, never go at it alone. If you are willing He is. He would bless you with only the best.

Go on…….Write the Vision!

The One??

2009-04-01T14:01:00.004+01:00

Quick post..

- I am officially in a relationship!

- He makes me smile from within...

- Sometimes I am scared/have doubts about it

- Most times I am sooo sure about it

- I think about him and "us" like consistently!

- I have started to consciously pray for him (one time, before my mother, shame on me :-)

- I could talk to him for hours, hang up and then want to call him straight away

- I have some issues that even I didn't realise until recently :-)

- I could be a DRAMA queen!

- He understands and is very patient..

I look forward to this new journey/ride/experience with a lot of excitement/fear/joy/hmm../delight/anticipation/ignorance/faith/trust/love....

I'm grateful to God....
xxxx

Here Today....(May be) Gone Tomorrow

2009-03-24T11:41:00.003Z

I know a lot of people have heard about the death of Reality TV star Jade Goody in the early hours of Sunday morning at the young age of 27...

It was sad hearing that this young lady had really gone.
I remember when I first heard that she was diagonised with the ugly scourge that is Cancer (Read about it here)I was like wow this lady's middle name is drama!
At the time, Jade Goody was fresh from a racial scandal in the Celebrity Big Brother House and was away in India trying to redeem her image .
One obvious thing about Jade's life was that everything seemed to happen so fast.... Infact if she were African, people would have said she probably knew she was going to live a such a short life hence her very "fast" life....

At the age of 19, she entered the Big Brother House and stood out (for being outrageously ignorant of general knowledge). Although she didn't win, she emerged the most popular housemate till date of the show.

Before we could spell JADE, she went on to be a huge success and in a blink of the eye as it were, Jade Goody became a household name: on our TV screens, on our bedside table (on her perfume bottle), on our reading table (her biography) and so on.... She was living the dream, a real grass to grace story.. Many times, she was accused of acting inappropriately, almost as if her upbringing and humble background conflicted with the level of sudden stardom and fame.....It was soo much in such a short time, perhaps she needed time adjusting...

But then again, it had to happen so fast because she wasn't going to be around for very long..... I am happy that Jade was able to achieve what many only dream about through their long lifetime. It seemed as if she was all up in our faces, but she needed to be because we wouldn't see her for too long..

I am a firm believer in that the quality of a man's life is not how long but how well...What's the point of living a 100 miserable years if you can have 40 excellent ones? We all pray for long life but we also pray for good lives.....

What's more important and what for me was the icing on her cake was that in the end she sought a relationship with God, she also went on to have her and her sons christened. It was a beautiful thing to hear...Everything would have been a waste if after all, she died without Jesus. She made the best decision ever and sealed not just her here but her after....A wise woman indeed.

So, her story has made me think, if I died now, what would be my story? Do I have a story? What am I doing to add quality to my life? Do I just live everyday as though it were fleeting? How can I improve myself?

These are questions you should ask yourself too, we may be here today but gone tomorrow..

May God help us!!
xxxx

What's your purpose?

2009-03-19T23:23:00.005Z

Hiya!

I got this lovely article sent to my email and I thought it would inspire at least one person (hope it does)..... It's definately worth reading, DON'T BE DISCOURAGED BY IT'S LENGTH lol...
Trust me you would be a better person at the end of it, ENJOY!!

Here's a great interview with Rick Warren. He wrote the Purpose Driven Life, A highly recommended book.

You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having 'wealth' from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren,

'Purpose Driven Life ' author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California
In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life?
And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.
One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.
I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.
We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.
The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.
We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.
This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.
I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.
Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.
No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.
And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for..
You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems:
If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.
We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her- It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.
You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.
Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.
It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.
So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.
First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.
Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.
Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.
Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?
When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.
That's why we're called human beings, not human doings..
Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD..

God bless xxxx

Frankie and Benny's

2009-03-18T23:54:00.002Z

Still on the quest to being blogger of the year 2010!! lol (It's real by fire by force oo lol)

I really don't feel like blogging today but I must NOT relent! hehe

Went to Frankie and Benny's for the first time today...Had the meatball sub sandwich (abt £7.95)..I actually prefer Subway's and that costs me £1.99 on Tuesdays when its the sub of the day lol...Nevertheless, the atmosphere and decor was good..and when it was time to bring out the cake (it was a friend's birthday dinner by the way)it was oh so lovely..There's this thing they do whereby they turn off the lights and then play the "happy birthday" song...and you feel sooo special!! I loved it and I was not even the birthday girl....Definately worth having a birthday there!!

My stomach hurts as I write this now cause I ate when I got home as well and now I am "over-full"...Gluttony is a disease!

I am waiting for a call from a special somebody *big grin*
Thats all for today, I have tried ooooo

Good night people! God bless xxxxx

BLOGGER OF THE YEAR BY FIRE BY FORCE

2009-03-17T18:46:00.006Z

Hiya blogville!

As usual, it's been ages! I haven't particularly left blogville, I have been quite present..only taking a back seat and discovering new and interesting/thought-provoking/funny/ingenious blogs..It has been a beautiful blogsperience :-) I can't remember fully all the really good ones but I would still say my lists would definately include:

Solomonsydelle
Linda Ikeji
Bellanaija
Oluwadee
Good Nigerian Girl
Nigerian Drama Queen
Overwhelmed Nigerian Babe
Christiana Rants
Bumight

(The list is not in any way exhaustive but mehn this bloggers can WRITE! They have re-inspired me to blog! The funny thing is the camaraderie thats exists in this little world known as blogville! The way they relate to each other makes it seem as if they knew each other well, yet for many of them, they are yet to have a one-on-one encounter)

For most of them, I got their info through the Naija bloggers awards... Their blogs are DEFINATELY worth a read.....
So, I have decided that by fire, by force, I must also be a nominee and eventually winner in next year's award hehe..

I thereby solemnly (try to) promise that:

- I would blog at least 3 times a week
- I would not be so obsessed about keeping my identity anonymous, thereby being free-er to talk about daily issues
- I would enjoy every bit of speaking my mind on the forum and not try to make my writing eligible for an Orange prize (that would come in due season lol)
- I would comment so frequently on other's blog that they would probably create another award category specailly for me "Commentator of the year".. and it shall even be a special recognition award.
- I would explore the wide range of "American wonder" that would enable my blog "shine and sparkle" e.g bright lights, pictures, videos, applications....be warned- you may find the blog quite addictive!

Hmmm..that's all I can think of for now....so join me in my quest to being blogger of the year 2010! It's not gonna be easy, I mean just take a look at my fellow contender's blogs *shudders*...I'm shaking!!....but BRING IT ON!!! lol

Peace, love and cocopops (sorry Christiana *wink*)
1 + the One

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

2009-02-14T01:34:00.002Z

It's VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Lol...I just feel it's appropriate to blog on a special day such as this :-) {Yeah right}

So how do you feel today?? Happy/Sad/Indifferent/Jumpy/Nervous/Expectant/Bitter/Wistful/Jealous/Holy (lol)/Naughty/Depressed/Fortunate.....

Hmm, I am actually not that sad hehehe. That would actually make me sad - feeling sad because it's valentine's day.. Why? Please! lol...

But yeah I know the day does hit people (single) HARDDDD!! But I hope you are able to see the beauty in everything today to distract you...Beauty of the sun, beauty of the little baby that's in the pram on your way out, beauty of having a family, beauty of erhmmm EVERYTHING! Beauty, beauty and more beauty!! (Please anything to take your mind off an acute sense of loneliness is accepted)

I lost someone close to me recently and he was buried yesterday Friday the 13th...I love and would miss him a lot! Just wanted to publicly acknowledge him and to say thank you God for a good old life well spent.... One of my worst fear is losing someone close to me, it's such a terrible thing but unfortunatley it's as sure as life itself. For everyone who has lost a loved one, may you receive God's comfort and the strength to carry on.

So, just a thought for today...Hope you enjoy every bit of "love is in the airism" and be pleasantly surprised!! xx

DATING RULES THEY NEVER TELL YOU!!

2009-02-10T02:31:00.006Z

How goes it!!
It's your ever faithful erratic blogger lol.....at least I'm faithful at being very erratic :-)

The topic I want to blog about has been playing around in my head for a long time but my busy (lazy) lifestyle :-) has prevented me from doing so....

I have been thinking lately about past relationships and the things I would change/not do if I had to do it all again!! I wouldn't really say I regret them (oh well, is it not an unwritten rule never to regret past occurences even if the very thought of them make you CRIINGE! lol).....So the thing is; I kinda came up with my own personal dating dos and don'ts - Let's call it a sort off guide lol

*DISCLAIMER*

These are entirely my thoughts...some are personal experiences while others are observations (I haven't experienced EVERYTHING ). I'm sure a lot of you might be able to identify with some of them :-)...Welcome to a bit of my world, buckle uppppp hehehe.....

1. Don't go out with someone for the wrong reasons e.g your friends convince you to, you think "what the heck he would do", to convince people that you are really not gay, his friend is your friend's boyfriend so you might as well go for it.......you would most likely wind up being single again after about 2 days....

2. If he doesn't make you giggle silly, maybe he just isn't the one.

3. It is not possible for EVERY guy to "kinda like you"... It is just not practical. Because he smiled at you at the mall doesn't necessarily mean he wants to introduce you to his folks, neither is the fact that the other guy brushed past you mean he was on his way to purchase an engagement ring for you lol...You're hot but not THAT hot!

4. Don't say yes because he said that he cannot handle being "just friends" with you. It might shock you that he would use the same mouth later to say "we can still be friends".

5. Don't kill yourself over pleasing his sisters/brothers/mum....relatives in general if it's not altar-bound. Yes they love you now but they would also love the new girlfriend. It's nothing personal, he's their blood. Not to worry though, if you were really good, they would speak fondly of you at gatherings and you might even get one or two invitations to special occaisions (only snag is that you would have the pleasure of the "new" girl's company as well).

6. Do pay him compliments. Let him feel that he is a hunk/hot/gorgeous/stud/the best. Men also need affirmation even if they pretend like it does not matter.

7. Don't compare him to anybody especially if he comes up wanting. Not even the hot guy on TV whom you would probably never meet. Trust me, don't don't don't.

8. No matter how close or comfortable you become with him, always make an effort. Endeavour to look good as much as possible. No jumping trousers with white socks expecting unconditional love, he may just run out of supply.....

9. Do let him feel like a man, he's got an ego - deal with it! Allow him to pick the bills, buy you nice things, pay for stuff...Yes you have your money and all but let him....

10. Don't fall for a cheap-skate...If he is more than happy to have you pay for stuff more than necessary please don't "manage", find your square-root and FAST!!

11. Don't pick unnecessary fights so that you keep making up...Don't believe what the Mills and Boon books say....Fighting and making up is exciting but it gets pretty old and is a sure way of ending things quickly.

12. ...Same goes for arrogant and jealous guys. After a while, it becomes a burden and huge frustration.

13. Do state clearly at the beginning what your views on sex outside marrige is from the onset, don't assume that he knows.

14. If he doesnt share your views on pre-marital sex, don't expect that he would "endure" for you. He might do at first when the adrenaline is still pumping fresh but after a while, let's just say his patience might start to wear thin.

15. If he really loves and cares about you, he would define the relationship and not have "something" with you. He would proudly show you off and be "in a relationship" on facebook.

16. Don't be too shattered if he doesn't live up to full expectation all the time. He is human afterall.

17. Do play hard to get when it's necessary but not TOO hard. Forget the 21st century ideology, the thrill is in the chase.

18. If he is cheating on his girlfriend with you, sweetheart he would do the same with you if you end up together...this time it might be your sister or cousin he can't help falling in love with!

19. Do run away from a guy who tells you that him and his girlfriend are "having problems" but he really "doesn't have the heart to break up with her" and "it's you he really wants" yet there's always a recently tagged picture of him and his girlfriend all lovey-dovey. Don't accept any excuses/reasons/explanations no matter how good they are...

20. Do show him frequent displays of affection. Let him know that he is special from the others and you really do care if he had a proper breakfast, lunch, dinner and midnight snack. When you go out together, pay him extra attention so that it is loud and clear that that's "YOUR MAN".

Oh well, that's what I have for today.....I have actually had fun writing but mehn I am getting kinda tired of visiting past memories lol
Whenever I remember anything I would surely put up a 2nd part....... All the best in your relationships!!
Above all, may God give us the wisdom to cater to the individual and peculiar needs of our better-halfs. May we revel in fulfilling and beautiful relationships to the glory of His name.....

Love youuuu loads xxxxxxxx

Time on My Side

2009-01-23T00:48:00.008Z

Today I was going through the Nigerian Future Awards 2009 web page and I felt a bit old :-(
I also felt challenged.

First of all, I would like to commend the wonderful YOUNG trio - the brains behind this amazing project. Kudos to Emilia Asim-Ita, Adebola Williams and Chude Jideonwo. You guys are pace-setters, trail-blazers, fore-runners.....Inspirations!

As I browsed through the profiles of this year's nominees and took note of their ages I was like "wow, I need to up my game". Nigeria has produced some fine young men and women! It gives me hope that our future is indeed bright with such excellent gents and ladies.

It illustrates that age is not a barrier to achieving greatness. You are not too young to be great. A lot of people aspire to be outstanding in their field "when they grow up". When do you actually "grow up"? The thing is before you know it, time is far gone and you only have your past to reminisce about and you wonder where the future of your past has gone.

I remember when I was younger, one of my Sunday school teachers used to drum it into our ears then this verse in the bible where Apostle Paul was admonishing Timothy and he said "Do not let anyone despise your youth, but be an example....." (1Timothy 4 v 12). Now I understand and appreciate those words that used to be like a nagging in my ears (Thanks Dr B!).

Simply put, the apostle was advising Timothy and indeed all young people not to allow anyone look down on us nor under-estimate us because of our age but we should aspire to be leaders and achievers in spite of our youth. Your youth should never be a liability, rather it should be an asset to working towards your goals. Does not strength and enthusiasm lie in the bosom of the young?

Time is not on your side, you need to utilise and maximise every single second. A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hand.......

http://www.thefuturenigeria.com/organizers.php (Profile of the Organizers)

http://www.thefuturenigeria.com/nominees_profiles.php (Profile of the Finalists)

Violated....

2009-01-16T09:58:00.006Z

Hiya,

Its your erratic blogger signing in today after like 2 weeks!! (Oh and I made up my mind to be consistent in my blogging this year!!)

It can only get better!! :-)

I hope you are all anticpating the 20th of January. I can only imagine how many parties would be going on around the world. I have been invited to soo many already. "Obama Inauguration extravaganza", "Celebrate history in Style", "Obama's official inauguration party", "Change is here", "Yes we Can party" lol (Ok, I came up with all those ridiculous names :-)
But yeah it's going down and it's going down in style! The whole world would be agog (at least more than half of the world population hopefully. I'm not quite sure Obama is a household name in Kotangora)

Anyways today's post is actually not about Mr Obama - just thought to keep up with what's News item at the moment. In the same vain, I just want to say a special THANK YOU to God for all the 155 passengers aboard the plane that crashed in New York yesterday. No life was lost and even observers have termed it "AMAZING". That's one of the names of our wonderful God!! Thank God that 155 families are not mourning at the moment!! THANK GOD!!

Now to the real "koko" of my post today. I recently watched on of my favourite Nigerian...actually scratch that, make that one of my favourite movies of all times - "VIOLATED". I was sooo excited when I stumbled upon it on youtube. You see, I had been looking for it for soo long and infact given up on ever watching it again until that fateful day lol...

So, after watching it, I started going over every bit of the movie in my head as I usually do. And I was thinking to myself how Mr Amadi (the uncle of the lead actress who raped her when she was younger)......Hmm actually it would make more sense if I actually wrote the synopsis of the movie but mehn it would be quite long cause I would probably give you every single detail, in the process killing the suspense for those who haven't had the good fortune of watching it (Have I mentioned how much I love that movie?? lol). So I will leave you to the joy of watching the movie first-hand! (Bear in mind it's a classic romance)

Yeah anyways, Mr Amadi didn't really get "very very" punished for his sins as much as I would have thought was due him. Yes his wife left with the son and he lost his job but I felt it wasn't enough cause he was not brought to justice. Then I thought again that this bit was probably one of the areas that made the movie realistic. Sad but realistic.

In Africa, it's sad that a lot of "uncles", "big bros" and the likes get away with rape (statutory and otherwise) almost on a daily basis wthout being brought to face the law.

Most times, the shame and stigma attached to being a victim of rape is enough to make one keep quiet about the incident. Other times, the victims are so young and naive that they do not understand the full meaning of what is going on and the extent of the crime. Sometimes, fear is a factor that makes the crime go unpunished. The perpetrator would instill such deep fear in his victim through threats and in some cases just his position of financial or familial security to the girl.

Another big obstacle to justice being served is that though I'm sure there's a provision for such a crime in the laws of the land, not many people are aware of it. Victims don't know what help is available to them, where to go for help and who to talk to...leaving no option for the victims who are even bold enough to speak up. Besides no one talks about it so victims are misled to believe that it must be the norm...

The victims bear the scars for a long time and in some cases for life. This unfortunate incidence stops them from achieving their potential , it lowers self-esteem and kills dreams before they are born. It's a very sad sad issue......but it still persists. I have met a numebr of girls who have been sexually abused in one form or the other usually by "close" family members or friends and their stories are disheartening. What's worse, the perpertrators are most often not ever found out by others never mind being brought to justice!

Something has to happen! We definately need a change! We need a massive campaign to bring this ugly crime to the knowledge of people. The governemnt owes it people that they serve this duty; to educate and empower. We need a stronger, tougher and uncompromising justice system for the perpetrators and an accesible, open, confidential help and counselling center for the victims.

This decay can and must end!

The truth is that although the justice system may fail sometimes, God never fails. Whatever a man sows that shall he reap. Anyone who thinks he has escaped the law can NEVER ever hide from God.

My heart goes out to everyone who has or is a victim of rape/sexual abuse. May God heal you completely of every hurt and pain that has been caused. May He embrace you with His everlasting love and make you feel free again. May He breathe on you a new lease of life and wipe out the ugly memories of the past. May He make you see the gift of today and the beautiful promise of tomorrow that you have in Him and that no one can take away from you. May He spoil you with His love and make you undertstand and experience true love.

God bless you, Lots of love xxxxxx

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2009-01-01T22:39:00.002Z

WELCOME TO THE YEAR 2009!!

Wow! Aren't you glad you made it!! It's always a beautiful feeling at 00:00 of the first day in a new year. There's always this joyous even euphoric, expectant feeling.

It's great to see another year gone past!!

I pray that this year would be better than anyone before. May we all be great achievers in this new year, may our expectations not be cut short. May we have the grace to dream BIG!! And may our dreams become reality....

I wish you all the best from the very bottom of my heart. There's nothing that you cannot achieve nor become with God, for with Him all things are possible. If you can think it, you can see it, if you can see it, you can say it. If you can say it and believe it you can most definately achieve it by the grace of God almighty!

Don't let anything limit you. Don't put barriers to your dreams.....dare to dream impossible, that's why God gave you a mind and a heart! For with Him, nothing shall be impossible!!.

It's a new start, a new beggining... the latter shall always surpass the former!!

God bless xxxxxxx

And He jumped.....

2008-12-06T00:04:00.007Z

Today, I made up my mind that I was going to 1. Blog and 2. Study

Thank God I am able to do the first, the verdict is still out on the latter though :-)

To be honest I have LOOONGED to blog. Infact I have blogged tens of times in my mind but I have not found the strength to put fingers to keyboard - I don't know what the problem really is but I won't focus on that now so I don't ramble on and on and on and on......

This is quite a sober piece...

Yesterday, I travelled to a neighbouring city for the evening and was glad when the programme I went for finished earlier than expected. I was happy to jump on the train back home to get to my lovely housemates, facebook and bed (and maybe books.....maybe) when it was announced at the station that the train had been delayed indefinately as a result of a fatal accident.

What happened was that someone had jumped in front of a train in what was most probably a suicidal attempt (of which the person succeded). A lot of commuters who had just had a long day at work and were looking forward to getting home were quite disgruntled to say the least even whilst they sympathised with the poor victim.

Surprisingly (or not), the general attitude of people was more disgruntled than sympathy....

Whilst being delayed for 2 hours, I had time to wonder a bit about the situation. The death of a human being is never a pleasant one, added to the fact when the end comes in such a brutal manner. I used to believe that no one really wants to die, even for christians who know the joy of a better place in heaven, meeting face to face with their father, hence the joke "everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die".

What I wonder is, what compelled this person to want to end it all? Why did he feel the need to take his own life? What could have happened in his life for him to believe that jumping in front of a speeding train was the best way out? Did he not have something to live for - Family, friends?? Had he made a cry for help but no one took him seriously? Why would he voluntarily do that to himself?? Why did he choose that particular exit route? Was he trying to make a statement??

Why were people not moved as such? Has it become normal to commit suicide? Is it just another "unfortunate" incident?

So many questions.... some of which may never get a proper answer.

It's a sad sad thing. The only thing he got out of it probably was the stand-still of rail transport for 2 hours. Sad truth is that he still remains a faceless and nameless statistic even to us who heard about the "incident". I feel sad for the wasted life, the wasted destiny, the wasted opportunity.....I wonder if he heard the saying "Where there's life, there's hope". He probably did, but didn't believe it enough to want to stay alive.

Maybe, he knew that there was something wrong and he genuinely sought help but didn't find anyone to listen. Such a shame.....He could have looked up and said softly "Please help me, I need Your help".
This is also a learning curve for us to be sensitive to people who are down or just miserable...it just might be their cry for help

It's funny how people struggle each day to keep alive whilst somewhere else someone has just wasted one. May God bless his family if he had any and may He always give us the grace to see at least one thing in our lives worth living for.

The Headache

2008-11-03T23:50:00.004Z

Hiya, it's been a most hectic but interesting past couple of weeks for moi

It's soo hard being able to have some "ME" time! Arghhh

I wanna take a long holiday where I would be pampered and waited on hand and foot..........Oh, how I wish....... *sigh*

I sometimes wonder how I would cope when I get into a relationship/married... You see I love being BUSYY and I usually am!! My family and friends have actually started to complain that they hardly see/hear from me......the only people that see my brake-lights are my housemates :-)
After a long day, I just wanna come home and relaaaaaaax, read a book or just chill/sleeeep... I imagine if I had a man, he prolly would want to have the nightly gist which I would be soo loathe to do! I remember when I was with my ex-boyfriend, as much as I LOVED talking to him, there were some nights I would be soo tired, I would just ignore his calls (I felt soo bad but mehn....). He would ring me like 10 times but I would just pretend like it was just noise from the street :-)

That brings me to the question and debate about women who work and how possible/achievable it is to be a successful working woman + successful home-maker, wife and mother!! (Sheesh that is HARDWORK)

Imagine if I feel this way now, how about when I am married and my hussy wants to do more than talk after work?? No wonder women came up with that phrase that men hate to hear "I have a headache".
Imagine coming home after a very busy day at work, children are screaming and scrambling for your attention that they feel they have been unjustly deprived of all day... Worse still if you live in Britain where getting a nanny costs a small fotune. To fulfill the role of good mother, you check their homework, muster up some energy to play around with them, then get them ready for school the next day. Then off you go to perform your wifely duties (that's after you have managed to lay a sumptious dinner)

Please why won't such a woman have a "headache". At that point conjugal duty is prolly the last thing on her mind!
Gosh, women are SUPER-HUMAN!!!!

MEMORIES...

2008-10-23T00:58:00.004+01:00

I'm in my room, listening to slow love songs and going through the archives of my old facebook messages :-) (sent and received). I don't know how I'm feeling- up/down, good/bad.... what I do know is that there is this feeling of melancholy and "what could have been" and "what should be now". It's been going on for the past couple of days. Don't know why but I have been feeling the need to just be on my own and I've been in quite a somber mood....You see the reason why it's particularly unusual is that I am not one to be on my own at ALL...oh yes, I love having people around me ALL the time, I could almost run crazy if I have nothing to do or find myself on my own. But for some reason, right now I feel like withdrawing and spending some "me" time...Oh well, it's only temporary, believe me :-)

Tonight, I've been doing some sort of "soul-searching". Just taking a trip down memory lane..... I remember when I had that caption as my facebook status, someone wrote cheekily on my wall, "hope you come back via third mainland bridge". It was some HOT guy and I think I might have had a little school girl crush on him (old woman like me) so imagine how pleased I was that he commented on my state of mind lol....
Anyways, I was just going through my messages and that particular HOT guy is now a part of that memory trip. As it happened, that wall post was just a start of many more messages as well as night phone calls (you know you don't discuss lecture notes or the weather at that time :-).

When I go through old stuff like old messages and diaries..I smile and sometimes wish I could turn back the hands of time in some circumstances... I read little notes or messages I wrote in the past to that special someone and I long for days gone past.. I remember that special thing he did, how we could keep talking and talking,. How we were such good friends who understood each other so much! Sometimes I wonder what went wrong or in some cases I remember where it all started to go topsy-turvy.

On the other hand, sometimes what jumps out at me are those things I did/said, and now with the fortune of hindsight I wonder why I said/wrote such a thing. Nevertheless there are times when I am actually impressed with what I said/did and I'm like "you actually did/said that!".

The simple act of going through my archives of old messages brings up so many emotions, it's amazing that such a simple act is capable of evoking so MUCH! It's worth it though because as the memories start to form a story in your mind, it's like watching a movie of your life! Better still, it's a time to re-evaluate and re-examine. It gives you the opportunity to stop and analyse areas you could have done better or situations you could have handled better. It also sometimes makes you see loose ends that you probably forgot to tie up or unexplored opportunities that you have forgotten to get back to...... At least I found one or two. Hope to let you know how it all turns out. By God's grace, I hope as usual for the best!!

Wish you the same
xxxx

LETTING GO 1

2008-10-19T23:03:00.016+01:00

One thing I have learnt over the years is that letting go is one of the hardest and most painful things to do in this world! But the sad thing is that like change it is inevitable, you could call it a necesary evil... :-(

It may be letting go of a relationship, a position or even a favourite top! Letting go is quite different from losing something or someone, the latter sometimes may be something good or bad that you may not have control over -and it goes without you having a lot of control in the matter. On the other hand, in letting go, you may have control over it and you may well have to make a conscious effort to do so ( I hope I have been able to convince you and not confuse you...lol).

Personally, I have had to strive/work hand to let things go. It ranges from the serious - emotions/feelings, position, boyfriend.. to the trivial - shoes, clothes etc... As I am sure those who have had to go through this process know, it is not funny business at all!! But it has to be done..

I remember when my first ever serious relationship broke up, it was hell!! Oh my goodness!! I thought I would just die (thinking back I know that was quite drastic :-) but to be honest I understood what those novelist used to say about preferring a physical pain to heart-ache cause at least the physical pain could be seen and would soon be remedied but with your heart it's like you can't see it and there is no solution... lol (I am just a romantic fool! lol). But the breaking up wasn't the hardest part, the letting go process was.....

It was hard letting go the fact that I would go to bed without talking to him (all those looooong phone-calls) I mean, who would I tell all those meaningless nevertheless "news-worthy" events that happened in the day? It was hard letting "my" boyfriend go. Breaking up meant that special bond we had was gone, no more talking to each other with our eyes or a covert gesture in a crowded room. No more hearing that special "my boo" ringtone that I have specially for him (the song won't be the same again). No more special preference with him nor being so close that we were able to exchange passwords to high important accounts like facebook or hi-5 lol!.... These bits are what make letting go very tough after the end of a relationship! Long after the first few weeks of awkwardness (the first few times you see each other again), you are able to put up a "I'm good and alright" face up yet inside you still haven't completely let go......

For a lot of us, we can't turn on/off our emotions like a tap. It takes time to fully completely let go. That's why we usually secretly despise (ok, cannot be friends) with our exes immediate new girl/boyfriend after our exit lol (admit it!!). It's either his/her nose is a bit on the large side or he/she isn't just good enough lol (alright, some people are nice/weird like that and they actually become bff with them :-)

But is this behaviour normal or are we (me and you) a bit out in the head lol....How hard is it for others to let go? Is that why some people would rather stay in a draining relationship, rather than face the harsh reality of a break up?

Well if it is partially normal behaviour :-) then I can only say that one thing that never fails to work or help is God! TRUST ME, when I am in the lowest of lows, I try to remember how special I am with Him even if "he"-the boyfriend doesn't think so at this point lol....or even if I am not feeling it myself!! God does wonderful things to my self esteem!! I definately whole-heartedly recommend that!! :-)

I shall continue in the nearest future...hehe

God bless xx

One Fine Day

2008-09-10T15:59:00.004+01:00

How goes it? I stumbled upon this write up on someone's hi5 page, it was soo funny, I just have to share it!! (You see, I really do think about you!! :-)

It was just like any other day, the sun shone the same way it had been shining since the beginning of time, the same sound of everyday activity, the same set of people going about the same job, all around me people carried out their mundane tasks, but to me, it was not an ordinary day it was the day I had been waiting for I had longed for a day like this since like forever.

Though I have been greatly anticipating this day, I have mixed feelings about it. Don't get me wrong, I am filled with euphoria, but you know how you get like butterflies in your stomach when such a day comes. You want everything to be perfect, you want none of your plans to fall out of place, and you pray and hope for the best. Anyways, so far so good, nothing seemed out of place. I went to the dry-cleaners to pick up my outfit for tonight.

My lovely dress was ready and waiting for me hanging beautifully just behind the reception desk. I'm sure even the dry-cleaners felt proud at being giving the task to clean such gorgeous attire (it is my most outrageous expense, but worth every penny it cost) As soon as I got home, I took my time to get ready; my friends kept calling to ask "how I felt", "what was going through my mind", "how envious they were". I only managed to get them off the phone by promising to give them the whole gist of the evening.

Finally, I was ready and good to go. I took a final look at the mirror in the foyer and had to admit to myself that I looked absolutely fabulous (even I have to say so myself). The assigned chauffeur was waiting patiently for me by the limo, I stepped in gracefully as if I had been riding one all my life (yeah rite).

Walking into the restaurant, I had to struggle to keep my cool cause all I wanted to do at that moment was scream and jump for joy to release the tension in my body. Then I saw him waiting patiently for me like the gentleman I had heard he was. He was signing on a tissue for a young woman and her daughter, and then he looked up and gave me one of his famous smiles that have been known to drive girls crazy.

I sauntered up to him like a model strutting her stuff on the runway (at least that's how it seemed to me). I could hear him saying "Hello, Boris Kodjoe, but please feel free to call me Boris" I smiled and said "Hi, One plus the One, feel free to call me One plus the one (like duuh!! Why I said that, I am still wondering). We both laughed and I guess that kind of broke the ice, he took my hands and was just about to say something when I heard someone call my name out loud, strangely it sounded very familiar, I thought I was just hearing things when I heard that noise again, then I opened my eyes and saw my mum shouting my name saying, "ONE look at the time, you are still sleeping!!"

Teehee
God bless xx

P.S I am soo excited/happy/joyous...lol, I just discovered how to attach pictures and videos!! Makes for even more exciting blogging!! hehehe... I just realised I had been getting one tiny part wrong, gosh I am soo bush, God help me! lol.

P.S2 I don't know why but I am so loving Naeto C's "Kini Big deal". Maybe just for the heck of it, I would upload the video- just to show off lol. (I would be doing that also to my previous posts so erhmm expect moreeee...yipee yayo eyyy!!

P.S3 Ok I just tried to upload the video and it's not exactly going according to plan so erhmm please I still need help with uploading videos :-(
Here's the link to the video though

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HJbCOvCRfI

Oh That's Hot!

2008-09-09T21:39:00.002+01:00

How goes it? (that's my new greeting slang-oh well, at least until I get a new and "cooler" one" lol)

You know as a young Christian I find it hard sometimes to mix Christianity and being cool! Don't get me wrong, I don't think for a second that it's boring to be a Christian but sometimes the avenue to be cool is not very "Christian". For example, today I saw an article online and I wasn't sure if it was alright to like it lol... (I did anyway, like it I mean!)

For instance, is it alright to appreciate and make comments about hot guys? Is the word hot/sexy appropriate in describing someone of the opposite sex?? Don't think I'm being extreme, picture this - you're in church, the pastor's son/daughter looks really nice and you're like "oh my, you look HOT!!" lol... On the other hand, if you were talking to your non-christian friend and you say the same it's not that bad and then you feel bad cause it's a bit hypocritical! lol...I know my imagination runs crazy sometimes!! But, I still wonder...

How do I dress up without mis-representing my belief?? You see I love short skirts, shorts.. and erhmm I don't know.... How do you proclaim your faith with punctuating most of your words and actions like "by the grace of God", "it is well" without seeming like a fanatic??
I know sometimes the answer seems pretty straight forward but in practice it's not as easy as it seema..

You know how it is when you are chatting with your friends at school/work or someone you just met and they are talking about things you have strong views about such as sex before marriage (yeah, that sensitive subject!) drinking, clubbing, abortion(trust me, it is becoming quite the norm, ask Marie Stopes!) etc etc.. It's you against like 5 to 10 people and you are like erhmmm.... lol

Just to encourage you, you are not the only one who struggles with it, even the best of us find it difficult! I mean I wanna be "cool" too, say "cool" words, act "cool", do "cool" things, lol.. I put the word cool in quotation marks cause it's quite relative. It has been quite misused over the years and the wrong things have become the new "cool" but always remember that the bible says in Romans12v2 that we should not be conformed to this world... Don't do things cause everyone is doing it, you have to draw the line sometimes and stand for what you believe in! It's hard but by the grace of God (yeah, that phrase :-) it is very possible.. Remember you are not in it alone, God would give you the grace and the strength to do it!!!

Not to say for you to completely let go and become frumpy!! NOPE! Be a pacesetter, fashion-wise and in other areas, endeavor to look gooood, I mean you have a beautiful God clothed in majesty, REPRESENT!! There are many ways to be cool without compromising!! You don't have to look or act dry to be a bona fide Christian lol..

Develop a good sense of humour, be charming, charismatic... Walk with a swagger (it's not a sin :-) Be polite and nice to people..that's cool! Learn how to dance well. Harness whatever skill you have, be it dancing, singing, poetry, rapping, comedy....anything! Explore all your potentials... Let others see you and envy you!! REPRESENT!!!

God bless xxxx

Hooker

2008-09-08T20:12:00.007+01:00

Heyy
How you doing? Hope the cold isn't getting to you (for non-UK dwellers, it's getting quite cold in Britain) I would surely miss summer a lot! Now would be a good time to have a significant other to cuddle up to :-)

I'm not really feeling inspired at the moment but feel it's necessary to drop in. Let's see, anyone interested in politics? What do you think of the furore that is the impending US elections? The whole world is agog with news of every single development. If Obama sneezes, Malawi would find out how long it occurred for, if McCain smiles, Bangladesh would want to know why! Oh well it's prolly cause the US economy affects each and everyone of the other countries in the world. The position of the American president is known to be the most important and whoever holds it is thought to be the most important person in the world! All the best to both candidates and for the sake of the rest of us, may the best man win!

Talking about America, something funny happened to me so maybe I'll just share (the danger of sharing personal experiences is the risk of getting found out hence my reluctance to talk about personal issues :-). Anyways, back to the story at hand, someone I know (reasonably older than me) called me out of the blues one day and after the opening pleasantries asked "would you like to marry my brother?" I was a bit taken back by the unusual "proposal", I would have just laughed it off but the seriousness of the conversation made me hold myself. Let me say here that I am not well disposed to "hook-ups" i.e a mutual friend hooking me up with someone they know.

Reason being that if things don't work out, it becomes a bit difficult to maintain a cordial relationship with the "hooker" lol. Oh well the said brother leaves in America and was looking for a wife.... By the way, I don't think I mentioned to my friend that I was looking for a husband at any point in time :-) Suffice to say it didn't really work out, we were introduced but erhmmm, let's just say he didn't quite "rock my boat" hehehe (I hope the feeling wasn't mutual, lol)

What can I say I didn't really like it but it's the thought that matters and I am quite flattered that my friend thought me a worthy wifey for the precious brother..

Have to run now, there's a nice Nigerian movie waiting to be watched!
God bless xxxx

AN IDEAL MAN

2008-08-27T00:28:00.009+01:00

I cannot believe it's been almost a whole WEEK!! Wow, I am really slacking! :-( I really need to buckle up!! I have had sooo many topics for discussion running around in my head for the past few days. So many things have happened, I have heard so many things, I have read so many things and I have experiened so many emotions! It's been quite a mini roller-coaster actually.

It makes me wonder then why it is so difficult for me to blog regularly??!! Granted, I have been quite busy in the past few days but who isn't? I believe it's all down to an acute case of procrastination + a tad bit of laziness (yeah yeah I'm quite lazy BUT working on it :-)

I saw this quote a few days back on someone's blog and I absolutely loved it and I leave you with the thought!..

"A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man has to seek Him in order to find her"

Isn't that just profound? Ever since I saw this quote, I have been ruminating it (hope that was properly phrased, lol) in my head. I would LOVE to be that kind of woman!!! One thing I wouldn't compromise in finding the ideal man is that he must have a PASSION for God. Infact that quality is a top pre-requisite!!

The beauty of such a man is that the fear of God would make him unable to do some certain things. Just like the song that says "when a man loves a woman....", "when a man loves his God!" he would find it difficult to lie/cheat/hit his girl. He would treat her with so much love and respect for the sake of God.. Why wouldn't I want a guy like that?? :-) I have always believed that once a man is right with God, other (good) things would surely follow.

I am not talking about a man who proclaims he is a christian and does everything to negate that fact but a man who truly loves God. There is a big difference!
May God help us in our quest to findng THE ONE!!

Kisses

LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX!

2008-08-19T17:35:00.005+01:00

Hey!! Howdy!
How have you been? Hope you have been good and not up to anything naughty!

Today I've got time for only a short write-up but hopefully it would be worthwhile.... You see I'm a "busy somebody" lol.

As a single young lady, my mind tends to waunder a LOT! Especially with respect to some particular aspects hehee.. What makes it even worse is that this particular subject is not readily discussed in the part of the world that I come from. Even though we are evolving and people are becoming more comfortable with talking about it, unfortunately erhmm it's not really like that in my house :-) My parents are not just that comfortable... maybe they are shy or probably want to keep me as "innocent" as possible for as long as they can!

The issue os sex is something I believe parents should discuss with their kids!! What do you think?

Sorry I have to cut this short but I have to dash now but I will definately continue the discussion......

Later
God bless xxxx

I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABIES!!

2008-08-14T19:21:00.012+01:00

Mrs A, Mrs B or Mrs F, which one has the nicest ring to it?

No, I'm not getting married but I spoke to someone today and we really got on well so I was just trying out his surname to see if it would fit with mine, lol. Crazy huh? hahaha.. I know, but funny thing is that's what happens most times!!

That's why I love Natasha Bedingfield's song "I wanna have your babies!" lol (I'm listening to it right now). I remember one of my male friends making a comment about the song and saying how ridiculous it was, and how it wasn't true.... I just laughed and thought to myself "if only he knew" lol! The reason why I love that song soo much is that whilst its a bit exaggerated the sentiments are quite on point:-)

I don't know if it's just me and Natasha Bedingfield that act in that way but I remember how I get when I meet someone new and a short while after, I start thinking if he's "THE ONE". I do a very quick but thorough check on his background, physical and spiritual attributes, character etc. I could get all this informatIon from one or two conversations with him (what can I say, your girl gat skills, lol). ... There was this particular guy whom I really liked and who "scored" high points in my personal potential boyfriend (husband :-) test but I guess all my prodding finally got to him and he couldn't take any more of it, he actually jokingly remarked once that he felt like he was taking an examination and once asked "so, did I pass?" Poor boy, if only he knew what was going through my crazy mind! hehehe.... Worst still, little sad me, GET A LIFE!!

One mistake I used to make a lot (I'm a changed person now of course! :-) was that I focused soo much on making sure that every guy I met measured up to a certain standard that I forgot to just relax and enjoy the moment and experience the process of getting to know them like a normal person.. I would check for this and that and in cases where I had found all that out, I would move on to even more stupidly trivial matters and ask "random" leading questions such as "what would you do if your wife (*cough cough*, me) bla bla bla" and await his response to see if he were the one or not...lol. I laugh at it now but it wasn't funny then, I was simply stark raving out of any form of common sense.

Someone once told me that men can "smell" when women want to take things to a further level FAST and there's one way in which guys usually react, they run FAST! Not in your direction, sorry to disappoint you honey but they run AWAY... So we only end up getting the wrong response!

Thank God I have tried and been able to relax a lot now and I've decided to take things easy, key objective being "make friends first and other things would follow". Enjoy the "honeymoon" period of dating and don't ruin it all by being "anxious for nothing". Relax, if he's yours he's yours, if not then his loss!! *wink wink*

God bless xx

P.S Can someone please inform/instruct/educate me on how to upload videos on this page, merci/muchos gracias!! xxx

Until then you can copy and paste (hehe) this link to watch the famous Natasha Bedingfield's song "I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABIES"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3YLpl2cxuc

GOOD FRIENDS

2008-08-12T15:28:00.004+01:00

I'm sorry!!

I've been away for soo long, if it helps I have missed you just as much as you have :-)
I have been quite busy and even though I have longed to blog, I haven't had the time to. Oh well, I'm back now, hopefully I would not be gone for that long again (or at least for another long while). So what's happened? Any new thing? Job, school, family, man?? hehehe. Well I am still single :-) Wouldn't it have been nice if it were a new man that's been keeping me from blogging? Sigh! that day would come... not to worry though I would be on hand to give all the gist hehehe...

Yesterday, someone did something for me that touched me so much. One of my friends went out of her way to do something extra-ordinary for me and it left me feeling so grateful for good friends. I would like to dedicate today's post to good friends.

Good friends make you forget that you are single as they fill in that loneliness and emptiness that sometimes creeps up on you. I have mentioned in earlier posts about learning to enjoy the company of your friends and not paying particular attention to having "exclusivity" with your boyfriend/girlfriend. It's important to surround yourselves with people who make you feel good about yourself as well as friends who go out of their way to do things for you. Better still it is important to BE that kind of friend to someone else.

A lot of times we look for "good" friends. Everyone is searching for a worthy friend however forgetting to check if they themslves can be termed as good or worthy friends. When was the last time you did something special for your friend? How often do you go out of your way to help your friend? Are you reliable? Can your friends honestly say that you are trust-worthy and loyal? Do you make your friends smile? Do you compliment them often or just criticise them? When was the last time you noticed something good or different about your friend and mentioned it?

Being a good friend like being a good wife/husband is HARDWORK!!... But very rewarding. Many times we get so comfortable in friendship that we forget to maintain it by occasional kind gestures. A little smile today, a little thoughtful gift (even if inexpensive) goes a long way to show your friends that you appreciate them. Don't wait for special occasion to be nice, do it NOW! Remember when you finally get into a relationship, these are things you would have to do, so why don't you practice now by being a good friend... good friends make good partners in relationships....Its very simple but true.

I would like to challenge you today, do something special for at least one of your friends today. I would try to do the same and let you know about the result tomorrow. (If you like, you can do something special for me, I wouldn't mind hehehe :-)

I hope you have fulfilling relationships and may you be surrounded by good friends!!!xxxxx

P.S Sorry about the seriousness of this post but erhmm what can I say, I am feeling kinda serious meself!

God bless xxx

Let's Get Married

2008-08-01T10:33:00.009+01:00

Is it me or does it seem like everyone around me is in such a hurry to be "hooked"??! Either by marriage or just as partners, it doesn't really matter, the main point is that they have someone to call their own... It baffles me sometimes to realise that in the face of feminism, liberation and the sorts, the expectancy rate hasn't fallen, if possible it has risen and continues to do so. Nowadays, a young girl of 12 wants a "serious" relationship. Infact I have seen a few 4/5 year olds introducing their "boyfriend/girlfriend" to their parents (I find this pretty amusing, lol). But really though, what's the rush? Why are people in such a hurry to be coupled up? Are people getting quite bored with themselves? Is it no longer fun to hang out with good friends and family? Where's all the pressure coming from?

I do not speak as a stranger to these pressure to be "hooked", on the contrary I was a bonafide member of the "I want to get married or be in a good/serious relationship" society. I remember growing up as a christian, I didn't believe in random relationships, what we in secondary school used to term as "going out", I just felt it was a good waste of time! Nevertheless I was fanatical about romance. Oh I loved -scratch that - ADORED the act and process of falling in love. I was (and still am) a chocolate, flowers, candlelit dinners, surprise gesture kinda person (hehee) but I was prepared to wait for the right person.

I don't know when the change happened but I started to long after having a great relationship of my own. I tried to look for the "ideal" candidate and believed the rest would follow (according to those darn romance books -sorry to bust your bubbles ladies, there's only an element of truth in those stories, it's not all Cinderella and the Prince in real life! :-) Funny thing was no one was putting any pressure on me, just MOI, ME, MYSELF and I! Yes, my friends had an influence and yes the romance books and movies didn't help either but I made the decision myself to be anxious about it! I planned my love life out - How I wanted to meet Mr Right, what circumstance, how long we would "go out" for and what age I would get married (I am just hilarious!!!) Erhmmm, suffice to say it didn't quite work out that way, lol and then I began to obsess about it ( I am just like that hahaha). Funny thing is if you are looking for something to happen so much, there's a high possibilty that you would make mistakes or rush into stuff or worse, settle for less!

Thank God for His grace, there's nothing like the way God makes you feel to boost your self-esteem, for me that has always been a strong and unfailing anchor. I realise that I cannot settle for just anything because God has BIG plans for me and oh no I'm I ready to jeopardise that because I want to "fall in love". I have decided to stop chasing after what would eventually chase me in God's own time, it's not easy but the end result is more than worth the wait! Instead, I focus more on developing and building relationships with my friends and family, I learn to enjoy my own company, my alone time. I learn to love hanging out with my friends, doing things together (I thank God that I have amazing and wonderful friends!)

It's important to find yourself before committing yourself into a serious relationship, stop trying to look for yourself in someone else, you won't find YOU instead you would get lost even deeper! Whilst you keep yourself busy making friends and having fun, you would not be so focused on finding THE ONE. When he comes, he would do all the chasing and not the other way round >(Don't be fooled, men love the thrill of the chase, what's the point of keeping something that you got sooo easy?). He would wine and dine you..... Perhaps that romantic fantasy would be reality after all *wink wink* lol

God bless! xxxx

A place called "beautiful"

2008-07-29T00:14:00.009+01:00

Today's another day, nothing major has happened but a lot of lessons learnt. One thing I truly believe in is trying as much as possible to make/get the best out of everything and every kind of situation. I strongly believe that it's a decision that you make, things don't tend to just happen, YOU make them happen!! Don't wait for something to happen, MAKE THINGS HAPPEN!! I can't stress this point enough but I hope it sinks in.... :-)

Anyways since I don't have enough to say about today, let me talk about yesterday which was Sunday... I LOVE SUNDAYS!! This never used to be the case though, I remember when I was younger and I LOATHED sundays, lol. The earlier bit was nice cause of church and sunday lunch but the latter part......arghh! The evening signified an end to a lovely weekend and the dreaded back to school reality!! Eugh!! :-( I remember there used to be something eerie about sunday nights and I just whole-heartedly disliked that annoying "News at 9" or "Newsline" programme they used to show at the time, the opening song was more like a dirge to me..... Oh how I hated it! lol

Nevertheless, I'm happy to say that I am grown up now *I think, or at least managed to convince myself :-)* and Sunday doesn't leave that bad taste in my mouth any longer. Actually I look forward to the day eagerly!! The reason for this change is largely attributed to going to church! I know it sounds really unconventional but trust me going to church on Sunday morning is one of the HIGH points of my week! When I struggle (yes I do struggle :-) out of bed in the morning, getting ready and dressing up is a ritual I quite enjoy a lot! As most ladies would tell you, looking good and dressing up to the teeth is one art we truly enjoy (Why do you think we spend sooo long at the shops/online shopping??) In addition to that, I want to look good for "my main main", my first love, Jesus.... I am an ardent believer in dressing up to church, no matter how relaxed the atmosphere is, I equate it to meeting with a celebrity or being the guest of royalty (of which God is above both) hence the need to dress for the occasion..

One of the best part though is walking into church....the ATMOSPHERE!! Oh so beautiful, amazing, peaceful, joyous... I really can't explain how I feel but it's a gooooood feeling!! Just being there is wonderful enough, the presence of God is really indescribable, you need to experience it to understand! My favourite part of church meeting/service is good/spirit-filled praise and worship! I love singing, dancing, clapping, jumping, screaming, being a child in God's presence. The great thing about praise and worship is that whilst you are giving it to God, He gives you back in return at that moment so much joy and peace in addition to a whole lot more!! Oh I love His presence sooo much, it's sooo great :-)
The people as well make up a good service as there's such nice comfort in a loving and welcoming atmosphere...

I know it can be hard to understand what the "fuss" is about but if you have experienced it before you'll appreciate where I'm coming from :-) If you haven't "then you just don't know, but you gotta ask somebody" hehehe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Esqe-ZvgFzM&feature=related - One of my favourite praise songs!!! (Just copy and paste to your browser)Enjoy.......xxxx

PDA day

2008-07-26T15:34:00.009+01:00

It's a loovely saturday afternoon today and perfect for a nice walk/picnic at the beach/ ice-cream date/ window shopping with a better half but erhmm I just remembered I'm single :-) Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining nor am I very much bothered but it would be nice to share such a day with "my man". Anyways no use crying over milk not yet bought :-)

For the single girl, it can be quite stressful going into town (special reference to the UK where I am) where it's otherwise known as PDA day!! (PDA as in Public Display of Affection!) Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to insult your intelligence by fully expanding the acronym but I remember the first time I heard it, I actually thought it was the name of a car navigator like GPRS lol (razzite like me) ... Anyways, back to what I was discussing, I know you guys understand what I mean when I say it is absolutely annoying and sometimes frustrating to see a man and a lady walking in front of you and then stop in the middle of road/street to french kiss with some bum grabbing thrown in for good measure......arggghhhh!! I get so irritated, Im like "Can't you just wait??". Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being affectionate with your partner/husband/wife but.....mildly please!! There's such a thing as public decorum!! Whatever happened to good old hand holding or arms around each other or whispering sweet nothings to each other or even a brush of the hands on a specific part of (decent) body part?? Trust me, this things can be done in such an intimate manner that makes the action even more romantic than full on body grabbing or caressing!

Quite frankly I personally think it's disrespectful! Show that you appreciate my body so much that you would rather protect "it" from the full glare of men who would potentially start getting ideas about it in their heads! Be possesive about my body by waiting till we get behind the privacy of our home thereby allowing the other guys see but can't touch nor have what they can only see :-) Honey if you care about me, respect my body!! That's one of the rules of the game!!

Anyways, have a lovely weekend!! For the coupled up, enjoy the day out with "your man" or "your gurl", make sure you make the best of it, be romantic for a change, it's not a sin :-) and for my fellow "waiters" (as in waiting for "the one") erhmmm, be like me get a good book/movie and snuggle up in bed with ice-cream and every kind of naughty food that you really shouldn't have all the time. Better still, put on that gorge summer outfit with a nice pair of flip-flops or sandals, big celebrity shades and even bigger handbag and hit the streets/ shopping center/beach/restaurant looking even hotter than the day......... we are single and free aren't we! "wink"

God bless xx

2008-07-23T16:11:00.002+01:00

My first post a.k.a my first child!!!! lol

Hey my new friends!! Glad you could join me on this new "escapade" (I wish!)..... I am neither jobless nor bored, (perish the thought!! :-)) but I have a desire to write an experience of the journey to finding the one whilst patiently waiting for the best that God has for me. Trust me it is not that easy especially when it seems like ALL the people around you are in one fulfilling relationship or another!!

I am single at the moment (obviously, lol), I've had a short history of relationships (thankfully, good ones :-), I've made mistakes in the past with regards to relationships, I am a christian and I enjoy a very wonderful relationship with God my father, my first love!! I believe in marriage and the knowledge that a good one or actually a great one is achievable by the grace of God. I do not believe in sex before marriage according to the word of God nevertheless knowing it's wrong doesn't make it easy to obey but it's possible by God's grace.

I believe that finding the right partner in God contributes to the success of a good marriage hence the reason why sometimes I am so "passionate" about getting that aspect right. I must confess, not very healthy all the time!! lol. When I remember some of the things I did when I was younger, I LAUGH!! LOL.

The blog name is inspired by the fact that me (one) plus God (The One) make a great combination and there's only one space left for the other "one", what can I say, three's company....four's a crowd :-)

I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy blogging xxxxx

One + The One

Warning, Excess Luggage!

Everyone desires a GREAT man.... But can you handle him?!

Why am I like this??! - 7 things I have learnt so far...

It's a brand NEW journey!!

HE DOES NOT LIKE YOU LIKE THAT! SHIKENA (Finish/Finito!)

WORTH THE WAIT? YOU BET!

Taking it back OLD SCHOOL

Don't Worry it's YOU he chose....

Dear Daddy

The Other Woman....

How to be in a relationship!

I am an UNMARRIED YOUNG FEMALE get me outta here!

Random Thoughts/Random Questions/Feel Very Free to Answer Any!

Tale of the Crack-Berry!

Why don't you trust me?

Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011!

Just Before You LAUGH....

Dear Daddy....... It's a Journey!

Just a Little Something....

Till death doth this Go?

Where are the Beautiful Ones I Ask?!?

LINE OF FRIENDSHIP

There's Nobody like You.....

I'm Waiting....*sigh*

Oh How Times Have Changed!!

Valentine new wahala?

... NEW POST!! lol

Fronting... To be or not to be?

Because...

Get it Right!

Conversations

Ladies!

Countdown

10 Secrets to a happy Marriage/Relationship

My Dear Daddy 2

Family Post: MUM 101

My Dear Daddy

Memoirs of an ageing Young-y

Daddy's Angry Again

Something (NOT) for the Examination Hall

Allow me to Introduce (2).....

Allow Me To Introduce......

DILEMMA

Pass You By - A Boyz II Men Lesson

Case of the Ex

Daddy's Angry Again

Baby, Why haven't you called?

Because I'm worth it!

Random Thoughts

Knock Knock..

Random + Laying it Bare

The One??

Here Today....(May be) Gone Tomorrow

What's your purpose?

Frankie and Benny's

BLOGGER OF THE YEAR BY FIRE BY FORCE

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

DATING RULES THEY NEVER TELL YOU!!

Time on My Side

Violated....

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

And He jumped.....

The Headache

MEMORIES...

LETTING GO 1

One Fine Day

Oh That's Hot!

Hooker

AN IDEAL MAN

LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX!

I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABIES!!

GOOD FRIENDS

Let's Get Married

A place called "beautiful"

PDA day

I'm Waiting....sigh